Let’s Keep it Halal!
By Ayeshah Omer Mateen
Having feelings for the opposite gender or developing crushes is absolutely normal. In fact, it is healthy, as one knows that they’re attracted to the right gender. Nowadays, with the rise of homosexuality, being attracted to the opposite gender is considered as a blessing. You will have feelings for the other gender, but it is how you control your emotions that will determine your strength and willpower.
When you have a crush, you should know what blazes the fire and what helps extinguish it. The most important thing to do is lower your gaze. As cliched as it might sound, controlling your eyes can control your heart. No matter if they are there in person or are in some pictures; look away. Do not stalk them on social media! When you get the guts to stalk them. then you follow them, then you message them, and then it is too late to retrieve. Do not talk about them to everyone. Verbalizing your feelings only to the right person, such as parents or a professional helper, may be constructive and helpful. Get yourself busy, focus on your studies, learn a new skill, join a class, play a new sport, divert your mind. Being idle is the cause. Also one must know that crushes are temporary! If that’s not the case and if one can’t control their feelings, make a contract with yourself; every time you see them read two Nafil or every time they come to your mind recite Quran. The best way to suppress such feelings is to fast, as suggested in Islam.
Set Your Goals Right!
Also set your goals right. Don’t go falling in love with every other person you come across. You’re too precious to be abused for someone else’s pleasure. Know your worth, know that our goal as Muslims is not dating, rather a marriage and for that we want religious, family oriented people. There’s no harm to want someone good-looking or rich, but you need to know your priorities. If you really like someone and want to marry them, talk to you parents. Involving adults always helps and if you can tell your parents or elders about them, it is a sign that you are serious about them and that they are the right kind of people. Parents should create an environment where kids could share with them everything, without the fear of being judged or scolded.
Dua can do wonders. Ask Allah for the best partner, ask Allah to help control these feelings. Talk to Him about everything! At night, when you’re lying in bed, talk to him. You don’t even need to utter a word; silently communicate and He’ll hear you, even before that notion crosses your mind. Remember, crushes can’t give us peace or true happiness only Allah’s Zikr can.