The ones we love most also cause us the most pain. They frustrate us, disappoint us, and sometimes even shock us beyond words. But does that mean that we break away and abandon them? No. Relationships are not a theme park ride that we stay on until they excite us and from which we hop off when they get boring, predictable, or painful.
Relationships are very much a living thing. They can be turned around when strained and bitter. They need daily care and nurturing. Otherwise, they can dull or die. And those who consistently, lovingly, and patiently tend to it are always rewarded with a delectable fruit in time. The key is to do the right thing, wait and watch with trust in Allah (swt), and belief in yourself.
Ironically, in the age of technology and information explosion, we need to realize that some things still cannot be fixed by machines and mechanisms. They will require a heart, a soul, and firm resolve to improve lives and the world around them. Relationships are one of them.
The Five Dimensions of Relationships
- With the Creator
“And [mention] when your Lord took from the children of Adam – from their loins – their descendants and made them testify of themselves [saying to them]: Am I not your Lord? They said: Yes, we have testified. [This] – lest you should say on the Day of Resurrection: Indeed, we were of this unaware.” (Al-Araf 7:172)
Simply put, our journey began from Allah (swt) and will end with Allah (swt), the Ever-Living. This is our very first relationship, which is special unlike any other. He is our Rabb (Master, Provider, Owner, Protector, Guide, Forgiver, Caregiver, etc.) and we are His slaves. Our mission in this world is to recognize Him, worship Him, obey Him, and love Him.
Anyone who has been granted the Taufeeq to develop this divine connection has never failed in any other relationships. This is because such people understand that this world is imperfect and so are the people living in it. It is temporary and so are the trials in it. Whenever a Momin experiences joy and success, he runs to Allah (swt); and when he faces failure and tribulations, he still runs to Allah (swt). In both cases, he finds peace, contentment, determination, and direction to go forward and do the right thing.
This relationship with the Lord can only be paved through the clear and correct understanding of Allah’s (swt) Divine Book, the Quran, through which Allah (swt) speaks to us. Ask yourself, how clear are you about its reality and how deeply has it shaped your belief in Him?
A Momin is very alert and sensitive to his surroundings. He draws all his commandments for the worldly life from the Quran and the Sunnah only. Prevailing trends and changing standards do not influence him, because he understands that public opinions and benchmarks are fickle.
Taqwa (consciousness of Allah [swt]) is his fuel. A Momin realizes that Allah (swt) is watching him; hence, he guards himself against disobedience and sins. His next aim is to become a Mohsin – a believer who honours Allah’s (swt) watch over him by performing with excellence. This attitude of Ihsan ensures that the believer never usurps anyone else’s rights, always takes ownership of his actions, and doesn’t act like a martyr, since he practices Sabr and Shukr in the face of trials.
This is an excerpt, and there’s more in the magazine – buy the print issue from our online store