“And I did not create the jinn and humankind except to worship Me.” (Adh-Dhariyat, 51:56) As evident from this Ayah, the purpose of our existence is to worship the Creator. Each act of virtue done with good faith is worship.
Husband’s Responsibilities
In Islamic legal tradition, Qawamah implies the responsibilities entrusted to men over women – to take care of them and guide them in the best possible way.
Allah (swt) says: “But men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]” (Al-Baqarah, 2:228) and “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.” (An-Nisa, 4:34)
Men should play an active role in the life of their household women – show their constant commitment and support towards them. Men, in general, are Qawwam for women, may it be their wife, daughter, mother, and so on. There is no choice but to fulfill the responsibilities entrusted to them by Allah (swt).
Wife’s Responsibilities
While the husband is obligated to be the maintainer, provider, and caretaker of the wife, the wife also has certain duties to safeguard the family.
“And the woman is the guardian of her husband’s house and is responsible for it.” (Bukhari)
In response to Fatima’s (rtaf) and Ali’s (rtam) complaint, the ideal family model was provided by the Prophet (sa) 1400 years ago, when he entrusted the internal duties to his daughter Fatima (rtaf) and external chores to son-in-law Ali (rtam).
As quite evident from the religious teachings, the wife is not financially obligated to her husband, children, or maintenance of the household. However, the wife, within her capacity, can help her husband financially, if needed. A woman’s top priority should not be earning; however, she can help and support her husband in trying times.
“They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.” (Al-Baqarah, 2:187) Both spouses are required to cover up each other’s shortcomings and fill in the gaps if any. For instance, if the husband is unable to earn or requires financial assistance, the wife can, as an act of kindness, help her husband, without posting details on social media.
Let us take a look at some steps that a woman should take if she wishes to take up a job or a career.
1. Seeking permission from the husband. The wife should consult her husband, before taking up a job or a career because mutual decisions will prevent disagreements later. Men are the protectors of their wives, so they must ensure their safety and well-being. They may be able to advise on aspects of a job or a career, to enable the wife to make the wisest choice.
2. Prioritizing obligations. Having a job should not affect the wife’s duty of upbringing children. She can either find a job with limited working hours, can prefer to work from home, or possibly arrange a helping hand to care for children in her absence. However, if her job still disrupts family life, the woman can choose to focus on the upbringing of children and stay at home. Later, as the children grow up, she may opt to continue with her career.
After marrying the Prophet (sa), Khadija (rtaf) withdrew from her business and donated her possessions to the needy. Despite belonging to an affluent family and growing up in luxury, after marriage, Khadijah (rtaf) would herself ensure the provision of food and attended to the Prophet (sa) in Cave Hira. Khadijah (rtaf) would also support and assist her husband in performing his spiritual duties. The richest woman in Makkah sacrificed all her wealth for the cause of Islam and the support of her husband.
After Muhammad (sa) received prophethood, Khadija (rtaf) spent her entire fortune on his mission, never once asking for anything in return as a favour or expressing her great sacrifice and deeds for him. She remained humble, passionate, and empathetic towards him until death.
3. Ensuring marital peace. Allah (swt) has granted a high sense of Gheerah to men that enables them to protect, care for, and even fight for their women. The husband’s ability to earn and feed his family is attached to it. He may feel distressed, when his wife criticizes him for a low income, flaunting her high salary or wealthy financial status she had before marriage.
Even though a husband is obligated to earn, the wife must always acknowledge his responsibility and make him feel valuable. Abu Hurairah (rtam) has narrated that the Prophet (sa) said: “He who does not thank the people is not thankful to Allah (swt).” (Abu Dawud)
4. Providing Support. The Prophet (sa) said: “By Allah, I do not have better than Khadijah (rtaf). She believed in me when others were steeped into infidelity. She testified to my truth when others rejected my claim. She helped me with her wealth when others deprived me. And Allah gave me children by her.” (Bukhari)
Despite the economic disparity, their marriage was a successful one. Khadija (rtaf) was her husband’s helper, supporter, and assistant, who helped him bear the responsibility of prophethood. When the Prophet (sa) became overwhelmed after the first revelation and asked Khadija (rtaf) to cover him up with a blanket, she comforted and encouraged her husband.
Being the slave of Allah (swt), one has to fulfill the entrusted duties first. Given that the wife achieves a balance between her home and work duties, she may earn. Under any circumstances, we must not forget our ultimate purpose in life. Wealth is a worldly possession that will not earn a reward; however, one’s fulfillment of duties and submission to Allah (swt) will.
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