- Keep your energy level boosted.
Breastfeeding, sleepless nights, unexpected visitors, home chores, and tending to older kids’ needs is undoubtedly taxing. This might not be a very suitable time to crash diet or dream of fitting back into your wedding gown. Please eat nutritious home-cooked food, fruits, nuts, vegetables, and energy-boosting snacks. Keep them handy in your bedroom. An already fatigued mind and body cannot afford to starve. The outcome is frequent ailments, horrible mood swings, and strained relationships. Later, as you mature from being a new mommy to a veteran, you will manage your diet more effectively and shed the extra pounds, too.
- Let the Iman thrive.
A new mother has a myriad of emotions bottled up. They can whip up a storm of tears. At other times, they may send her on a guilt trip. The changing body and volatile hormones are no help either. And, of course, Shaitan strikes with full force seeding evil and negative thoughts about everyone and everything you care for. The best remedy is to play Surah Al-Baqarah daily. Keep your tongue moist with Allah’s (swt) Dhikr. Watch and listen to Islamic videos and talks for spiritual uplift. Recite to your baby, as the child is listening. After Nifas (post-partum bleeding), return to your prayers regularly. Read at least one page of Quran daily with its translation. Only Allah (swt) knows, listens to, and understands what a mother braves.
- Do not worry about a schedule or mess.
The only schedule you need to keep is that of your older kids’ school or the hired help coming to assist you. Otherwise, it is best to sleep along when your baby sleeps to catch up on your lost night slumber. Try to give time to your spouse when he arrives from work, in case you are unable to wake up to bid him off for work in the morning. Prepare or semi-prepare his breakfast and tiffin the night before or when you are awake at night with your baby – something he can manage to warm or semi-prepare by himself, such as a sandwich. Keep minimum furnishings around the house, so that it is easy to clean and you don’t feel guilty about a cluttered home.
- Don’t forget to ask for help.
The first thing is to empower your baby. Even though it is adorable and seems to be the most beautiful being in the world, it is a monstrous idea to keep it cuddled up in your lap. If a baby is fed, clean, and healthy, it will happily stay in its cot or bouncer. Aim for that, so you can work your way around the house, while your baby peacefully entertains itself. Next, do not enroll yourself for the super mommy contest, where you decide to continue with all your previous responsibilities along with the new ones. Prioritize and leave the rest aside. Cleaning (possibly cooking, too) can be assigned to maids. Babysitting and pick and drops of older kids to and from school can be managed by grandparents and fathers. Some days you can juggle with them to offer relief. But let the family know that you need their support now. Thank them every day for it, as it is not easy for them, too.
- Let your spouse know when you feel overwhelmed.
Just because you have delivered a baby, it doesn’t mean so has your husband. Many times wives over-expect their spouses to read their minds and understand their feelings without talking to them. That is unfair. Your husband can better understand if you clearly communicate to him what your present or new needs are. And then since you are not able to give him his due share of time, appreciate whatever he does for you and make little gestures of tenderness known to him. It can be a card, a favourite quick meal he likes, a romantic dialogue, or any treat that thrills him. While you are a hormone wreck, he is a bundle of nerves too.
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