Lessons from Ali (rta) and Fatima’s (rta) Marriage

By

Sadaf Azhar – Sub Editor Hiba magazine

The Prophet (sa) chose Ali (rta) for his most beloved daughter Fatima (rta) and prayed for this blessed union. Ali (rta) and Fatima (rta) were blessed with mutual love and understanding. They had five children together, with one son dying at birth.

Startling Facts

• By the time of Hijrah, Ali (rta) was too old to live in the house of the Prophet (sa) so he had paired him off with Sahl ibn Hunaif (rta). All the single men lived in the house of Kulthum bin al Hadam (rta) in Quba.
• After the Battle of Badr, Abu Bakr (rta) and Omar (rta) both asked for Fatima’s (rta) hand one after the other, but the Prophet (sa) refused saying she’s young. It meant he had someone else in mind for her.
• Ali (rta) wanted to approach the Prophet (sa) but he was hesitant after he heard of the refusals and because he was too poor to offer the bridal gift. However, some of his relatives, particularly an old female servant, Abu Bakr (rta) and Saad bin Muaadh (rta) encouraged him to ask for Fatima’s (rta) hand.
• Finally, he gathered the courage to approach the Prophet (sa) but he was so nervous that the Prophet (sa) himself asked him whether he had come to propose to Fatima (rta)! One of the most eloquent Companions, Ali (rta) answered incoherently and the Prophet (sa) solved his dilemma regarding the Mahr by suggesting that he sell his shield.
• The Prophet (sa) asked Fatima (rta) for her consent. She was overcome with shyness and couldn’t say anything but he ensured she had no objections. He discussed the arrangements with her, which shows that women should be consulted in matters regarding their own marriage.
• Fatima (rta) was 16, and Ali (rta) was 23 years old when they were married. Uthman (rta) said it was the best wedding he saw. The wedding meal was simple – dates, date paste and barley. The Prophet (sa) sent Anas (rta) to call Omar (rta), Uthman (rta) and some of the Ansar to witness the wedding.
• Ali (rta) was sent home by the Prophet (sa) and told to wait for him. Umm Ayman (rta) brought Fatima (rta) to his house and they waited nervously for the Prophet (sa) who made Wudu from the water in their house, and then poured the water on them, making Dua for Barakah for them and then left.
• Initially their home was far away from the Prophet’s (sa) dwellings. Hartitha bin An Noman (rta), who owned the lands near the Masjid, realized that the Prophet (sa) missed his daughter so he gifted the land for her. Thus, Fatima’s (rta) house was built close to the Prophet (sa) with the windows of Ayesha (rta) and Fatima (rta) facing each other.
• Despite their poverty, they were generous. Some scholars said that verses 8 and 9 of Surah Insaan were revealed when they gave the only loaf of bread they had for themselves to a needy family. They bore grinding poverty and were often exhausted by their physical hardship.
• The Prophet (sa) was very close to this family and once he enclosed them all in his cloak as a display of affection. He would often visit them and ask Fatima (rta) to bring ‘his sons’ and would hug them. The Prophet (sa) told us to love Allah (swt) for the blessings He nourishes us with. To love the Prophet (sa) due to the love of Allah (swt), and to love his family because of our love for him and his love for them.
• Ali (rta) received a proposal to marry the daughter of Abu Jahl so that the two clans of Makhzum and Haashim could forget past grievances. Fatima (rta) was upset and so was the Prophet (sa) but he said that he could not forbid something that was made legal by Allah (swt). However, what hurt Fatima (rta), hurt him. Also, it was not befitting for someone to be married to the daughter of the Messenger of Allah (sa) and the daughter of his enemy, the Pharoah of Makkah. Ali (rta) did not pursue the proposal.
• She died merely six months after the beloved Prophet (sa), Ali (rta) was devastated. He later said that nothing exhausted him so much as losing the two most beloved people to him in such a short time. The poem he recited on her grave after burial reflects his intense pain.

Points to ponder

• Ali (rta) expected only 4 Dirhams for his shield, but Uthman (rta) saw him trying to sell it and offered 400 Dirhams for it instead. It was Uthman’s (rta) way of helping out. He then returned the shield to Ali (rta) saying it was a wedding gift. When Ali (rta) told the Prophet (sa) about this incident, the Prophet (sa) made Dua for Uthman (rta), praising him as the most generous of sons in law. So we should help out our relatives generously in a way that does not hurt their dignity.
• The Prophet (sa) involved his Companions in preparing for Fatima’s (rta) wedding. He asked Ali (rta) to use two thirds of is money to buy some perfume which Bilal (rta) helped him select, and the rest he used to buy some furniture with Umm Salamah (rta) guiding him.
• The Prophet (sa) gave Abu Bakr (rta) some money to buy some clothes for Ali (rta) and Fatima (rta) and he asked Ammar ibn Yasir (rta) to make preparations for the wedding, and made Dua for Barakah in the things bought.
• Ayesha (rta) and Umm Salamah (rta) were charged with preparing the home of the newlyweds so they brought some mud and made it into cushions covered with cloth, placed some dates and water, put up a wood for hanging clothes and the water bag.
• The Prophet (sa) made a bed using palm leaves, wood and leather himself that served as their bed at night and couch during the day- they even fed their animals off it. He also left a pot and grinding stone for grains.
• Fatima (rta) joked with the Prophet (sa) claiming that he married her to ‘the man with the big stomach’. Ali (rta) was very well built, with a large stomach and huge biceps. The Prophet (sa) laughed and gently reminded her that Ali (rta) was the first of his Companions to embrace Islam, had great knowledge and was most forbearing. Therefore, while physical attraction is one of the criteria of marriage, for a sustainable marriage you need a God fearing, wise and good natured companion.
• The Prophet (sa) would knock on their door in the middle of the night for the night prayer. One night, he tried to wake them but they didn’t respond. He questioned Ali (rta) in the morning who replied: ‘If Allah (swt) had wanted, He would have returned our souls to us’. The Prophet (sa) walked away remarking that human beings are always argumentative! This shows that they had a loving and easy-going relationship with the Prophet (sa).
• Like all couples, they had their share of disagreements. One night, the Messenger (sa) visited them and found Fatima (rta) upset, so he asked her where her cousin was. She told him that since they had had a fight, he left to sleep in the Masjid.
• The Prophet (sa) went to Ali who was sleeping on the dusty ground. He woke him up by dusting him, putting his shirt on him, and addressed him as Abu Turab (Father of Dust). He gently asked him to get up and go back to his wife. Ali (rta) laughed and did so. Note that the Messenger (sa) took no sides nor did he ask why they disagreed, but humorously encouraged them to get together again.
• Ali (rta) recited love poetry for her that made her feel treasured. They would also joke and laugh together, teasing each other. Fatima (rta) would tease Ali (rta) about being older than him. Ali (rta) would also recite funny poems to make her laugh.

They were truly partners of paradise.

(Based on Omar Suleiman’s Series of Firsts)