“Verily, We created man of the best stature (mould).” (At-Teen 94:4)
A sin is an action that takes us away from the pleasure of Allah (swt). But why does it do so? A sin takes us away from Allah (swt) because it’s an action that goes against our own human potential. It takes us away from being our best, and we behave in ways that degrade our dignity – we show the worst of ourselves.
What causes us to engage in these behaviours is a large topic in itself. However, if we look at the bigger picture, we can say that any sin is triggered by something. For example, the desire to sleep stops us from praying Fajr Salah, or a strained relation with spouse can trigger someone to look for comfort outside their marriage. There are many situations where we will feel tested and then tempted to do something that is beneath our potential.
Another concern is that the triggers often happen very fast; we may not even realize it, before we have done something. At other times, the temptations stay simmering within, until we give into them. These are both scenarios that are part of our innate human nature. So what do we do about it? Do we just give in? Indeed, our very challenge is to overcome these situations successfully. One way to combat these triggers, which urge us to sin, is to develop a strong sense of self-worth.
Self-worth is the belief that every human being has an innate value and deserves to be treated with respect because of this value. Imagine that you really value yourself, and you know that consuming Halal food is important. Would you give in on that? Probably not! So if we have a strong sense of self-worth, we will treat ourselves with respect and consciously avoid the things that we know will harm us. Our aim will be long-term care and not short-term gain. We will avoid behaviours that prevent us from reaching our best – we will avoid sins. Do keep in mind that this concept is not comparative; instead, it is inclusive. So let us look at how we can develop a greater sense of self-worth.
Note the Temptations
Awareness is the first step to change. You will need to note your biggest temptations if you are to beat them. Take a pen and a paper, and sit down at a time when things are quiet. Reflect on the last few times when you did something that you were not proud of. Perhaps it was losing your temper, missing prayer, or maybe lying. Think back to what tempted you to act this way. Now will be the time to be brutally honest and make a note of what your temptations are. These are the ‘triggers’ that push you towards doing these things.
Now, think about one or two practical ways for avoiding these triggers. If you can avoid the triggers, then you are less likely to behave in these negative ways. Stopping negative behaviour is a great boost to our sense of self.
Next, of course, comes adding in positive behaviours. Explore what you could do instead, if the trigger does get pushed. So if you are tired or had an argument with your spouse, what is the one behaviour you could resort to, instead of doing what you did before?
Note Positive Behaviours
We often avoid acknowledging our good actions; we may somehow feel that we’re being arrogant if we do so. Arrogance is when we compare ourselves to others and think that we are better than them. That is not what I am recommending here. Instead, this is about setting your own benchmark for growth. Start making a daily list of your own accomplishments and good actions. When will you have such a list on your hands, your sense of achievement and self-worth will begin to get stronger. Also, looking at the ways in which we positively contribute to others only encourages us to do more. Give this a go for thirty days, and you will find your sense of self-worth growing, Insha’Allah.
Take Consistent Action
Self-worth may be an intangible concept, but it is built with tangible action. For example, you can say that your health matters to you, but if you smoke, then you are showing that it does not. Take a moment and think about this question: “On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do I value myself?” Once you have given a number, then ask yourself: “How do I know this?” Think about the actions that show you how much you value yourself and others.
Now is the time to think about a few small actions that will help you increase your own self-worth. Perhaps it is about looking after your body, or maybe adding a spiritual practice in your life. Perhaps it is about actively giving your time to your community. Choose up to three small steps that you are willing to take for achieving this. Next, schedule these actions in your diary. Keep checking your progress on a monthly basis. Small, consistent steps can make a huge impact on how good you feel about yourself. The better you feel, the less likely you are to do things that leave you feeling disempowered or guilty.
Write a Gratitude Diary
What if you could always remember all the great things in your life? Even when times were hard, you always knew that you had it pretty good. That would encourage you to stay positive and do good things, wouldn’t it? Start the practice of a gratitude diary. Take five minutes at the end of every day to write down what you are grateful for in that day. It could be anything from a good cup of tea to a walk in the park. It does not matter how big or small – what matters is that it truly touches your heart. Start taking notice of your blessings – it works as an amazing antidote against doing things that would make you feel bad about yourself.
I hope that you will find these practical strategies helpful. We all struggle with temptations, but if we keep taking actions in the right direction, Insha’Allah, we will be able to overcome them and achieve our potential. My best wishes to you on this journey. May we all succeed and come closer to Allah (swt). Ameen.
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