Indicators of a Bad Relationship
Work is More Important
How do the families of today differ from those of yesteryears? One obvious difference is that work had a designated time that did not take over family life. This permitted the families to spend quality time together. It included not only nuclear families but also neighbours and extended families. Most time was spent indoors with very little materials and distractions (no media and screens). People talked, imparted life values, told stories, exchanged ideas, taught skills, and communicated. In the Islamic paradigm, human interaction has always been of a higher significance than jobs and careers, because that is what builds characters, homes and nations.
We learnt that as a principle: family excellence must precede social excellence. When our careers rob our loved ones of the time that we owe to them, relationships start to turn sour. And the most blatant lie ever uttered in history of humankind is: “I am doing it for them so we can have a better standard of living.” In reality, we love it too, and the desire for more money only goes up. Thus, independence, public acclaim and freedom to spend come at the cost of sacrificing the time we spend with our loved ones.
There must be an off time when we spend relaxed hours only with the family or attend to their concerns with nothing simmering on the back burner. This initially has to be done by force, as most of us are used to either jumping from one task to another or wasting our time on useless activities, such as gluing to the phone screen, even while sitting among people.
Family needs are more important than housekeeping, pursuit of education, office tasks, guests and social media. We have to maintain a balanced day that does not tip into any one pre-dominant direction, neglecting others.
A badly managed day is one which does not have:
- Free moments,
- Time for personal reflection,
- Time for planning,
- Connection to the purpose of your life,
- Time to unwind, which results in our day ending with all energy, nourishment and fuel gone.
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