The world over, Muslim societies are facing turbulence in family structures and norms. There is a persistent effort to normalize same-sex relations and gender dysmorphia. Pride parades, movies such as Joyland, transgender influencers, and talk shows that encourage taboo conversations are just some of the more visible efforts. A whole marketing campaign is targeted at such consumers (known as ‘pink or rainbow capitalism’), and the cute little rainbow and unicorn-themed stationery you buy for your children are part of this desensitization campaign.
As Shaikh Ubaydullah Evans succinctly said, the Muslim worldview is based on dignity in submission to Allah (swt), as opposed to the modern worldview of dignity being in an unencumbered chooser. We firmly believe that our choices have consequences in both this temporal world and the hereafter, so we have to act very thoughtfully.
We need to talk about this and address the issue head-on. Sexuality in humans is part of their ‘software’ – it is one of our discretionary, morality-based actions. Our desires are natural but, like anger, jealousy, or even petty theft, it is something we must harness and channel for not only our good but the greater good of society. Remember, our thoughts or secret desires do not make us a sinner – our actions do.
Ten Rulings on Homosexuality
When human nature has not changed over time, why should morals and ethics do? As Muslims, we have been given divinely ordained, clearly defined boundaries and moral laws, and we will be held accountable according to them, regardless of the day and age in which we struggle.
Our understanding of any issue is determined by the Quran, Sunnah, and consensus of scholars (Ijma). In light of these sources, Islam teaches us the following about adultery, same-sex relations, and transgenders:
- Any intimate relations outside of Nikah are Haram.
- Desires are not sinful in and of themselves, as we have been created to have them. They become sins only when we act on them in unlawful ways.
- Same-sex relations are unequivocally Haram.
- The one who acts upon such desires is sinful, but if one repents sincerely, then Allah (swt) grants His divine mercy.
- The one who does not act upon such desires is rewarded because it is a form of praiseworthy Jihad (struggle against one’s baser desires).
- The one who denies the prohibition of same-sex relations falls outside the fold of Islam.
- To celebrate or support what Allah (swt) has prohibited is a form of Fusooq (wicked deeds). It cannot be done in the name of social cohesion or political mobility.
- We cannot justify or support violence towards people based on their sexual orientation, lifestyle, or beliefs, but that should not be confused with making Halal what Allah (swt) has prohibited.
- We should make ourselves the best example of the prophetic way and be the best to our family at home, relatives, neighbours, colleagues, and society in general.
- We must anchor our understanding and interpretation with the Quran, Sunnah, and Ijma.
Addressing the Children and Youth
Children and youth, even in Muslim countries, face hyper-sexualization via provocative clothes marketed to them; the subliminal messages in advertising; the shows they watch; or the increasingly permissive culture in schools that allows them to ‘choose’ their preferences, without equipping them with religious knowledge that defines boundaries and responsibilities.
‘Experimentation’ and the ‘right to choose’ are touted without explaining the ramifications on their physical and spiritual health or the ways this unravels the fabric of family values.
Unfortunately, this leaves the youth confused and angst-ridden, as they find themselves unable to reconcile these ideas with their religious upbringing. Following are some helpful tips for resolving this issue.
- Recognize Their Struggle
Islam recognizes the baser human desires as natural. We know that Shaitan plays upon this weakness, inciting us to action. However, our emotions, feelings, and preferences are transient. With age and experience, our tastes, interests, and priorities change.
When you define yourself based on an attraction towards the same gender or you identify yourself more with the other gender, you are disempowering yourself. You deny yourself the ability to formulate your identity based on something within your control. It is in your power to refuse Shaitan’s whispers that spur you to sin. Your struggle is real, so allow yourself to grieve over the difficulties you face but look forward to the rewards in the hereafter. You are not condemned for your thoughts, as long as you do not act upon them. You are honoured for your struggle.
- Guide with Mercy and Grace
Articulate your position with prophetic mercy and grace. Do not dehumanize, humiliate, or alienate others. We are an Ummah of the middle course – we stand firm on the truth, without making Halal what Allah (swt) has expressly forbidden.
As Shaikh Ubaydullah said, we are to hate the sin, not the sinner. Otherwise, we lose the ability to guide our progeny in redeeming themselves through repentance. Identify them as those who repent, not as sinners.
Shaikh Omar narrated an incident of a sister who wanted to repent from same-sex relations, so she went for Umrah. But it took her a long time even to make Tawaf because she feared Allah (swt) would not accept her. Our job is to encourage the youth to think that Allah (swt) looks forward to their repentance.
- Converse and Field Questions
For this purpose, it is important to open conversations, be willing to accept questions, and include everyone in your Dawah. Shaikh Omar gives the example of a lesbian, who attended a lecture on Islam with her partner. She was not harassed or ostracized, and her interest in Islam grew to the point where she became a practising Muslim.
For her, the most difficult part was giving up on what she believed was her ‘orientation’. Yet, she did it because she internalized the truth of Allah’s (swt) promise that He will not burden a soul with more than it can bear – eternal reward acted as her motivation.
- Permanence is Only From Allah (swt)
Incorrect interpretations of the Quran allow people to justify their actions. For instance, as Shaikh Mustafa pointed out, there is the secular idea that if sexual relations are consensual, they are acceptable, because we are not hurting others. Such statements are in direct contradiction to the story of Lut (as), as presented in the Quran.
Till recently, homosexuality, adultery, premarital intimacy, and transgenderism were considered immoral acts in all societies. However, as the morals and standards in Western societies constantly change, we, as Muslims, find ourselves in need to assert our values, which are based on the permanence of divine guidance.
The Way Forward
As parents and educationists, we should come to terms with these new emerging worldly trends. Same-gender attraction has entered our households and society. Just like we would send a drug addict to a rehabilitation centre, such individuals also need to be counselled by experts and guided spiritually – especially those who feel trapped and ashamed of their indulgence.
As an Ummah, we must build a unified response to these challenges. We also need to delve deeper into the political and economic agendas supporting the dissemination of such ideas. A strong, peaceful society arises from stable families, where gender roles and responsibilities are clearly defined.
Based on a Webinar by Shaikh Omar Suleiman, Sister Sarah Sultan, Shaikh Ubaydullah Evans, and Shaikh Mustafa Umar.
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