It’s natural for parents and educationists to feel embarrassed to touch subjects such as homosexuality. But it aches my heart to state that it is as evident as the broad daylight today. And I am not talking about the heedless, liberal, elite societies, or about the Western countries. It’s happening very much around us in our own communities and the thoughts that are seeded along it are extremely fatal.
Anyone who has access to a smart phone is at risk, irrespective of age, gender, class, belief system, etc.
How to tackle it then? Well, lots of Dua and some timely steps may abate by Allah’s (swt) Will what is to come.
- Talk about it age appropriately
As I said earlier, it may be a source of discomfort but it has become absolutely critical that we talk to our girls and boys as young as even 10 years of age. Without being graphic or sharing explicit details, we can ask them what they think about ‘girls marrying girls’ and ‘boys marrying boys’. The probable response will be ‘yuck’ or ‘ewww’. As Alhumdulillah, Allah (swt) has placed a natural aversion for evil it is best to enforce it as early as possible in minds before media’s mind control takes over. It is actually encouraged to tell boys that they will marry nice girls one day and girls will marry nice boys likewise. This will help them get settled with the idea of male and female future relationships.
- Monitor their privacy
As parents, we are naïve and firmly believe in our upbringing, which is great. But we still need to stay vigilant without turning hysterical, especially if our kids have unsupervised access to books, social media, cartoons, or movies.
Many mothers have caught their kids’ private chats via their smart phone history. It’s best to ask reflective questions such as: “What do you think about this movie?” “What impact will this character’s decision have?” “Why is the culture of same gender relationship being promoted?”
Same goes for study groups. You can have a firm policy at home of no closed door studying among friends. They can be allotted a quiet space for their needful studying. And only allow kids to visit homes you trust have similar safety zones.
- Talk to them about what Quran states
“And We created you in pairs.” (An-Naba 78:8)
Allah (swt) has created a marvellous world where humans, animals, plants, and many species are made in pairs of male and females. And there is wisdom in it. As they both complement each other.
Talk to them about Qaum-e-Lut (as) whose nation was destroyed for the evil of practicing homosexuality. Regardless of what the world states, the trends that take place, and the psychological jargon that is thrown our way, evil is a sin and it only lands in Hellfire. Nobody dares goes against Allah’s (swt) creation plan otherwise he will earn His Wrath.
- Readers are not always leaders
This is the greatest fallacy of our times. Simply because we are not writing our books, someone else with a nefarious agenda is. I, being an ardent reader and writer, always advise parents never to leave an open field for kids to choose and read whatever their friends are reading or is the norm. Believe it or not, they are better off with substandard level of English and an under-developed imagination than have to read trashy and tacky literature that is being dumped in our book stores.
And give them a critical reason for why you feel a certain book is not appropriate for them. Too many books are being written around the subject of homosexuality as the selling thing for teens. And these stories written or visual have a dark influence.
- Knowledge of Satar and Haya
If your children – both sons and daughters – are going for swimming, football matches, cricket, and so on, ensure that they have complete knowledge of their Satar (Aura). Just because they are with their friends, siblings, and teammates doesn’t mean that they can dress up in front of each other or watch others dress up.
Mostly, people are very ignorant and relaxed in these matters whether young or adult. I have witnessed mothers and teachers completely negligent about these matters and stripping off their kids in front of others, not realizing how the child’s sense of shame is terribly marred. They develop an ease for nudity.
And a high level of caution must be practiced during school and college trips away from home. Many disturbing incidents of sinning by students have been reported, which parents are unaware of.
- Keep your child’s heroes in radar
As a parent or teacher, you must know who your child or student is inspired by. This only happens when you have casual conversations. When you let your kids speak without being interrupted, no matter what nonsensical talk he is uttering. And it is not easy, especially when kids are admiring and willing to follow the wrong crowd.
As parents, it is best to reserve any on the spot reaction. Our responses need to be planned and carried out with wisdom. Arrange exposure to places and people who can challenge your child’s skills and groom their inner talent. Seek advice from counsellors. This will eventually take care of the unhealthy thoughts developing.
Lecturing, arguing and yelling are the last thing to be opted for. You will never win.
- Be extremely selective about your child’s school, companions and past times
Most bad habits are caught on from these areas simply because they are left unguarded. An educational institute with great academic standards does not ensure that it will admit students coming from the most respectable families only. Whoever meets their intellectual standard shall be taken.
In extreme cases, many families have opted for home schooling to protect their kids from the unworthy social interactions after the schools showed apathy or helplessness in tackling sensitive issues.
Private education is a great way out for all such families who are concerned about their kid’s social whereabouts and unable to curb bad influences coming from school mates.
- Make Dua and let your kids hear it
“Allahummaghfir zanbahu wa tahhir qalbahu wa hassin farjahu” (Ahmad)
“Oh Allah! Forgive his sin, purify his heart and protect his private parts.”
Let your kids know how important Haya is. It is Iman’s twin brother. If we are lax about our concept of Haya, our Iman departs. And a person who dies without Iman is not heading for heaven. So it’s serious business.
Let your kids also make dua for themselves: “Allahumma inni as aluka alhuda, wattuqa, wal afafa wal ghina.” (Muslim)
“O Allah! Indeed I beg You for guidance, and Taqwa and chastity and liberation from dependence on people.”
- Why the prevalent trend?
It’s important for your child to know why the world is shifting to deviated ideas. Why countries are legislating and providing protection to gays and lesbians? Why the media is promoting it? Why people are openly declaring their wrong choices and gaining support for it? Why famous icons, celebrities, and movie stars are representing these ideologies? Why these communities are transforming into movements? And why it is happening among Muslims too?
The basic answer is the evolution of societies who have no form of organized religion. There is a pursuit of the material world which leaves little room for belief in the unseen world. Naturally, the existence of a God is being challenged. Hence when they do not believe in a God, morally they are not bound or answerable for their choices in life. The battle is to protect our Iman now!