Anila Omer is Coordinator Psychology Department and Guidance Counsellor. She holds an M.Sc. in Research Methods and Psychological Assessment from University of Surrey
How were you inspired to become a psychologist, as it was not a very obvious career choice two decades ago?
My psychology teacher Madam Mohadesa at DHA College made me fall in love with this subject. Part of me always wanted to work in a clinical setting, so psychology was a field which combined the two. Little did I know that with the passing of time, stress, negativity and rapid pace of life will create a very high demand for psychologists not just in Pakistan but also globally.
Has this facilitated you in your personal life as a wife and mother? If yes, then will you recommend girls to pursue this career?
As mothers, we have the responsibility of raising future generations. Psychology teaches us to understand the needs and subtleties of behaviour, be empathetic to others, and show compassion to people, irrespective of their background. We also learn when to listen, when to intervene, and how to communicate without making the other person defensive.
Many would think that this is what we all know and apply; however, when this is part of your training, then one consciously applies them. Hence, I can say that psychology has immensely helped me at a personal level, but it was incomplete without the knowledge of the Sunnah and how our beloved Prophet (sa) dealt with his spouses, loved ones, and companions. We have to keep in mind the role of a spouse as described in Quran – being a source of peace and Sakeenah.
I highly recommend girls and boys to take up psychology as a career option, for it will help them personally as well as professionally.
Which top three qualities must a psychologist have in order to succeed?
Listening, empathy, and unconditional positive regard, not just as building blocks of humanistic psychology, which was put forth in the last century, but also according to what our Prophet (sa) practiced.
Family life has become more complex with evolving roles of spouses and more women opting for career pursuits. What do you believe are the core reasons for family problems today?
Problems arise when people do not understand the demands of their roles and have poor communication skills. This is further complicated when professionals do not take out adequate time for their children and spouses. Being career oriented does not mean that we let go of our primary responsibilities. So one needs to be organised, should know how to prioritise, and ensure that the family members feel they are attended to.
You have counselled teenagers for a long time. What is your analysis of the root causes of their stress?
Careless attitude, sense of ownership, and wish for instant gratification have made today’s youth impatient and thus susceptible to stress. They run away from hard work and crack under pressure. This becomes more problematic when parents communicate with their children in discouraging ways and resort to sarcasm to get their point across. All these factors also contribute toward making youth seek avenues, which are unhealthy, dangerous, and self-defeating. Often, youth indulge in behaviours that help them remain in denial, as they are not prepared to face reality.
How receptive are your clients to the therapy or remedy you suggest to them?
Like in all health related fields, clients range from ignorant to well-informed, adherent to non-compliant as well as those who even today feel that going to a mental health professional is a taboo and can be extremely secretive about it. However, once in therapy, they benefit from it and wish they could have started earlier.
Is it true that people who are not very practicing in their religion undergo more frequent spells of depression?
Depression occurs due to multitude of reasons, ranging from family history of depression, life changes, such as passing away of a loved one, and sometimes because of medical conditions, such as chronic illnesses. How a person views life and its highs and lows plays an important role in treating such condition. Religion gives us hope, and depression clearly diminishes with our connection to our Lord. However, ritualistic practice of religion is different from having complete trust and leaving our affairs to Allah (swt). Hence, our belief system can act as a strong moderator to improve our condition.
Would you like to share any case story that helped you grow as a person and gave you inner strength?
The story of Bilal Ibn Rabah (rtam) and Ummul-Mumineen Khadijah’s (rtaf) unconditional support to Prophet (sa) continue to inspire and give strength. They remind me that when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
Ms. Anila Omer’s Contact (for text-based communication only): 0301-8255507
Hiba is grateful to Ms. Anila Omer for her time and insightful responses.