Newly-wed? Thrive to Survive!

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Wardah Amin

A student and staff member of Al Huda institute.

Latest posts by Wardah Amin (see all)

Vol 5 - Issue 4 A wedding to rememberIt is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created from him his wife (Hawwa), in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her. When he had sexual relation with her, she became pregnant and she carried it about lightly. Then when it became heavy, they both invoked Allah, their Lord (saying): If You give us a Salih (good in every aspect) child, we shall indeed be among the grateful.” (Al-Araf 7:189)

Allah (swt) has created men and women to worship Him; but besides this, Allah (swt) has created this Dunya as a test for us. Allah (swt) has established a really beautiful bonding between the husband and wife. Allah (swt) states in the Quran, “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” (Ar-Rum 30:21)

It is quite clear that husband and wife are a source of peace and comfort for each other. When two souls meet, they might have differences- different nature and different life style.

Hence, it is quite necessary for a newly wedded couple to spend some time with each other, and try to understand each other very well. Honeymoon period is quite necessary for a healthy beginning of a married life. It helps to develop the feeling of love and care for each other. Both, husband and wife, should understand each other’s nature, likes and dislikes, and should deal with each other accordingly. They should expect less from each other and should focus more on giving.

Tips for the wives

  • They should try to maintain good relations with their in-laws, and should not complain about them to their husband.
  • They should get ready for their husbands i.e. wear good clothes, makeup and perfume, under the limits described by Allah (swt); although it might sound typical, but it really makes husbands feel happy and special.
  • They should understand their husband’s mood and concern, and should deal accordingly.
    They should make food of their husband’s choice- as it is said that the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach.
  • They should welcome their husbands with a smile.
  • They should protect their husband’s honour in their absence.

Tips for the husbands

  • They should praise and appreciate their wives’ efforts.
  • Their wives deserve love and care- as they are very sensitive and emotional; and also, they have left their parents and their loved ones for them.

Anas ibn Malik narrated that, a Sahabi named Anjeshe was leading the camels that were carrying the Prophet’s (sa) wives on the way back from the last pilgrimage. He was making the camels run with the rhythmic songs that he sang with his beautiful voice. The Prophet (sa) told him:

“O Anjeshe, ride slowly, do not break the crystals” (Darimi, Istizan)

  • Outings, long drives and shopping for their wives is equally important.
  • Taking their wives to meet her parents as well as respecting them, would make wives happy.

Thus, the conclusion is that marriage can’t be successful without the PTC tool i.e. Patience, Tolerance and Compromise.

And, don’t forget to make this Dua: “And those who say: Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun” (Al-Furqan 25:74)

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