(What I learnt from an inspiring, noble and God-fearing mentor and supporter of Hiba. A former teacher, grandmother, and current student of Hifz.)
In times, where it is easy to be swept off your feet and lose your way, I often seek the counsel of the wise. I truly love to listen to their tales of courage and how they cruised ahead by overcoming unimaginable obstacles. I always pray to Allah (swt) to grant me the companionship of those whom He loves.
It is vital to have mentors. Why? Because these people help you connect to your inner power that Allah (swt) has granted, which we sometimes fail to recognize within us. They help us visualize the seed we all are, waiting to become a tall, dense, shady and fruit-bearing tree one day. Their remarkable strife and journey propels us to jut forward, too.
I would like to share some gems of wisdom with you that I found profound for myself.
Aging is about empowering yourself to keep your eyes on the goal. And what is that? To meet Allah (swt) with Qalbun Saleem – a sound heart that humbles before its Creator in awe, praise, love and fear.
By no means does aging mean to feel inadequate, sad, angry, regretful, and disappointed with others and self. And here are a few priceless tips for those who want to age gracefully, bearing the end in mind:
- Offer gratitude to Allah (swt) for the bonus time He generously allotted, considering that many of our loved ones could not even live as long as we have.
- A believer is extremely cautious about his time. Organize yourself and plan your day keeping in mind your investment for the Hereafter. None of your pastimes should be time-wasters.
- Supplicate to Allah (swt) to grant you wisdom as you gradually age – it is important to leave behind a noble legacy.
- Appreciate the process of aging as a new season in life. Do not resist it, fear it or behave towards it with repulsion. Colour dyes and trendy clothes cannot help us compete with the young.
- Shift the household responsibilities and accounts to the young in the house, be it your daughter or daughter-in-law. Trust their decisions. If they falter, allow space and accept imperfection.
- In order to stay out of the petty family issues leading to arguments, nurture a new hobby or go back to an old talent, such as stitching, knitting, gardening, teaching Quran to a maid, and so on.
- Learn to become flexible, instead of being rigid and rude, in order to make way in the hearts of your family.
- Allow your daughter or daughter-in-law to learn Deen, if she wants to, by facilitating the home affairs.
- Join a suitable Islamic study circle for constant and continuous enlightenment and befriending rightly guided people.
- Use your cell phone only to communicate with family and friends as per need. Try to stay away from numerous non-beneficial apps that eat away precious time, without us realizing it.
- Spend time with your grandchildren by playing board games, helping them with their homework or cooking some goodies they love. Refrain from criticism.
- Morning and evening walks in the fresh air are important as they prevent many ailments. They are also a chance to experience nature and develop a divine connection with the Creator.
- Ensure that your times of waking in the morning and going to sleep at night are followed consistently. It is easy to get distracted by the media and the night life.
- It is a Sunnah of the Prophet (sa) to write your will, if you own anything. Not three nights should pass by without the will being documented. This elevates the dead person’s spiritual level and rules out any confusion among the inheritors left behind.
- If you have already documented your will and it needs to be changed, it can be done in the presence of witnesses. A copy of each will should be with your inheritor for his or her knowledge.
- In case of a widow, the prescribed period of Iddat of four months and ten days must be observed. This is not just a time of mourning for your loved partner but also a mode for worshipping Allah (swt).
- If your health permits you to offer extra worship besides the obligatory Fard, go for it. Extra is always good.
- Ask Allah (swt): “O Allah! Expand your Rizq for me in my old age and until I die.” (Al-Hakim)
اللهمَّ اجعَلْ أوسعَ رِزقِك عليَّ عندَ كِبَرِ سِنِّي ، و انقطاعِ عُمْري
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