An Eternal Love Story

29By Shaikh Omar Suleiman – Member, ICNA Shariah Council and Instructor, Al Maghrib Institute, Canada 

In this day and age, the success of a marriage rests upon the material comforts that one provides to his spouse. However, these soon fade away. The bond of love created for the sake of Allah (swt), with the success in the hereafter at heart, is what really strengthens a nuptial bond.

This is a very touching story about one of the great companions of Prophet Muhammad (sa) called Abu Darda (rtam). Let me introduce you to Abu Darda (rtam). He was a man with abundant knowledge of Islam. His love to disseminate this treasure and to seek more of it took him far and wide. Being highly enthusiastic, he wanted to share this valuable treasure with all and sundry. He used to relate Ahadeeth about the virtues of knowledge.

When the Prophet (sa) and his companions migrated to Madinah, every Ansari hosted one of the immigrants, the people who were expelled from Makkah. The Prophet (sa) paired every migrant with an Ansari brother, thus strengthening the ties of love and brotherhood between them. Who was the brother of Abu Darda (rtam)? Salman Farsi (rtam). Was Salman Farsi (rtam) an immigrant? Yes. He did migrate but not from Makkah. He was from Persia and had been going to places looking for Prophet Muhammad (sa), whom he finally found in Madinah. The Prophet (sa) paired him with Abu Darda (rtam).

Whenever Salman (rtam) would enter the house of Abu Darda (rtam) (and this was before the verse on Hijab was revealed), he would see Umm Darda (rtaf) wearing a cloth with patches and stains all over it. He asked her why she was dressed that way, and she replied that Abu Darda (rtam) is not interested in the luxuries of this world. She had blisters over her hands but she never complained. She was always smiling with contentment, as all their efforts and prayers were directed to attain success in the hereafter.

One day, Salman (rtam) came to Abu Darda’s house. Abu Darda served him a meal and said to him: “(Please) eat for I am fasting.” Salman (rtam) said: “I am not going to eat, unless you eat.” So Abu Darda ate. When it was night, Abu Darda (rtam) got up (for the night prayer). Salman (rtam) said (to him): “Sleep” and he slept. Again Abu Darda (rtam) got up (for the prayer), and Salman (rtam) said (to him): “Sleep.” When it was the last part of the night, Salman (rtam) said to him: “Get up now (for the prayer).” Both of them offered their prayers and Salman (rtam) said to Abu Darda (rtam): “Your Lord has a right on you; your soul has a right on you; your family has a right on you; you should give the rights of all those who have a right on you.” Later on, Abu Darda (rtam) visited the Prophet (sa) and mentioned that to him. The Prophet (sa) said: “Salman (rtam) has spoken the truth.” (Bukhari)

Since Abu Darda (rtam) was always keen to please Allah (swt) and his Messenger (sa), he changed his ways. However, his financial situation was not that sound. Umm Darda (rtaf) was someone who used to be around the Prophet (sa) from a very young age. When she was a little girl, she used to play in the Masjid. She grew up loving and following the tenets of Islam. She was always in search of more knowledge about this beautiful religion. Both Abu Darda (rtam) and his wife were pious and God-fearing – they spent their lives in service to this great religion. They never tasted the sweetness or strove for the treasures of this world. Hence, he was not a rich man. They both lived to achieve the true success in the hereafter.

When the time of death came near for Abu Darda (rtam), his wife was with him. She said to her husband: “When you proposed to me in this world, you asked my father for my hand and I accepted it.  Ask Allah (swt) for me to be your wife in the hereafter as well. I want to be your wife in paradise.”

One might think that she said this out of emotion and love, when her husband was leaving this world, but that is not so. She was truly in love with her husband for the sake of Allah (swt) and wanted to be with him in paradise after death.

Later on, when she got a marriage proposal from Muawiyah (rtam), who was the caliph of the Muslims, she refused saying that she is engaged to Abu Darda (rtam) in paradise. Muawiyah (rtam) was a man with wealth and status. Despite all these facts, Umm Darda (rtam) refused him. Unbelievable, Subhan’Allah!

This illumines her thoughts and her mission in life. Even though her marriage and life with Abu Darda (rtam) did not have all the material things of this world, those that in today’s time and age we consider important to make a union successful, it had the ingredient that cannot be taken away by any economic crisis or aging process – love of Allah (swt).

Transcribed for “Hiba” by Nazia Wahab Khan.

“Who am I?” – Resolving an Identity Crisis

who am i

By Sheikh Omar Suleiman

Member, ICNA Shariah Council and Instructor, Al Maghrib Institute, Canada

Throughout your life, as you try to find out who you are, you lose sight of what you were meant to be. Should you pursue this or that?

In order to attain success, Islam recommends that we analyze ourselves with critical eyes, as the tendency to live in status quo leads to hypocrisy. We learn from the times of the Prophet (sa) that the hardest prayers for hypocrites were those of Fajr and Isha. Fourteen hundred years ago, they did not have bright chandeliers in the Masajid. Neither did they have well-lit roads. The worshippers heading for Fajr and Isha Salah did so purely for the love of Allah (swt). There was no opportunity to display their faith in public. Naturally, the hypocrites lagged behind, as it did not serve their purpose of recognition before the society.

The Sahabahs were engaged in a life-long process of finding out who they truly were. It is advised to have a certain level of uncertainty about yourself, in order to engage in self-criticism and improvement. Medical experts would agree that the worst patient to deal with is someone who finds nothing wrong with him. The truly righteous is the one who thinks he is not pious.

When Aisha (rtaf) was asked about hypocrites, she described them as those who think of themselves as pious. The ones who come to the conclusion that they are not hypocrites are indeed hypocrites. All one hundred and twenty Sahabahs of the Prophet (sa) feared falling into hypocrisy, even though tales of their unparalleled Iman (faith) are penned in history.

What saves you from turning into a hypocrite then? The answer is in Surah Ash-Shams. Allah (swt) swears by His countless creations in this chapter of the Quran for all to arrive at the process of Tazkiya (purification of the soul). He clearly states that He is the One Who has set our Nafs (soul) right. We have been instilled with the sense of right (Taqwa) and wrong (Fujoor). Allah (swt) has also announced the means to succeed in the Quran. It is to remain busy with your own purification of the soul.

Allah (swt) places the burden of Tazkiya on you. Nafs is the Hijab (veil) between you and Allah (swt). The more you improve your Nafs, the more you will experience Allah’s (swt) Qurb (nearness). This is the first step to Tazkiya.

The second step is to recognize that purification is not possible without Allah’s (swt) help which comes in the form of Fitnahs (trials). Allah (swt) asks: do they think they will be left alone without tests? For every pain, you are rewarded by Allah (swt).

A supreme example of how Fitnah elevates you is in a story of a young man in Syria. He had never bowed before Allah (swt). The soldiers of Bashar-ul-Asad (ruler of Syria) were coercing everyone to prostrate before the picture of Bashar-ul-Asad. Those who refused were mercilessly beaten up. This particular man refused to perform Sajdah before the ruler’s picture, because he didn’t wish to make his very first Sajdah before Allah’s (swt) creation – Sajdah was Allah’s (swt) right alone. Hence, he was beaten to death, making his first and last Sajdah to Allah (swt) alone. What could have been a doomed end due to Kufr and Shirk transformed into an opportunity to enter Jannah. Allah (swt) presented this man with that chance, and he wisely took it.

The next step is Tarbiyah. It means to raise the Nafs. You need to question yourself: “Who am I?” Why can’t I come close to Allah (swt)?” “Why don’t I enjoy Salah?” Some people blame Allah (swt) for their misfortunes, while others blame the environment. They never take responsibility for their own errors and misguidance. They lose hope of Allah’s (swt) mercy and fall into despair.

History proves how people, who were born out of the fold of Islam, travelled far and wide and raised the level of their faith. Bilal Habshi, Sulaiman Farsi, Najashi – they were all people who questioned the purpose of their lives and were thus led to guidance by Allah (swt).Whereas Abu Hakm, the Prophet’s (sa) own uncle, became Abu Jahl (father of ignorance) in spite of experiencing Islam in Makkah. Abdullah bin Ubay, in spite of praying in the Prophet’s (sa) congregation in Madinah, became the leader of the hypocrites.

It was the genius of the Prophet (sa) that he looked at each companion’s strengths and offered them opportunities to develop and utilize them for the benefit of Islam.

Abu Jahl and Omar bin Khattab (rtam) both had exceptional leadership qualities. The Prophet (sa) prayed to Allah (swt) to strengthen Islam by granting one of them to him. Hence Omar’s (rtam) qualities were spent for Islam, while Abu Jahl fought against Islam.

The point is to nurture the gifts Allah (swt) has given you – for example, reputation, wealth, eloquence, etc., – and use them for Allah’s (swt) Deen and the benefit of the mankind.

We either own Nafs Lawama, a soul which is constantly distracted by people, or we own Nafs Mutamainna, a soul that is at peace with Allah (swt).

To accomplish the above, you might need to push out of the way things that come between you and Allah (swt). Surround yourself with people of Allah (swt) and take their Naseehah (advice).

Remember, the difference between a punishment and a trial is your attitude towards it. If during hardships you remain calm, exhibit Sabr and Shukr, Allah (swt) will reward you. Conversely, if during trails you become bitter and disobey further, you will be punished. Just remind yourself in times of tribulations that on the Day of Judgement, people burdened with sins would wish they had scissors to cut their skin to part with them and envy the ones who underwent the trials of the world patiently only to be elevated in the Akhirah. And the believers will not even remember their sufferings at the sight of Jannah – a satisfying end to a journey of self-discovery, indeed.

Based on a lecture-shop organized by “LiveDeen”. Transcribed for “Hiba” by Rana Rais Khan.

About “LiveDeen”

It is a non-profit project with an up-to-the-minute concept of lectureshops, a combination of workshops and live lectures of international speakers broad casted via hi-technology video conferencing tools. Their main aim is to bridge the gap between the English-speaking strata of the society and Deen.

Contact details:

Ameer LiveDeen: Nouman Idrees Sheikh (0300-863-7735)