She was the daughter of Qais ibn Saad and the wife of Abu Ayyub Ansari (ra). Both the husband and the wife are among those blessed people about whom Allah (swt) said,
“And the first to embrace Islam of the Muhajirun (those who migrated from Makkah to Al-Madinah) and the Ansar (the citizens of Al-Madinah who helped and gave aid to the Muhajirun) and also those who followed them exactly (in Faith). Allah is well-pleased with them as they are well-pleased with Him. He has prepared for them Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise), to dwell therein forever. That is the supreme success,” (9: 100).
Conversion to Islam
Umm Ayyub (ra) woke up one morning and saw her husband all dressed to set out on a journey. When she asked him where he was going, he replied that he was off to Makkah to witness the prophet who had brought a new religion to the people.
Umm Ayyub (ra) said farewell to her husband and secretly desired in her heart that this prophet could bring peace between the tribes of Aws and Khazraj. She prayed that he turns out to be an ambassador of goodness and a source of reformation. And that he could pull out the seed of hatred and enmity from the hearts of the two tribes and put an end to the treachery of the Madinian Jews. She also prayed for her husband’s well-being and that he returns safely.
The long separation from her husband made her anxious. She worried about him and waited impatiently for his arrival. After several days, she heard a knock on her door. She knew it was her husband because she identified his knock. She was delighted to see Abu Ayyub (ra), but also wanted him to rest before she could shower him with her questions and anxiety. Abu Ayyub (ra), on the other hand, desired narrating to his wife all the events of his journey. He did not find it appropriate to hold the news about the beloved Prophet (sa) from her.
He informed her how the Prophet (sa) captivated their hearts by his mannerism and speech. He explained to them the Shari commandments of Allah (swt) and gained their confidence through his way of talking. Witnessing all this, they could not help but accept him as the Messenger of Allah (swt) and embraced Islam.
Abu Ayyub (ra) had not completed narrating his experience that Umm Ayyub (ra) instantly recited the Shahadah. She had lived many moments of joy and happiness with Abu Ayyub (ra). She valued his opinion and trusted his intellect. She knew the path that her husband had chosen was the best.
Lessons to draw: We see a loving relationship between the husband and wife. Both of them wished well for the other spouse. When the people in a house or an organisation are respectful to each other and desire one another’s well-being, Allah (swt) too blesses such a house or organisation. On the other hand, when people are busy maligning one another or in a cut throat competition against each other, Allah (swt) too withdraws His mercy from them. We see that when Abu Ayyub (ra) leaves for Makkah Umm Ayyub (ra) does not try to stop him, cry or think bad. Rather, she bids him farewell and makes a supplication for her husband’s success and the well-being of her people. She does not act selfishly. She did not think about only herself or her loneliness but for the community at large. Usually at home, families are fighting among one another either over the relatives or financial matters. If everyone looked at the situation positively our home environments can improve considerably, in sha Allah.
Another important point to improve our lives is to reflect on what we have and not what we lack. For example, it might be that a child is raised in a toxic environment. Her parents are always fighting and are neglectful of their duties towards their children. Allah (swt) rewards this girl with a caring husband. Similarly, it could be that a husband is harsh and non-cooperative, but the children are extremely peaceful and supportive. In comparing our lives with other people, their parents or their husbands, we forget what Allah (swt) has blessed us with. May Allah (swt) grant us the ability to do shukr, ameen.
(Adapted from the book: Seerat e Sahabiyat k Darakshan Pehlu by and the lectures of Dr. Farhat Hashmi: Seerat e Sahabiyat)