Controlling the choice of words is one of the first pre-requisites of a being a Momin.
Words can make or break someone’s day. They could help a friendship grow, or they could end it. Words could bring us the blessings and favours of Allah (swt) or they could result in Allah’s (swt) anger. Words are our worst foes or best friends!
In the Quran, Allah (swt) commands us: “and speak good to people…” (Al-Baqarah 2:83)
Ahadeeth of the Prophet (sa) tell us that our tongue could either take us to heaven or land us in hell.
There are some things to bear in mind when conversing. Let us make a checklist.
- Do I talk politely?
- Do I smile as I talk?
- Do I give attention to the person I am talking to, that is do I have eye contact or do I look away?
- Do I refrain from abusive language, sarcasm and nasty remarks?
- Do I avoid lying?
- Do I realize that lying is one of the foremost signs of a hypocrite?
- Do I guard secrets of my friends as an Amanah, or does my tongue give them away?
- Do I yell and shout?
- Is my voice calm, peaceful and soothing to listen to? Or is it monotonous, high-pitched, shrill and annoying?
- Do I backbite? Do I realize that backbiting is a grievous sin in Allah’s (swt) eyes?
- Do I make fun of others with my remarks?
- Do I give genuine compliments and encouragement to others?
- Is my accent artificial and an attempt to impress others?
- Do I brag and boast?
- Do I sound humble? Or do I sound arrogant?
- Do I talk to others with empathy, understanding and affection?
- Do I complain too much?
- Am I impatient when others talk?
- Do I cut into other people’s conversation with my words?
- Do I impose my opinions on others?
- Do I lie and make up jokes and exaggerate to be popular among my friends?
- Do I love delving into juicy gossip and talking about scandals which I actually know nothing about?
- Do I talk about things that are useless and don’t concern me at all?
- Do I use my words to enjoin good and forbid evil?
- Above all, do I use my power of speech to do Dhikr (remembrance) of Allah (swt) and recite the Quran?