Finding a Job- Expect the unexpected and make it yours!

duaI am a physician but I am unable to find a job yet. Should I think that it is my destiny and stop searching for jobs?

As far as destiny is concerned, the word “destiny” means, “has been pre-ordained for you”- not to find a job. But you are not sure whether it is your destiny not to find a job forever.

A Tawakkul and true reliance on Allah (swt) the Almighty and how you put your trust on Allah (swt) is by following their means: You apply for a job here or there in several places, acquire higher degrees, get your internship and meet with people. This is called following their means.

Then why put your trust in Allah (swt) that He has saved something for you better than what you expect, but you don’t know it and that’s why you keep trying. But, you quit because you know it is your destiny. How do you know that it is your destiny? This is similar to the person who claims that since Allah (swt) has already pre-ordained my fate/destiny, whether I enter heaven or hell, why shall I worship? Why shall I do or I restrain from certain things? It has been decided already.

That will be true if you have already an assurance about your fate, but that you cannot know. The Prophet Muhammad (sa) said: “Everyone should work hard and follow their means; everyone will find it easy to achieve what he has been created for.”

In addition, the Prophet Muhammad (sa) has guided us to some supplications and invocations that would facilitate to find a job, and increase in one’s provision.

  • The greatest, of course is, constantly seeking forgiveness and saying: “Astaghfirullah” asking Allah (swt) in your prayer, in your Sujood to increase your provision. One of the most beautiful supplications:

رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِىْ الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِىْ الآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَّقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ

“Our Lord, give us a good reward in the life of this world and a good reward in the life of Hereafter.”

The word reward will cover job, provision, wife, children, progress, and success here and here after.

  • Ask righteous people to pray for you. It is permissible in Islam to ask people to pray for you. May Allah (swt) make it easy for you.
  • Giving in a charity and helping somebody to fulfill his need would facilitate in your finding a job, and making the search easy for you.

The Prophet Muhammad (sa) said: “As long as you are assisting others, Allah (swt) will be assisting you as well. You fulfill the needs of others; Allah (swt) will fulfill your needs as well.”

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLI3hf5WOnY

 

Bringing Deen in your child’s heart

quran_childThere is a good difference between teaching Deen and making your child love Deen. Teaching comes very easily; you have to instruct your children to pray, greet with peace, to be honest at all times, and to avoid all kinds of sins. They will practise it as long as they are under your supervision, but it cannot be guaranteed in your absence. In order to make them really want to do the righteous acts you have to instil love for the Deen in their hearts.
Don’t scare them with imaginary beings.

It is the most common practise in our society that, as adults, we are prone to scaring kids using imaginary beings with some horrible made-up names. It temporarily solves the problem, but in the long run, it will not do any good. First of all, it will make your child feel deceived when he or she will discover that a scary being as such never existed. Then, it will make your child think that it is alright to lie; and then, they might lie to you as well for small and big matters. Lastly, they will never get to realize the Greatness of Allah (swt).
Instead, tell them about Allah (swt), the Most Merciful, the Most Gracious. If it is about finishing their homework, tell them that since Allah (swt) has blessed them with the opportunity to study at a school, they should thank Him by finishing their school work. If you want them to finish their food, or eat a particular dish they don’t like, tell them about how Allah (swt) will be pleased if he or she eats the food Allah (swt) has blessed your family with.

Increase their trust in Allah (swt)
Increasing your children’s trust in Allah (swt) will help to make their perception about the Judgement Day, the existence of Hell and Paradise stronger. Start doing it from a very young age. Each time they are worried, tell them that Allah (swt) is with them at all times. When your children are afraid to go to school because you will not be there, let them know that even though you can’t be there, Allah (swt) will be looking after them. This makes the existence of Allah (swt) more real to children, and they start feeling protected by Allah (swt).

Make them realize their value in the sight of Allah (swt)
We all know and must believe that Allah (swt) loves each one of us more than anyone else in this world. Children will only know that when they will persistently hear from their parents. Also, for this reason, you need to avoid taunting your children about something they are not good at, or scold them unnecessarily.

Let your children know that Allah (swt) loves them more than you do or anyone else does. Make them realize the blessings Allah (swt) has showered them with. Let them know that the happiness they receive is by the blessings of Allah (swt), and that is only because they mean a lot to Allah (swt).

Don’t shun them for wrong deeds
When you catch children doing something wrong, don’t shun them or isolate them. Instead ask them to repent and rectify their mistakes. Explain to them why it is wrong to commit a sin, or to go against the commandments of Allah (swt); and that Allah (swt) is the most forgiving if they decide not to repeat their mistake.

Rewards are more effective than punishments
It is very easy to punish your children, and punishments will eventually stop your children from doing the wrong act; but better than this is to reward them for the good deeds. By rewarding, you will increase the chances of them going good deeds again.

The reward does not have to be materialistic all the time. You can juggle between rewarding with a toy, chocolate, their favourite food, reading them their favourite book, playing a game with them that they enjoy or simply encouraging them with words.

Do what you preach
‘Do what you preach’ is the most important rule that parents forget to apply when teaching their children anything. Children learn more from your actions than from your words. If you tell them that we are not supposed to lie, then you should be careful of not lying as well. If you ask them to perform the prayers on time, then they must see you doing the same.

Allow open and friendly discussions
You can only expect your children to take you seriously, if they have that trust that you are not trying to boss them- but rather, you care for them. Take some time out every day to sit and talk to your children. Let them be open enough to discuss their doubts and confusions, especially when it comes to the Deen. Do your best not to show your irritation even if you do get irritated by their questions. Of course, there always have to be this certain boundary that you will have to maintain; but, as long as, they are really serious about asking a question, you don’t have to be too hard on them.

Randomly tell them prophetic stories
I have heard this complaint from a lot of parents that their kids enjoy listening to stories; but whenever they take that opportunity to tell them Islamic tales, they quickly lose their interest, and the whole purpose of telling that story gets destroyed.

My advice is to start the story in a general manner. You don’t have use the name of the Prophet right at the start of the story. Start with telling the story and try to grasp your child’s interest with the whereabouts of the story. Whenever we are telling kids stories of the Prophets, we focus more on their names and less on the moral of the story; whereas. children are always more interested in what the story is all about. So, once you have gained the attention get to the name of the Prophet.

Introduce them to the words of Allah (swt)
Making your children learn and memorize the Quran is an excellent act. But, along with that make them understand the meaning of the verses they recite is important. Quran has covered all topics related to our lives. What could be a better way to educate your children than with the words of Allah (swt).

Instilling Deen in your child’s heart is easier said than done. But, if you do it with pure intentions, Allah (swt) is sure to help you. May Allah (swt) be pleased with all the efforts you put in to bring up a pious offspring. Ameen.

A Decade of Happy Marriage

 

win 7 home premium 64 bit product key
win 7 home premium key oem
win 7 home premium serial key 2014
win 10 professional key paypal
win server 2012 r2 essentials cd key
win 7 enterprise key cheap
win 10 ultimate activation code 2012
win 7 professional serial key 32 bit
win server 2012 essentials keygen
Office Outlook 2016
windows 7 activation key sale
windows 7 professional sp1 key
Microsoft Dynamics CRM 4.0
Microsoft Windows Vista Enterprise with SP2
windows 7 license key cheap
windows 7 enterprise product key code
windows 7 key cheapest
windows 10 activation keygen
windows 10 enterprise activation key download
Microsoft Office 2010
win 10 license key finder
win 8.1 pro genuine product key
win server 2008 genuine activation key
win server 2012 install cd key
win 8 standard key code
win 7 professional sp1 key oem
win 10 Home Basic to Ultimate Anytime Upgrade
Office Visio Standard 2013
win 7 64 bit product key
win server 2012 r2 standard keygen
win 8 professional activation key 64 bit
win 8.1 professional 64 bit product key
win 7 enterprise x86 serial key
win 7 product key buy home premium
win 7 Ultimate
win 10 ultimate sp1 32 bit cd key
win server 2008 r2 standard key activation
win server 2008 32 bit cd key
win server 2008 r2 enterprise key 2012
win 8 standard activation key
win 7 home basic genuine key
win 10 cd key not valid
win 8.1 enterprise product key price
win 10 professional key cheap
win 7 enterprise activation key download
win 10 professional license key purchase
win 10 activation key purchase
win 8 license key sticker
win 8.1 pro dell oem key
win 8.1 pro cd key
win 7 home premium oem key asus
win 8 enterprise key shop
Office 2016
win 7 Home Premium to Ultimate Anytime Upgrade
win embedded 8 standard key
win 10 home premium sp1 key original
Office Project Professional 2013 SP2
win 10 professional 64 bit product keygen
win server 2008 r2 original key
Windows Server 2008 Datacenter R2
windows server 2012 r2 essentials keygen
windows 8 enterprise key
windows 7 home cd key
McAfee AntiVirus Plus 2013 (1PCs-2Year)
windows 10 ultimate serial key list
Norton Internet Security 2013 2 years/3 PC
windows 10 license key
windows 10 home premium sp1 key original
windows 8.1 enterprise x64 serial key
Windows 10 Starter to Home Premium Anytime Upgrade
windows server 2008 key
Microsoft Office Outlook 2010
windows 10 home premium sp1 key serial
windows embedded 8 standard key
windows 7 home premium key shop
windows 10 enterprise activation key download
Microsoft Dynamics CRM 2011
Microsoft Windows Vista Business with SP2
windows 7 ultimate key cheap
windows 8 professional oem key
Windows Server 2003 Web Edition
Rosetta Stone German Level 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Set
Microsoft Office 2007 Ultimate
windows 8.1 cd key list
Windows Vista to Ultimate Anytime Upgrade
windows 7 professional product key activation code
windows 7 professional product key prices
Windows 10 Starter to Home Basic Anytime Upgrade
McAfee Total Protection 2013 (3PCs-2Year)
windows 7 home oem key
windows 7 home premium activation key oem
windows 7 enterprise serial key 64 bit
windows 7 home premium keygen 32 bit
windows server 2008 buy key
McAfee Internet Security 2013 (3PC-1Year)
windows 8 enterprise genuine key
windows 7 ultimate oem key 2012
Microsoft Windows Vista Home Basic With SP2
Windows 7 Enterprise SP1

9 happy marriage

Being a young girl, I repeatedly had to listen to such statements: “Whatever you study, one day you have to get married and do the household chores.”

I used to ignore it as much as I could. After the bone-breaking study of medicine with all work and no play schedule, there came a time when I had to tie a knot with somebody and leave all my books. I had to start from scratch and set foot in the sea of entirely new experiences and learning. Anatomy and biochemistry that had become a part and parcel of my life got replaced by the study of kitchen management and hacks.

My married life is now ten years old, and a proud feather is added to my marriage cap. I have realized the deeper meaning of marriage – it is a pact of making your sharp corners round.

According to Mufti Ibrahim Desai: “There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah (swt).”

I don’t celebrate marriage anniversaries by parties or hip-hop; but I do celebrate by pondering over the lessons that I had learnt during that year and store them in my memory. Each year, I implement those lessons into my life to get more happiness and success. My secret of a blissful marriage is based on the following lessons.

  1. Silence is the best medicine

It is very usual to have differences, but to remain calm and composed is an art, which is achieved through excellent self-control tactics. Arguing at times of conflict can make the situation worse by letting the Satan enter into it.

Abu Saeed Al-Khudri reported that the Prophet (sa) said: “If anyone is humble for the sake of Allah (swt) by a degree, Allah (swt) will elevate him one degree, until he reaches the highest degrees; if anyone is arrogant towards Allah (swt), Allah (swt) will lower him one degree until he reaches the lowest of low degrees.” (Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani)

The very first thing that took me to the tantrums after my marriage was the late night schedule of my husband’s job. As my father was a government officer, we used to enjoy the evening tea with him at home. When I shared that with my hubby, I got a mind-blowing lecture of office responsibilities and problems. The best I could do was to pray to Almighty Allah (swt) and remain silent. The next year, my hubby changed the job, in which he had the facility to return back home early and could work from home. Silence helped me keep a peaceful environment at home.

  1. Conquer through love

Love is the language that everybody understands. Showing constant gratitude and love takes your hubby to the Mount Everest of his self-esteem. In turn, he showers you with the same.

  1. To err is human, to forgive – divine

Females have a 967432 GB of memory, and on any little issue, they open up the historical book of complaints, which ignites never-ending arguments. I used to avoid it by imagining the large number of women burning in hellfire, due to ungratefulness to their husbands.

It was narrated by Abdullah ibn Abbas (rtam) that the Messenger of Allah (sa) said: “I was shown Hell, and I have never seen anything more terrifying than it. And I saw that the majority of its people are women.” They said: “Why, O Messenger of Allah (sa)?” He said: “Because of their ingratitude (Kufr).” It was said: “Are they ungrateful to Allah (swt)?” He said: “They are ungrateful to their companions (husbands) and ungrateful for good treatment. If you are kind to one of them for a lifetime and then she sees one (undesirable) thing in you, she will say: ‘I have never had anything good from you.’” (Bukhari)

  1. The foolish secret

I know this is difficult to apply for many of us, but believe me – it works. I used to surprise my hubby by listening to common talks with great astonishment. It is a secret, which I apply regularly and keep my relationship filled with joy.

  1. Invest in your relationship

Sharing lovely gifts and words adds strength to my life and fuels my passion to live together. A beautifully-wrapped present leaves a long lasting effect on the heart of your hubby – it will never be a waste!

  1. Out of sight wins the mind!

It sounds awkward but this is another secret to my fulfilling joyous life. Whenever I used to return from my mom’s house, I used to find a new spark in my married life. Being away for some time allows one to re-discover, and have some ‘me’ time. It helps both to settle and look into the disputes with an impartial aspect.

  1. Give credit

Your achievements and success must be because of your hard work, but transfer the credit to your hubby, as that success wouldn’t have been possible without his broadmindedness, compromise, support, and appreciation. Try to be more courteous and giving.

  1. Show gratitude

Thank your hubby often; it takes just a second but kindles the light of respect and love. Nothing big is required to admit his support – only a nice comment on his return from the office or shop can make the day wonderful for both of you.

  1. Share with care

Effective communication is the life and blood of a successful relationship. Not a single day of my married life has passed without sharing problems, asking or just telling the whole day routine. It gradually and slowly builds up the understanding between the two souls.

  1. Trust is a must

Last but not the least, trust is the key to a prosperous and ever growing married life. Hiding petty matters from the hubby may be of no value at the moment, but it will eventually shake the pillars of married life. Remember the key point that after your marriage, your hubby is the most worthy person in your life. Although ten years have passed, I am still striving to the best of my abilities, so that I don’t let anyone down. Insha’Allah.

(Part 2) Love and loyalty for Allah (swt) – Divine legacy of Prophet Ibrahim (as)

Sahara-Desert-9Click here to read the first part of the article.

3.  Submission
This love brought about submission towards Allah (swt) for Ibrahim (as) because obeying and submitting to the orders is the natural consequence of love. If you can’t submit, you don’t really love.

Every prophet has a specific quality. When it comes to Ibrahim (as), his unique quality is submission. He was submissive to his Lord.

“When his Lord said to him, “Submit (i.e. be a Muslim)!” He said, “I have submitted myself (as a Muslim) to the Lord of the ‘Alamin (mankind, Jinns and all that exists).” (Al-Baqarah 2:131)

The scholars describe this verse as:  When Allah (swt) ordered him to submit, there was no pause and no intermission, and no question asked. Allah (swt) said, “Submit,” and Ibrahim (as) immediately said, “I submit to the Lord of the worlds.”  He did not even ask a question in any regard.  When we check the life of Ibrahim (as) and the rites of Hajj, we see the submission of Ibrahim (as).  For that reason, Islam (which is submission and surrendering to the will of Allah (swt)) goes all the way back to the original practice of monotheism of Ibrahim (as). Whereas we need to have a thousand questions answered, a hundred heart attacks, many motivational reminders and many sleepless nights making the decision before we finally take up some Quranic command- wearing Hijab, for instance.

When Allah (swt) ordered him to submit, there was no pause and no intermission, and no question asked.


This is what we learn from the experience of Ibrahim (as); he submitted to the Will of Allah (swt). But, we have a problem with this type of submission. If you look closely, the heart of the Quran’s message is:
1. Accept Allah (swt) as your Master.
2. Accept yourself as His slave.
3. Guidance comes to those who accept themselves as His slaves.

It is very easy for us to accept that Allah (swt) is Merciful. We accept that, and say “cool, I will still do whatever I want.”

But, we have a hard time accepting that He is our Master. Because that implies we are slaves and slaves are not free people; they are supposed to do all that their Master says. They are supposed to submit.
And because our evil desires and egos are so inflated, we fail to accept Him as our Master. We might say it with our tongues, but our actions prove otherwise.

If you want to really live the legacy of Ibrahim (as), you have to accept Allah (swt) as your Master and submit to His commands.

4. Sacrifice
Because of this over flowing love for Allah (swt), Ibrahim (as) was ever ready to give up anything and everything for Allah (swt).
He left his father, his people and his homeland where he lived and grew up, his comfort and eventually, even prepared to literally slaughter his extremely beloved son, Ismail (as) – all for the sake of Allah (swt).

But, Allah (swt) saved him from the great trial of sacrificing his beloved son. Because the purpose was not to slaughter the son, rather the aim was to make the heart pure for Allah’s (swt) love. And Ibrahim (as) had that pure love.

Are we ready to give up all that we desire for the Only One we believe in?

If we are able to take this lesson of sacrificing everything for the love of Allah (swt) from the act of sacrifice done on Eid-ul-Adha, then we have achieved the essence of the message. Because in the end, it all comes down to this: Are we ready to give up all that we desire for the Only One we believe in?

5. Tawakkul

“O Ibrahim, will you go and leave us in this valley in which there are no people and nothing?” Hajra (ra) said that to her husband, Ibrahim (as), several times, and he did not answer her. Then she said to him: “Is it Allah (swt) Who has commanded you to do this?” He said: “Yes.” She said: “Then He will not forsake us.” (Bukhari)

It is an unparalleled example of having trust in Allah’s (swt) plan. But with it also reflect on Ibrahim’s (as)  state of Tawakkul. Is it easy to leave behind your family in a remote place like this? Definitely not. But, when Allah (swt) tells you so, you do it without any hesitation and fear.

Can we do that? With our current state of faith, the answer will be obvious.

Any rewards of this love for Allah (swt) and this unmatched submission? Yes many. And one of the obvious ones is:

6. Hajj and building the Kabah

“And (remember) when Ibrahim (Abraham) and (his son) Ismail (Ishmael) were raising the foundations of the House (the Kabah at Makkah), (saying), ‘Our Lord! Accept (this service) from us. Verily, You are the All-Hearer, the All-Knower’” (Al-Baqarah 2:127)

The chapter of the establishment of Hajj is a unique chapter.  Muslims are still following the legacy of Ibrahim (as). Remember  whenever you go for Hajj, you are the response of Ibrahim (as). You are the response of his call when Allah (swt) told him to call the people to come for Hajj!  Proclaim the Hajj, and let the people come and answer his call! Till this day, we remember him and follow his example.
The essence of Propfet Ibrahim (as) legacy
This is the legacy of the great Prophet of Allah (swt), Ibrahim (as). Love Allah (swt). Then submit. And that’s the true meaning of being a Muslim.

Love for Allah (swt) made him succesful. And Allah (swt) praised him as follows,

“And (remember) when the Lord of Ibrahim (Abraham) [i.e., Allah] tried him with (certain) Commands, which he fulfilled. He (Allah) said (to him), “Verily, I am going to make you a leader (Prophet) of mankind.” [Ibrahim (Abraham)] said, “And of my offspring (to make leaders).” (Allah) said, “My Covenant (Prophethood, etc.) includes not Zalimun (polytheists and wrong-doers).”

(Al-Baqarah 2:124)

La ilaha illa Allah is not just a statement of the tongue; let the heart bear witness!

Pearls of Peace: An extract from Juzz 19

pearls9Surah An-Naml

The Surah is named after one ant which was concerned about the rest of her tribe, “Till, when they came to the valley of the ants, one of the ants said: O ants! Enter your dwellings, lest Sulaiman (Solomon) and his hosts crush you, while they perceive not.” (An-Naml 27:18)

Dua is directly proportional to closeness to Allah (swt)

If we Muslims concern about one another’s well-being just like the ant our lost peace would return. Prophet Sulaiman (as) who was given the miracle of communication with the humans, as well as, other creatures like the ant. He smiled, amused at her speech, and said, “So he Sulaiman (Solomon) smiled, amused at her speech and said: My Lord! Inspire and bestow upon me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favours which You have bestowed on me and on my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds that will please You, and admit me by Your Mercy among Your righteous slaves. ” (An-Naml 27:19)

He right away acknowledged Allah’s (swt) special favour upon him and expressed gratitude. Let’s memorise this Dua and be grateful to Allah’s (swt) blessings upon us and our parents. Dua is a means to get closer to Allah (swt). The more we make Dua, the closer we get to Him. And the more effort we make to get closer to Him, the more He will run to us for He is a loving and compassionate Lord.

We have been reading the story of Moosa (as) in bits and pieces so far, now comes Surah al-Qasas.

Story of Moosa (as)

It is the Surah which contains the most detailed account of Prophet Moosa (as). Moosa (as) was born at a time when Pharaoh was slaughtering new-born male children. For the mothers, it was a grievous time; to give birth and see their child slaughtered. Allah (swt) inspired Moosa’s (as) mother to cast him into the river without fear or grief. He assured her that He will return the baby to her and make him one of His messengers. And this did happen, as we read, “So did We restore him to his mother, that she might be delighted, and that she might not grieve, and that she might know that the Promise of Allah is true. But most of them know not.” (Al-Qasas 28:13)

Allah (swt) keeps His promise

Allah’s (swt) promise is always true. He does not back out of His promises. Another promise mentioned in this story is when Allah (swt) promised Prophet Muhammad (sa) return to Makkah, “Verily, He Who has given you (O Muhammad (sa)) the Quran (i.e. ordered you to act on its laws and to preach it to others) will surely bring you back to the Maad (place of return, either to Makkah or to Paradise after your death, etc.). Say (O Muhammad (sa)): My Lord is Aware of him who brings guidance, and he who is in manifest error.” (Al-Qasas 28:85), and we read it did happen. Another meaning of this verse could be return to Allah (swt) in Paradise. May He grant us the company of Muhammad (sa) in Paradise. Ameen.

Moosa (as) and the valley of Madyan

When Moosa (as) was in the valley of Madyan, he found two women standing aside a water well, waiting for the men to leave so that they could water their flock. Moosa (as) felt no disgrace in reaching out to help them despite being a prophet of Allah (swt). He made his way into the crowd and watered the flock on the behalf of those girls. When the girls reached their home, they narrated the incident as well as the man’s utmost dignity and respect towards them to their old father; the father requested to meet him. He had found the man to whom he would marry off one of his daughters.

Current matrimonial facts

Today, we have made the Sunnah of marriage tough by our unrealistic demands and expectations. The Prophet (sa) instructed us to marry off our daughters to anyone whose conduct pleased us. People meet good fellows in the mosque, but due to their financial standing or not having a certain career, are refused or overlooked. Similarly, remarrying a divorced woman is looked down upon. Didn’t the Prophet (sa) marry divorced women? However, the divorced men and women have more experience. Reach out and see if you can find suitable matches for the singles, divorcees and widows in your families and communities. Let us save ourselves and our families from enjoying secret affairs which are strictly forbidden in Islam.

Hold on to trust and zest, let all else rest

One of the women said, “And said one of them (the two women): O my father! Hire him! Verily, the best of men for you to hire is the strong, the trustworthy.” (Al-Qasas 28:26) Hard work and trustworthiness are the two qualities that can take a person to higher levels.

Here we learn a recruitment tip: if you are to hire someone for a task look for these two qualities. (May Allah (swt) grant us these qualities too. Ameen.) The example we have is none other than our beloved Prophet Muhammad (sa). When Khadijah (ra) was looking for an employee to conduct trade on her behalf, she selected Muhammad (sa) because of his hard work and trustworthiness. Due to these two qualities, she felt no shyness in offering her hands in marriage to him; to someone who was fifteen years younger than her. And the Prophet (sa) accepted it because she was a woman of grace and high respect.

In the story of Prophet Moosa (as) and Prophet Muhammad (sa), we learn that there is nothing wrong with the girl’s side offering proposal. If the conduct pleases you, and they are righteous; marry your daughters, sisters and even divorced/widowed aunts and mothers to them. Make Dua and also make an effort to help that Dua be answered. A beautiful Dua that we learn in Surah Al-Qasas is:

رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ

“…and said: My Lord! Truly, I am in need of whatever good that You bestow on me!” (Al-Qasas 28:24)

May Allah (swt) answer our prayers and grant us peace. Ameen.

(Adapted from Mufti Ismail Menk’s “Pearls of Peace” series, Cape Town, Ramadan 2013. The lecture can be listened to at this link.)

 

Twenty Tips for a Successful Marriage

happy-marriageMarriage is not only about love; it is also about trust. If you are not able to trust your spouse then there can be no love in the relationship. Today’s generation does not know the meaning of marriage. Marriage is an exceptional bond that binds you in a relationship such that whether you have a small tiff or a major problem, you try to overcome it with mutual understanding.

Even the Shaitan is envious of a married couple who ties the knots in a bond that is unbreakable. Every day he sits on his throne ordering his Shaitan servants to go and make the humans go astray. After they accomplish their evil mission, they go to their master and happily tell him about whom they managed to mislead. But the Shaitan (Iblis) is not very happy with their performance. However when one of his servants tells him that he has caused a rift between a husband and wife, he gets excited and praises that servant of his. Allah (swt) has created this couple and through Nikah they are in a special internal bond that is unbreakable. Allah (swt) hates the word divorce whereas the Shaitan (Iblis) loves to break this relationship.

Today’s generation should always think before they start an argument with their spouse; maybe it is the Shaitan who is trying to cause a rift between them. Always sit and talk about your problems to one another. Try to be patient even if your spouse isn’t. A husband-wife relationship is like a car with tyres on each side; when one of the tyres inflates, the car cannot be driven further. So keep this in mind and build such a strong relationship that even a hurricane is unable to shake it. Our Prophet’s (sa) dealing with his wives is an ideal example for us to follow and succeed.

Here are some helpful tips for a successful marriage, Insha’Allah:

  1. Trust and help each other; be good and stay positive.
  2. Please your spouse and make him or her feel special always. For example, cook his or her favourite food or dine out at his or her favourite place.
  3. Be humorous, playful, helpful, respectful and entertaining.
  4. Never bring your past mistakes in your present.
  5. Encourage and give hope to your spouse.
  6. Do not compare each other even over tiny things.
  7. Surprise your spouse with something new. For example, give gifts to each other.
  8. Spend quality time as much as you can.
  9. Look beautiful for your spouse.
  10. Listen carefully and obey sincerely.
  11. Avoid fighting, ignoring, lying, doubting, misbehaving and getting angry.
  12. Be open and discuss your problems/worries with your spouse. Also, make eye contact while speaking.
  13. If one of you is angry, the other should be quiet.
  14. Don’t argue. Simply say ‘Sorry’ whether it’s your mistake or not.
  15. Always make Dua to make your marriage successful and your relationship/ bond strong.
  16. Always be thankful to your spouse.
  17. Say ‘I love you’ to your spouse.
  18. Understand each other by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.
  19. Respect your spouse and be a garment for him or her everywhere.
  20. Eat together, be together and pray together.

Al-Wali – The Protecting Friend

gfgfr

Human-beings yearn to be loved and be cared for. Friendship to some might be a materialistic aspect, revolving around short term goals and benefits. Love might be an act of caressing or a hug, but when you contemplate the Name “Al Wali”- The Protecting Friend, real love and true friendship has a totally exclusive picture.

I picture a bond of friendship where relationship exists in this world and the next. The idea of being friends forever is chained to the beautiful bond that Allah (swt) shares with His loyal servants whereas the friendships of the Dunya for the sake of pleasure and worldly gains are limited to sorrows, disappointments, heartbreaks, anxiety and depression. Man still wants to try and test a human being but doesn’t extend his hand for an eternal bond with Allah (swt).

Indeed it is the deepest suffering of the mortal where he is racing and chasing Dunya and hitting a series of heartbreaks while failing to recognize the loving support of an immortal friendship. This is the sole secret towards a wonderful life where you make Allah (swt) your Wali- the first part of your day, the first priority to every decision and the first place in the heart.

How often we give our heart to those who care the least and how often the one who cares the most never gets our heart. In times of difficulty He encapsulates us in His mercy and against the enemy He guards us.

“Allah is the Wali (Protector or Guardian) of those who believe. He brings them from darkness into light. But as for those who disbelieve, their Auliya (Supporters and Helpers) are Taghut [false deities and false leaders], they bring them out from light into darkness. Those are the dwellers of the fire, and they will abide therein forever.” (Al Baqarah 2:257)

We can never avoid heartbreak, but by transforming our expectation, our response, and our focus, we can avoid much devastation. Putting our entire trust, reliance and hope in another “Person” is unrealistic and plain foolish. We have to remember that human beings are fallible and therefore our ultimate trust reliance and hope should only be put in Allah (swt) because indeed, “Allah is sufficient as a helper” (An-Nisa 4:45)

You don’t need technology, you don’t need to complain there’s no one to share with, and you don’t need to keep an eye on the time to call out to your friend. You just need to make a connection of a device – “Heart” that is detached from its charger- “Allah”.

May Allah (swt) make us such, that even if we’re alone amidst billions, we have with us a greater power, Al Wali. No darkness can reign the heart if the power of Allah (swt) illuminates the soul.

If The Veil Were To Be Removed

tawakkul5“Fa izaa azamta fatawakkal alAllah InnAllaha yu-hibbul-mutawakkileen”

“Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).” (Al-Imran 159)

What does it really mean to have “Tawakkul” on Allah?

The root (Masdar/Makhraj) of the word “Tawakkul” is “Wakala”. From this root word, we get different derived words like “Wakeel”, “Mo’akkil” and “Mutawakkil.” A “Wakeel” is someone to whom the “Mo’akkil” entrust his affairs. “Mutawakkil” is one who puts his complete and total faith in the abilities of his “Wakeel” and trusts that the “Wakeel” will suffice him for all his affairs.

For most of us, having “Tawakkul” on Allah is having the idea that whatever Allah has decreed is for the best. I did not believe in this saying. According to my logic and deeply flawed understanding, if something good happens to us, then that’s for the best, and if something bad befalls upon us, then, that’s for the worst. Simply put, I took things literally, and did not think that it is remotely possible that there could be some deeper meaning or “Hikmat” behind every good and bad that befalls us.

I was to learn the hard way that things aren’t always what they seem.

I started to develop chronic foot pain in 2010. Despite seeking expert medical help from many doctors, I wasn’t diagnosed correctly till a year later. Upon the advice of a renowned orthopaedic surgeon in one of Karachi’s leading private hospitals, I decided to undergo a corrective surgery. The night before the surgery, I prayed to God tomake everything all right. As I was being taken into theoperation theatre, I had complete and utter faith or “Tawakkul” in God that as soon as the surgery was done, I would emerge as a new and physically fit person.

Unfortunately, the surgery was not the solution, in factit worsened my condition. The surgeon had diagnosed me incorrectly with a condition I did not have and prescribed for me physical therapy which I did not need; the result of which was, that instead of emerging as a new, physically fit person, I embarked on a two year long journey of pain, depression and being misunderstood as doctors and loved ones alike were dumbfounded by my unique and peculiar illness.

I went from using a cane, to a walker, and finally a wheelchair, (which at the age of 27, seemed to me like I had skipped a few life stages in the middle and jumped directly to the end). I could not go to the bathroom or anywhere else without dragging myself in a wheelchair. My brain was in a constant haze (known as “fibro fog”). I couldn’t focus on anything. I went to sleep tired from battling with pain all day and woke up just as exhausted. It hurt to put my feet on the ground. For an entire year, I wore only socks as it hurt too much to use any kind of footwear.

I could not fathom what logic or purpose Allah might have behind worsening my condition day by day. I knew this much that Allah has forbidden it upon himself to oppress anyone and so, I assumed that if this was happening to me, then it must be because of my sins, and that I must deserve whatever Allah was putting me through. At the time, I was seeing Allah as “Al-Qahhar” and “Al-Muntaqim”; there was no possible scenario in my mind where I could believe that when Allah was doing all of this, He was actually being “Al-Hakeem” and “Ar-Raheem”

I was engaged to a distant cousin early 2012, however our wedding kept getting postponed because of my disability. I gave my fiancé the option that I wouldn’t hold it against him if he chose to end things, and marry elsewhere, but he never backed out of the engagement.

Alhamdulillah, by December 2012, Allah guided us to the correct diagnosis (Fibromyalgia), and through proper treatment and medications, my condition improved considerably. I no longer needed a wheel chair or a walker or even a cane to get around. By March 2013, I was driving and continuing my Masters education again. The pain was now controlled to a great extent and I had become relatively functional.

The logical next step was to set a date and get married. We were to marry after Eid. But we discovered that my fiancé was involved in an affair with another woman since our engagement and didn’t have the courage to come clean to either his family or mine.

Long story short, an investigation was launched, the affair was confirmed and the wedding was called off. Thus, Allah saved me from being married to an insincere person who would have possibly lied to me my entire life and I would never have been the wiser.

I now know why Allah had me diagnosed incorrectly and treated for the wrong disease and worsened my condition.The only thing standing between me and the marriage, at the time was my illness.

Now, I truly believe that Allah does everything for the best.

I read a saying of Ali (ra) the other day. He said,

“If the veil were to be removed, you would only choose what has already been decreed.”

This means that “Tawakkul” is not only about having complete and utter faith that if my ship is in the middle of a storm, then Allah will always deliver me safely to the harbour, rather “Tawakkul” is actually trusting, knowing, and believing beyond a shadow of doubt that even if Allah decides to drown me by sinking my ship, then that’s the best thing that could have happened to me, because if the veil were to be lifted (and “Ghaib / the unknown” was revealed), even then I could not have planned anything better for myself than what Allah already decreed for me. Subhan’Allah!

Most Beloved People to Allah – As-Sabireen

indeed-allah-is-with-the-patient

Adapted for Hiba Magazine by Tasneem Vali

“…and many a Prophet (i.e. many from amongst the Prophets) fought (in Allah’s Cause) and along with him (fought) large bands of religious learned men. But they never lost heart for that which did befall them in Allah’s way, nor did they weaken nor degrade themselves. And Allah loves As-Saabireen (the patient ones, etc.).” (Al-Imran 146)

“This passage comments on the early events of the Battle of Uĥud up to the point at which the victory which was well within the grasp of the Muslim army turned into defeat.”(In the Shade of the Quran, Vol. 2 p.185). This was the first battle after Badr, and the Muslims felt victory was their destiny in every encounter as they were on the right path. Without making this ayah particular to a nation, Allah tells us that at any point, when faced with trial the true believer remains strong (both emotionally and physically) and patient – their reward is Allah’s love. This Ayah speaks to us in the present also. “It (Allah’s love) helps heal wounds and is accepted as ample and generous compensation for every hardship.”(In the shade…Vol 2, p.199)

To have patience/to be patient is mentioned many times in the Quran – but only once does Allah say He loves the patient ones. Reward for patience and the description of what patience means is mentioned many times, but Allah’s love as a reward for being patient is mentioned only once! This is the highlight; patience is a prerequisite to gain Allah’s love.

 What is patience?

sabr

It is when a believer controls his/her desires when faced with a situation where it is difficult if not impossible to control the Nafs (ego/desire). Every part of a person’s body needs to exercise patience:  the heart – I should not complain or feel unhappy with what is going on (situation), the tongue – not to complain to people (as if complaining about Allah to the slaves of Allah), the limbs – control all my limbs from any kind of action that is displeasing to Allah. For example, to control oneself from being negatively influenced by others– when something painful happens and you are patient, others might provoke you by saying, “Why are you quiet? Go fight for your right.” This leads you away from patience – beware of it.

Characteristics of As-Sabireen

الاستعانة بالصبر و الصلاةThey rely on Allah alone

  • Prayer helps you rely on Allah and be patient

الصدق They are truthful

  • Liars are impatient – they cannot be patient in a situation, so they lie
  • Even during a trial/test, the truthful ones stay patient (accept the situation), they don’t try to change it by lying

التقوى They are pious

  • People who are pious are patient and vice versa
  • They control themselves from everything that is displeasing to Allah or following their own desires
  • They are patient because they know Allah, therefore they love Allah, and fear Allah alone

الغلبة على الأعداء They overcome their enemies

  • They remain strong and firm/steadfast
  • They are both physically and emotionally strong

تجنب المعصيةThey abstain from sins

  • Abstain from sins for the sake of Allah alone

عدم النزاعThey are patient during conflicts/fights

  • It’s easy to get angry/shout/complain/show impatience and fight/argue because of impatience
  • They don’t come near conflicts in order that it might lead to fights– they control themselves in such situations

و في الامر – الدعوة بالمعروف و النهي عن المنكر They are patient when giving Da’wah – enjoining good and forbidding evil

  • Patient when calling people to Islam – especially if the person who they are giving Dawah to is close to them (family, relatives)

الصبر على محبة الدنيا و الرغبة في الآخرة They are patient in this world and yearn for the Hereafter

  • Love of the world and love of the hereafter cannot be in the heart together
  • They are not always busy thinking about material things, money, property or children. They are busy thinking about the Day of Judgment, Sunnah, Quran and Allah’s commands.

الصبر على الأمراض والبلايا They are patient when in sickness or afflictions

  • They don’t complain about their situation/ health

الصبر على الاستهزاء و أذى الناس They are patient when they are mocked at / humiliated

  • When someone is trying to harm them using words or mock, insult, humiliate, make fun of them, they are patient

عدم خطوات الشيطان They are patient when the devil whispers to them

  • They don’t follow in the footsteps of Shaitaan
  • Being patient helps to refrain from falling into the trap of the Shaitaan
  • Being patient about things that are not clearly Haram or Halal. Asking for Allah’s guidance to help decide

When you run towards Allah, towards gaining His pleasure, towards attaining His love, everything in life will come to you easily, but the prerequisite is patience. No matter how much you run or struggle for this life, it will keep slipping away from you! Control your desires, and be patient – Allah will make it easy for you.

Rewards for being among As-Sabireen:

  • The love of Allah – the best of rewards. (Al-Imran 3:146)
  • The companionship of Allah (complete comfort and supporting all aspects of life and the Hereafter) – this is mentioned many times in Quran. Can you hope for a better companion than Allah?
  • Unlimited rewards, there are no bounds to their reward. (Az-Zumar 10)

“O ALLAH! MAKE US FROM AMONG THE PATIENT ONES” – Ameen

Most Beloved People to Allah: Al-Mutawakkileen

keep_calm_and_trust_in_allah_poster-r88590c80fecf4751be91aaeb8f3e88d3_2v1n2_8byvr_512

Adapted for Hiba Magazine by Tasneem Vali

“And by the Mercy of Allâh, You dealt with them gently. And had You been Severe and harsh­hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allâh’s) Forgiveness for them; and consult them In the affairs. Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust In Allâh, Certainly, Allâh loves those who put their trust (in Him).” (Al-Imran 159)

This Ayat ends with a profound statement, “Certainly, Allâh loves those who put their trust (in Him).” Think! To be one of the Mutawakkileen, what is it that we must do? Let’s analyze what this Ayat tells us.

This Ayat revealed after the Battle of Uhud; where the Muslims were defeated by the Quraish due to disobedience by some in the Muslim ranks of the Prophet’s (sa) explicit orders; assesses the Prophet’s (sa) reaction (the situation and his personality).

Allah (swt) says that He bestowed upon the Prophet (sa) a special mercy and because of it, he dealt with the disobedient Muslims mildly.

The Ayat goes on to explain, that if the Prophet (sa) had dealt with the disobedient Muslims harshly, a distance between him and the companions would develop; but due to Allah’s Mercy, the companions were always surrounding the Prophet. So Allah explains how the situation could have turned disastrous had he (sa) been harsh and hard hearted. Allah is reminding Prophet Muhammad (sa) and through him we are also given advice, that even during the most distressing times we need to be kind and gentle

So, how should they be dealt with? Allah guides the Prophet (sa):

  • you need to pardon them
  • seek forgiveness for them (make Dua for them)
  • consult them (in matters concerning the Ummah)

We are all human, and prone to err. The treatment Allah has ordained gives the wrongdoer consolation; they were feeling bad, so this reaction gave them comfort. Finally, after following Allah’s commands, then trust/rely on Allah, and leave it at that.

Signs of Mutawakkileen (those who trust Allah):

  1. Fears none but Allah, upholds the truth even in presence of those who are feared, by relying on Allah.
  2. Never worries because of confidence in Allah (in His hands is khayr) – heart is tranquil despite chaos around.
  3. Does not become disturbed or does not panic in any situation as only Allah is the Disposer of all our affairs.

 Benefits of being one of the Mutawakkileen (those who rely on Allah):

  1. It completes one’s Iman (faith), so one’s heart is full of peace and contentment.
  2. Knowing that the Most Powerful entity in the universe is your ally, you surrender to Allah’s will.

Trusting Allah with the conviction that what He does is the best even if it is the opposite of what is expected, this person is content with Allah’s decree, knowing Allah is all Knowledgeable. He knows this in his heart and exhibits this through his actions, following the Prophet’s example as demonstrated in the Ayat we discussed above.

In Surah Al-Waqiah, Allah raises the status of the Mutawakkileen, they are the foremost in everything Allah has commanded us to do, and hence they are the closest to Allah.

To be one of the Mutawakkileen on Allah you must have trust (Tawakkal) in Allah. You could go through the motions of following Allah’s commands, but until our heart truly accepts Allah’s decree you will not have Tawakkal. It is like taking medicine for an ailment but not trusting that this medicine will help you. Only when you make an effort to know Allah will Tawakkal enter your heart.

When is Tawakkal useful?

  1. To be steadfast in Deen
  2. For Dawah (to spread the message of Islam)
  3. To fulfil the pillars of faith / Islam
  4. To be obedient to Allah – follow all the commands
  5. Not to be a problem/trial for others
  6. Protection from all kinds of enemies (enemies can be hidden/apparent – Jinn, humans, Satan, disbelievers – plotting against you)
  7. To relegate issues between people, trust Allah to judge between them.
  8. Trust Allah in His Judgment.

“…and whosoever puts his trust in Allâh, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allâh will accomplish His purpose. Indeed Allâh has set a measure for all things.”(At-Talaq 3)

 Here Allah mentions the Mutawakkileen again in a different way, those who have trust in Allah, Allah Himself will be sufficient for that person! Not only do we trust Allah in specific situations, but every time.

“…so whatever you have been given is but a passing enjoyment for this worldly life, but that which is with Allâh (Paradise) is better and more lasting for those who believe (in the Oneness of AllâhIslâmic Monotheism) and put their trust in their Lord (concerning All of their affairs).” (Ash-Shuraa 36)

So, the reward that Allah promised the Mutawakkileen is an everlasting one – a special place in Paradise. As your trust in Allah increases, your faith will increase and as a result your dependence on alternate means will decrease (in your heart you will begin to rely on Allah alone). May Allah makes us all one of the Mutawakkileen. Ameen.

Ramadan – The Buzz Word

Painting of big red heart over white background

Everywhere I see, Ramadan is the buzz word. Facebook, Twitter, email, apps and other social networks are overflowing with tips, ideas and advices on how to be productive during Ramadan.

I don’t know what more to scribble down about the upcoming month which is fast approaching.

I think it’s time we stop and ask ourselves: are we completely prepared for it, and if not, what is pending?

Cleaning, making lists, shopping, keeping out Islamic books, buying new clothes… is everything done?

What about the small piece of flesh deep inside which we call heart?

The Prophet (sa) said: “Beware! There is a piece of flesh in the body, if it becomes good (i.e., reformed), the whole body becomes good, but if it gets spoilt, the whole body gets spoilt, and that is the heart.” (Bukhari)

It’s the first place from where spiritual cleansing has to start; yet we mostly forget about it and I am not an exception.

Let’s concentrate on it as well, along with other preparations. Let’s start a battle with Shaitan and take away all that he likes from our hearts, like anger, envy, greed, jealousy, pride and all the negative qualities one can own. Let’s forgive those who have been harsh to us as well as our dear ones, cleanse our hearts and leave the matter to Allah. This is the right time. If we start now, we can be better in Ramadan as Allah has promised:

“When Ramadan begins, the gates of Paradise are opened, and the gates of Hell are closed, and the devils are chained up.” (Bukhari)

When our hearts are clean, it reflects on our face and actions. We learn to place complete trust in Allah. We become less interested in gossips, what others think or talk about us, and we gain strength from within to do what we feel is right and what Allah has ordained us to do.

May Allah help us all reach this Ramadan and make maximum out of it. Ameen!