Are you in Control?

Vol 4-Issue 1 Are you in ControlChildren retort back at their parents disrespectfully. Friends argue and insult each other over trivial matters. Drivers gesture and abuse other drivers for imagined or real traffic goof-ups. Scenarios, similar or worse, are repeated in private and public places every day. Why is it that we are often unable to control our anger, while our beloved Prophet (sa) kept calm in times of personal injury or disrespect?

Narrated by Anas bin Malik (rta): “While I was walking with the Prophet, who was wearing a Najrani outer garment with a thick hem, a Bedouin came upon the Prophet and pulled his garment so violently that I could recognize the impress of the hem of the garment on his shoulder, caused by the violence of his pull. Then, the Bedouin said: ‘Order for me something from Allah’s fortune, which you have.’ The Prophet turned to him, smiled, and ordered that a gift be given to him.” (Bukhari)

We flare up at the slightest affront. Are we so preoccupied with our own self-worth that we cannot overlook personal inconvenience or harm, while being totally indifferent to any disobedience of Allah’s (swt) commands?

Our anger is focused on serving only our own petty purposes. In contrast is the way of Ali (rta), who during a fight was sitting on top of a disbeliever and was about to strike him dead, when the disbeliever spat in his face. Ali (rta) immediately stood up and spared him. When the perplexed man asked Ali (rta) for the reason, Ali (rta) replied that since he had no personal animosity towards him, had he killed him in a moment of anger for his spitting, he would have killed him to settle a personal score.

For learning to manage our anger, let’s first see, what anger is.

What is Anger?

According to psychologists, it is a natural emotion. Dr. Raymond Lloyd Richmond calls it “the wish for harm or bad or evil to come upon someone, who – in your eyes – has injured you.”

Anger is an evil whisper of Shaitan; it pushes us to hurt others and make them afraid, or makes them reciprocate in anger.

The intensity of anger varies from person to person. Although anger is a natural emotion, it is dangerous to let it loose. Just as any habit or behavior pattern can be learnt or unlearnt, so can anger.


We must prepare to counter anger, when we are calm and composed. Since anger is one of the ways the Shaitan manipulates our Nafs, the first effective step is to become closer to Allah (swt) through the Quran and the Sunnah. The more we strive to please Allah (swt), the more Taqwa (god-consciousness or fear of Allah (swt)) we will have. And the higher is a person’s Taqwa, the more mastery he has over his Nafs.


Remind yourself and others of the Quran and Ahadeeth. Abu Hurairah (rta) reported that a man said to the Prophet (sa): “Advise me.” He said: “Do not become angry.” The man repeated his request several times, and each time the Prophet (sa) told him: “Do not become angry.” (Bukhari)

Anger-Control Plan

Seek refuge with Allah (swt)

The Prophet (sa) said: “If a man gets angry and says: ‘I seek refuge with Allah,’ his anger will go away.” (Mishkat)


At any time, when you feel anger surging, slow down and start speaking very softly, slowly, and gently. Or keep quiet.

The Messenger of Allah (sa) said: “If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent.” (Ahmad)

Forgiving completely

“…when they are angry, they forgive.” (Al-Shuraa 42:37)

Developing the ability of forgiving needs practice. Often, forgiving completely is the only salve for pain caused by others. We can try to erase all the hurt from our hearts for the sake of Allah’s (swt) pleasure. Remind yourself of the worst and most embarrassing incident of your life, for which you would want to be forgiven. Our imperfection facilitates forgiving others.

Developing self-control

Some argue that showing anger is a way to vent our emotions. However, most of the time when we express anger, it breeds more anger and makes us more agitated, instead of calming us down. If we control the initial attack of anger, it will become easier to stay collected.

“Research has shown that the ‘anger reflex’ lasts about one second. Beyond that, the angry person is doing something else: choosing to punish another person or vent personal frustrations – or perhaps that’s how he or she was taught to express anger.

Think of your responsibilities

As good Muslims, we must care for the kind of environment we nurture for ourselves and for those around us. One angry person makes tense the whole house, office, or family.

Sara let go of her anger habit by reminding herself that she is the model for her kids. Khalid let go of his terrible road-rage by realizing that his shouting and cursing could not be heard by other drivers and simply made him tense.

Think positive

When someone hurts you, think of something good this person has done for you. When you feel anger at circumstances or at nothing in particular, count all your blessings and look at the people more disadvantaged than yourself. Remember that all bad and good time is the will of Allah (swt).

Do the positive

When angry, stressed, or frustrated, perform Wudhu, offer Salah, do Dhikr, read the Quran, take long deep breaths, or exercise.

Make Dua

We cannot achieve any higher trait without the help of Allah (swt), so we must constantly ask Him to help us in controlling and managing our anger.

Avoid making others angry

Controlling anger means not only to control your own anger but also to avoid behavior that causes other people to become angry or hostile.

Avoid phrases and words that anger others, such as “Who do you think you are?”, “You always do …”, “You never…” etc. Speak softly and calmly.

Ridiculing a person, calling names or leg pulling is hurtful and makes people edgy. The Quran guides us: “O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames.” (Al-Hujarat 49:11)

Do not discuss concerns and problems with people, when they or you are tired, preoccupied, in a bad mood, or running late.

Arguing even if you are right is not recommended in Islam.

Reduce stress-inducing factors. Do one thing at a time, if you feel burdened with work, learn to say ‘no’ if you lack time, or physical, monetary, or mental energy to do something.

As emotion, anger is a test for us. We must not let it overpower us. May Allah (swt) help us deal with anger in the best possible ways, so that we earn Allah’s (swt) pleasure. Ameen.

Salahuddin Ayyubi

Vol 3-Issue 2  Salahuddin AyyubiThe name of Salahuddin Ayyubi, also known as Saladin in the West, stirs up memories of Muslim valour, decency, and zeal to serve Allah (swt).

Salahuddin Yusuf Ibn Ayyub, was born in 1137/38 C.E. in Tikrit, Iraq, in a Kurdish family. Upon his birth, his father, Najm-ad-Din Ayyub, moved the family to Balabak, Lebanon. Here he took employment with Imad-ad-Din Zangi, the Turkish governor of northern Syria.

Salahuddin’s interest in learning the art of warfare began, when he joined his uncle, Asad-ad-Din Shirkuh, in military expeditions into Egypt to protect it against the Latin-Christians (Franks). Shirkuh was a military commander of Nureddin, who was also the son and successor of Zangi. After his death, Salahuddin became the commander of the Syrian troops in Egypt and vizier of the Fatimid Caliphate.

In 1171, he abolished the unpopular Fatimid Caliphate in Egypt. For some time, Salahuddin represented Nureddin in Egypt, but upon the latter’s death in 1174, he declared himself Sultan. He ruled with a firm but just hand, brought an end to the corruption in the government ranks, and made many strides in developing the economy and public welfare.

The Spanish Muslim traveller Ibn Jubayr, in his travelogue describes a hospital that Salahuddin established in Cairo. It housed hundreds of beds for patients and a separate ward for female patients. There was a section of the hospital, with high walls, which was reserved for mental patients. The Sultan himself took keen interest in the management of the hospital and visited it often. He also built a big hospital in Alexandria, established colleges and mosques, and encouraged scholars to write on Islamic topics.

Salahuddin was a true believer in pursuing Jihad against the crusaders. Employing diplomatic tactics and a disciplined army, he first united the Muslim lands of Syria, Iraq, Palestine, and Egypt, where there had been infighting and useless rivalry among Muslims.

Having thus strengthened his forces, Salahuddin commenced Jihad against the crusaders. On July 4, 1187, he fought them at Hittin, near Tiberias in northern Palestine. The crusaders suffered huge failures and losses; and the Muslims gained almost the entire Kingdom of Jerusalem. Within three months, areas including Acre, Beirut, Sidon, Nazareth, Nabulus, Jaffa, and Ascalon (Ashqelon) were also conquered. But the high point of his military endeavours was achieved on October 2, 1187, when Jerusalem surrendered to Salahuddin’s army after 88 years of the Franks’ rule.

The Christian conquerors ruthlessly massacred the inhabitants of Jerusalem upon entering the city. Salahuddin’s and his army’s compassion and courtesy towards the city’s population on this occasion is recognized and applauded by Muslims and Non-Muslims up to this day.

After their defeat, the Christians gathered again to launch the Third Crusade (1189-1192), in which Salahuddin’s forces met those of King Richard I of England. In 1192, an agreement was made that allowed the crusaders to form their kingdom only along the Palestinian-Syrian coast, leaving Jerusalem under Muslim control. Salahuddin then returned to his capital, Damascus.
On March 4, 1193, Salahuddin died in Damascus after a short illness. Ibn Shaddad, one of his close companions relates: “In faith and practice, the Sultan was a devout Muslim, ever conforming to the tenets of Islam … he also performed the voluntary prayers during the night.” At the time of his death, he possessed only one dinar and 47 dirhams, not enough to cover even his burial expenses.

The Ayyubid dynasty founded by Sultan Salahuddin Ayyubi continued to rule over Egypt and adjoining lands until the Mamluks took power in 1250 C.E.

Wasted Blessings

Wasted blessingsAllah (swt) has granted us many blessings, for which we should be thankful to Him. We show gratitude to Allah (swt) by saying ‘Alhumdulillah.’ Another way to thank Allah (swt) is to use those blessings in the most appropriate manner. This includes using them for the right purpose, in the optimum amount, and at the right time and place. We should try not to waste these blessings neither by over-using nor under-using, as Islam teaches us moderation.

Our blessings might be tangible, such as food and water, or intangible, such as our health and youth. We must take guidance from the Quran and the Sunnah on how to use them wisely. If we do so, we will benefit from these blessings in this world and in the Hereafter.

1. Water

Water is a precious blessing of Allah (swt), which we often use in excess.

“… eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allah) likes not Al-Musrifun (those who waste by extravagance).” (Al-Araf 7:31)

Wudu is a great Ibadah. However, the wasting of water is not allowed even during its performance.

Once the Prophet (sa) asked a person, who was performing Wudu: “Why are you wasting water?” The person enquired: “Is there waste even in Wudu?” Rasulullah (sa) replied: “Yes indeed, (do not waste) even if you are at the bank of a river.” (Ibn Majah)

Anas (rta) has narrated: “The Prophet used to take a bath with one Sa or up to five Mudds of water and used to perform ablution with one Mudd of water.” (Bukhari)

Aisha (rta) reports: “The Prophet (sa) used one Mudd of water for Wudu and one Sa for Ghusl.” (Abu Dawood)

On the average, most people use more than six litres of water for one Wudu and about 100 litres for a shower. One Mudd is approximately 1.03 litres, and one Sa is approximately 4.1 litres. In other words, we generally use much more water for Wudu and bathing than Rasulullah (sa).

Allah (swt) has made water for sustaining and nurturing life. He has given water for all of His living creation. As Muslims, we must not spoil the water for others by polluting it, nor deprive others by using more than our share.


  • During Wudu, don’t let the tap run continuously.  Don’t talk while performing Wudu, as you’ll be wasting water while conversing. Moreover, talking of worldly matters during Wudu is inappropriate.
  • Don’t use water excessively, while washing the car or watering the lawn.
  • Mend all leaking flushes, taps, and pipes, as this can lead to a substantial saving of water.
  • Use the shower sensibly. While waiting for the hot water to come in the shower, gather the running cold water in a bucket. You can use it to clean the bathroom.
  • Do not throw garbage, chemicals, industrial waste, and other hazardous waste in any water body.

2. Food

After mentioning all the different fruits and crops that He has given to the humankind, Allah says: “… and waste not by extravagance. Verily, He likes not Al-Musrifun (those who waste by extravagance).” (Al-Anam 6:141)

On the Day of Judgement, each one of us will be asked about what we had used and misused, including the food that we consume and waste.


Smaller portions.  Don’t stack your plate. Take a little food and finish that before taking the second helping. Restaurants also promote bigger servings, which often cannot be finished in one go, especially by children. Take the leftovers home. Two people can even share one serving of an entrée or a dessert. By your own example, encourage your children to finish all the food on the plate.

Donate food.  A social worker once told about extremely poor women, who asked for bones that people left on their plates, so that they could clean them and cook food for their children. Sends shudders down your spine! There are people, who are desperate to make a meal out of throw-aways, and there are people, who are careless enough to throw palatable food in the garbage.

Give away the excess food to the poor in your area or to charity organizations. For instance, Alamgir Welfare Trust Karachi (contact numbers: 0333-315-5369, 0303-729-8052, 493-2283, 493-5824) offers to collect food from your function venue, which saves you the time and effort to arrange the delivery of food.

Recycling. Leftovers and excess food can be turned into a new dish! How about making Parathas with leftover Aloo Bhurta or Qeema! Leftover Salan can be re-cooked with rice to make a quick Biryani.

Food for Plants. Rotting leftovers, stale food, and even kitchen ‘garbage,’ such as vegetable and fruit peels, can be stashed at the back of the lawn in containers, along with leaves, some soil, and cut grass to make homemade fertilizer (or compost), which is excellent for your plants.

Feed animals. Another way to avoid wasting of food is to feed it to pets or birds. I have often observed elders crumbling old bread to feed the birds. Encourage kids to do the same.

3. Talent and Knowledge

Allah (swt) has blessed each one of us with special skills. Some are great at writing, while others at teaching; some are good at listening and giving consolation to the sick and the elderly, while others excel at cooking and sewing. However, many either are not aware of these God-given talents or do not consider them important. Some take these talents for granted, while others might be using them for purposes that are not dear to Allah (swt).


  • Do a self-appraisal by making a list of things you are skilled at, have a natural flair for or would like to learn or improve upon.
  • Utilize these talents at home and outside, according to the Quran and the Sunnah. Write meaningful articles or books, teach Tajweed or crafts, form a group to visit the sick in a hospital or cook for some elderly relatives on weekly basis.
  • Join organizations, groups or individuals, who are already involved in doing work to please Allah (swt).

4. Wealth

The Quran states: “But spend not wastefully (your wealth) in the manner of a spendthrift. Verily, the spendthrifts are brothers of the Shaitans, and the Shaitan is ever ungrateful to his Lord.” (Al-Isra 17:26-27)


  • Buy only when you need and not to hoard or splurge. Avoid impulse buying. Make a list of things you need and stick to it.
  • Don’t be tempted by advertisements.
  • Put a Sadaqa box or envelope in your house and encourage your family to contribute.
  • We hoard clothes, shoes, decorative items, cutlery, dinner-sets, linen… – most of these just lie in cupboards, hardly used. Keep a check on such spending as well.

5. Youth

The Prophet (sa) said: “The feet of a human being will not depart on the Day of Judgment from his standing before his Lord, until he is questioned about five things: his lifetime – how he passed it, his youth – how he used it, his wealth – where he earned it and how he spent it, and how he followed what he knew.” (Tirmidhi)

Youth is the age for high aspirations, productive work, and achievement. Its value is fully realized only when the limbs become less agile, you get tired easily, and start losing that sharp memory. Before that happens, why not strive to achieve Allah’s (swt) pleasure by leaning towards all that He has recommended and staying away from what He has forbidden?

6. Time and Health

The Prophet (sa) said: “There are two blessings, which many people lose. (They are) health and free time for doing good.” (Bukhari)

Each moment passes, never to return. Are we doing all we can to make the most of it or are we busy in the matters, which will have scant or no value in the Hereafter? We might think slouching in front of the TV or gossiping over the phone is a good way to pass our free time. Of course, we need to relax, catch a nap, and call up friends. Nevertheless, some of our free time can be devoted on a regular basis to gaining or spreading knowledge, doing Nafl Ibadah or listening to Islamic lectures.


  • We can make a to-do list of our daily activities, set the priorities, and try our best to finish these tasks.
  • We can analyze our daily, weekly, and monthly achievements. This can slowly become a habit, which will save a lot of misappropriated time and energy, Insha’ Allah.
  • Our health is a blessing, without which we would not be able to enjoy any of the other blessings. When we are in good health, why waste it on frivolous acts, such as non-stop shopping sprees or hours in the beauty salon?


  • Use the perfect vision to read the Quran, Tafseer, and books of Hadeeth.
  • Use the sharp hearing to listen to the cries of the needy.
  • Use the agile limbs to go to the Masjid for Salah in Jamat and run errands for relatives and community.

In conclusion, let us take inspiration from these words of the Prophet (sa): “Allah will give shade to seven on the Day, when there will be no shade but His. (These seven persons are) (1) a just ruler, (2) a youth, who has been brought up in the worship of Allah (swt)  (i.e., worships Allah (swt) sincerely from childhood), (3) a man, whose heart is attached to the mosques (i.e., to pray the compulsory prayers in the mosque in congregation), (4) two persons, who love each other only for Allah’s (swt) sake and they meet and part in Allah’s (swt) cause only, (5) a man, who refuses the call of a charming woman of noble birth for illicit intercourse with her and says: ‘I am afraid of Allah (swt),’ (6) a man who gives charitable gifts so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given (i.e., nobody knows, how much he has given in charity), and (7) a person, who remembers Allah (swt) in seclusion and his eyes are then flooded with tears.”  (Bukhari)

Khubaib Ibn Adiy (rta)

Vol 2 -Issue 3 khubaib Ibn Adiy raHassan Ibn Thabit (rta), a poet of Islam, said about him: “He looked like a falcon among the Ansar. Allah (swt) endowed him with noble character and good morals.”

He is Khubaib Ibn Adiy (rta), one of the companions of the Prophet (sa) from the Aws tribe of Madinah. He loved the Prophet (sa) and obeyed him.

During the battle of Badr, he killed the Makkan Al-Harith Ibn Amir Ibn Nawfal. Since then, the sons of Al-Harith swore to take revenge.

Once, the Prophet (sa) sent a group of ten Muslims under Asim Ibn Thabit (rta) to learn about the plans of Makkah. When they reached Hada, a tribe called Bani Lihyan found out about them and sent a hundred men to attack them.
As the enemy approached, Asim (rta) and his companions climbed up a mountain. When they surrounded its base, Asim (rta) refused to surrender and was martyred along with the other six.
The remaining three, Khubaib (rta), Zaid Ibn Ad-Dithinnah (rta), and another companion, came down, when promised safety. But the enemy went back on their word and began tying up Khubaib and Ad-Dithinnah (rta). The third refused to be tied up and was killed.

Khubaib and Ad-Dithinnah (rta) were taken to Makkah. Ad-Dithinnah (rta) was imprisoned, tortured and later on killed.
When Khubaib (rta) sensed his captors were about to kill him, he borrowed a razor from a daughter of Al-Harith (rta) to shave his pubic hair, which is one of the Sunnah practices the Prophet (sa) had taught his compnions to do. Once, her son wandered towards Khubaib (rta) and she reported: “I saw him placing my son on his thigh and the razor was in his hand. I got scared so much that Khubaib (rta) noticed the agitation on my face and said: ‘Are you afraid that I will kill him? No, I will never do so.’ By Allah (swt), I never saw a prisoner better than Khubaib.” (Bukhari)

One day, she went to Al-Harith’s house, where Khubaib (rta) was held and said: “By Allah (swt), one day I saw him eating of a bunch of grapes in his hand, while he was chained in irons, and there was no fruit at that time in Makkah. It was a favour Allah (swt) bestowed upon Khubaib.” (Bukhari)

Finally, they took him to At-Tan’iim to be killed.
Here, he prayed two Rakahs and said to the Kuffar: “By Allah (swt), were it not for you thinking that I’m afraid of death, I would have continued praying.” Then, he lifted his hands towards the sky and said: “O Allah (swt)! Count them one by one and then perish them all!”

He then recited: “I am being martyred as a Muslim, do not mind, how I am killed in Allah (swt)’s cause, for my killing is for Allah (swt)’s sake, and if Allah (swt) wishes, He will bless the amputated parts of a torn body.” (Bukhari)
After tying him to a cross, the leader asked him: “Would you like Muhammad (sa) to be in your place, and you be healthy and secure among your kin?”
Khubaib (rta) shouted: “By Allah (swt), I would not like to be among my relatives and sons enjoying all the world’s health and well-being, while even a tiny thorn hurts the Prophet (sa).”

Then, Al-Harith’s son killed him. Khubaib (rta) thus laid the practice for Muslims to offer two Rakahs before being executed. He showed us that hard times could be changed into a golden opportunity, if we are steadfast in our faith and perfect in our actions.

“Sorry” Made Easy

Vol 2- Issue 2 Sorry  made easyA friend arrives late for an appointment. Your teacher criticizes you in public. Your cousin loses the book you lent her. An acquaintance passes a remark that ends up hurting your feelings. Yet, none of them say they are sorry. No doubt, you get upset at the fact that people do not realize their mistakes and apologize for them.

However, in all fairness, are they the only ones to blame or are we partially responsible as well? How often have many of us made it difficult for others to apologize? I mean, finally someone musters up the courage to admit ones mistake and then apologizes only to get bad reactions in return for their noble efforts. I once heard a woman say, “Sometimes, if you say sorry to someone, they think themselves superior and act haughtily.” Imagine it was you apologizing, wouldn’t you like your apology to be accepted and your mistake forgiven, instead of being jeered at?

It is equally important to learn to accept the apology of others as well as forgive graciously and humbly. We can actually cultivate such courteous behavior by recalling the rewards Allah (swt) has promised in the Quran to those who forgive: “Those who spend (in Allah’s (swt) Cause – deeds of charity, alms, etc.) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah (swt) loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers).” (Al-Imran 3:134)

Allah (swt) the Almighty, the Creator of all things, with His infinite Mercy constantly forgives our sins, so why should not to forgive others?

Here are a few things for you to remember the next time someone apologizes to you. Know that it is not the time for digging up and settling old scores. You will only end up making things worse. If you need to clear misconceptions about the issue at hand, do not discuss it in an accusatory manner. Instead, provide constructive advice whenever possible. Indeed, some of us really do not know how to react or what to say, when somebody apologizes to us. Try saying something pleasant like: “Everybody makes mistakes,” or “I know you didn’t really mean it.” A smile at times is enough, or maybe a hug or pat on the arm or shoulder. By the way, a kind gesture goes a long way. And once you accept someone’s apology, let bygones truly be bygones. Neither dwell on it, nor talk about it with others.

We should strive to cultivate this noble trait from a young age. How? By responding to other peoples’ apologies with warmth and encouragement, making them feel comfortable about admitting their faults. If you do so, they will always be ready to admit their mistakes without shying away. And don’t forget to own up and apologize to them for your mistakes, too.

Finally, be sensitive to and recognize nonverbal apologies. Some people, like parents, older siblings, teachers, or elder relatives, find it difficult to make verbal apologies to those they consider their subordinates. Or maybe they just find it hard to do so. They usually prefer to make amends through kind deeds, praise, or nice gestures, such as, giving flowers or gifts. So, please recognize and accept both the conventional and unconventional forms of apologies.

Good Pickings

Can women find any good in their mothers-in-law, asks Uzma Rizvi

Mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law share a special bond – a bond that is sometimes difficult to come to terms with. Some have it easy and adjust with one another from day one, while others have differences that are resolved over time. Some keep bickering all their lives, and some just learn to tolerate each other’s shortcomings. So, when I was assigned this article to dig up qualities that women admire about their moms-in-law, I took it up with some reservations – Would I be opening a can of worms? Will I get any positive replies? Well, read on and find out.

When I put the question to Samira, who lives in a joint family, she was quiet for a long time, then said: “Right now I just cannot come up with any thing I admire about my mom-in-law, except that … I can say, she is time-conscious. She does not procrastinate, whether it is visiting people, doing household chores, or just going to the bazar. As for her other commendable qualities I will call you back if I can think of more.” I have not heard from her since!

Rafiqua, remembers her mother-in-law quite fondly and answered readily, “My mother-in-law expired a few years ago, but before that we had thirty years together. The thing I liked most about her was that she did a lot of Ibadah, whereas in my family I had not seen elders praying so much or so regularly. I also appreciated that although I had four daughters she never ever taunted me, like many in-laws do. Though we had our share of misunderstandings, she would always make up some how through her actions. Like she would call me for a chitchat, or would just hug me for seemingly no reason at all.”

Mahnaz gave a meaningful smile, when asked to identify some worthy characteristics of her mother-in-law, “Umm…let me think. It’s a little difficult to come up with something.” Then she admitted, “Yeah, I know one thing, she is very patient with everybody – with her husband, with her son and with me. Even if she does not like something she usually keeps quiet and shows no reaction, no matter how much it bothers her. While I, on the other hand, am impatient. Now, I have learnt that her way of keeping quiet and letting things simmer down is a real asset in maintaining peace around the house.”

Sajida lived as a newly wed bahu with her mother-in-law only for a few months, before the lady expired. “Unforgettable,” is how she describes her mother-in-law, and adds, “She was very loving. The most admirable thing about her was that she would go out of the way to help others. She would pool in money for the needy. And yes, she also had wonderful tips and hints about house-keeping and interacting with people.”

Now, that was not too difficult, was it? It just takes some effort to focus on virtues. Whenever a misunderstanding occurs, let us remind ourselves that each one of us has positive and negative traits. If we focus on the good rather than on the bad traits of others (especially close relatives), we will not only make our lives stress-free, but will also earn Allah’s pleasure.

* (Some names have been changed)

Throwing an Eid Party

eid party

Eid is the time for celebration and delight, showing our gratitude to Allah, meeting relatives and friends, and sharing with the needy. As parents, we would like our children to have a meaningful time on this most joyous of occasions. So, why not make your kids’ Eid memorable and filled with fun by throwing a party for them and their friends? Here are a few ideas for creating an enthralling Eid party.

Eid Related Party Decorations

  • Put up posters of Eid greetings in 3-4 different languages, such as Arabic, Urdu, English, etc. This will be a good conversation starter.
  • If budget allows, create an Arabian Peninsula look with a tent in the corner, date trees, etc.
  • Put up colourful lights in the party area.
  • Hang little paper-made crescents with buntings and tinsels.

Theme-Based Eid Parties

Older kids (7-12 years old) can have an Eid party around a special theme:

  • Islamic attire theme. Children could come wearing clothes from different Islamic countries. You can also ask them to come in special Islamic head coverings, such as Topis, turbans or Arab headgear for boys and pretty scarves for girls.
  • Muslim country theme. Ask the kids to bring along something related to any Muslim country of their choice (a flag, a book, crafts, photographs, etc.) They can paste the country’s name on the objects and display them during the party.
  • Theme of foods mentioned in the Quran and Sunnah. Serve honey, pomegranates, dates, olives, olive oil, etc. Posters, wax replicas, and paper cutouts of the fruits and vegetables can be used as decorations.
  • Sharing the joy of Eid theme. Mothers and older children can have an Eid party at the local hospital or orphanage. They can take some eatables and gifts for the needy kids.

Gaming Zone

What’s a kids’ party without games? You can mould some of the games to give them an Islamic colour.

Games for younger and older kids:

  • Quiz between 2 teams on Islamic knowledge. Ask simple, age-appropriate questions about Muslim countries, Islamic practices, simple Duas, etc.
  • Story time. Read a story on any of the prophets or companions.
  • Passing the pillow. Short questions about the likes and dislikes of the Prophet Muhammad (sa), about his family and more.
  • Lemon in a spoon race.
  • Treasure hunt.
  • Memory game. Place objects in a tray and show to each child for 10 seconds. Later, ask them to write down the items they can remember.
  • Drawing competition. Topics can be: what you did on Eid, what you ate on Eid, making an Eid card for your parents, grandparents, or best friend.

Games for mothers and kids together:

  • Draw four pictures of Islamic objects on large sheets of paper, for example, a Masjid, a prayer mat, a Hijab, Kabah. Get four parents to hold up a picture in each corner of the room (if the place is small, in different rooms – make sure hallways are clear). Stand in the centre and call out one of the names – children then should run as fast as they can to that corner. You can also use Arabic names or draw sites of Islamic importance, such as the sacred mosques. Keep the game short and fast.
  • Charades. Each mom will have to act out a word to make her team guess what the word is. For instance, the word ‘Wudhu’ can be demonstrated by doing the actions of the ablution.
  • Gifts for the poor. A table can be laid out with some fruits, small packs of biscuits or chips, toys etc. With mom’s help, each child can pack a small goody bag and take it home for giving to the servants, who work in their house. This will apprise the child with a sense of sharing and caring for the deprived ones.

Ideas for Goody Bags or Give-Aways

Kids always love taking home a reminder of the party. According to your pocket, you can prepare the goody bags matching the Eid mood of the party.

Big budget

  • CD of “Sound Vision”
  • Audiotape of “Sound Vision”
  • Some religious activity book e.g. flowers of Islam series
  • Stationary set
  • Toys
  • Chocolates
  • Biscuits

Economical budget

  • Stickers (I love Allah, etc.)
  • A set of 3 religious activity sheets
  • Some other religious souvenir (key chain)
  • Stationary items
  • Balloons
  • Chocolates
  • Biscuits

Want More Ideas?

  • Play children’s Islamic songs in the background.
  • At the prayer time, offer Salah in congregation. (Moms and children together.)
  • Children can have a camel ride, if it can be arranged.

Story Time with a Difference

Beforehand, prepare a simple story with 4 main characters or objects – for example, a boy’s name, a prayer hat, a Masjid, the Quran. Build a story around them. Draw or write each character / object on a card. The more children you have for this game, the better, so that there are 3 or 5 ‘Masjids’, 3 or 4 ‘prayer hats,’ etc. Get the children to sit on chairs in a circle with spaces between the chairs. Begin to tell the story. As the children hear their card name mentioned, they have to get up, run around the circle, and sit back down again.


Yummy Foods

Here are ideas to satisfy those growling tummies:

Finger food for 3-6 years olds

  • Mini pizzas
  • French fries
  • Nuggets
  • Sandwiches
  • Boiled sweet potatoes
  • Seasonal fruits

Kids food for 7-9 and 10-12 years olds

  • Kebabs
  • Burgers or bun kebabs
  • Rolls
  • Cholay
  • Samosas