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For raising our children to become responsible and well-groomed Muslim youth, we, as parents, have to put forth efforts into development of their character and personality. Since home is the first nurturing place of every child, it is of utmost importance to create within it a supportive atmosphere, which will facilitate the stability and confidence of our children. The following tips will help you to build loving homes for your children:
1. Trust comes first
Parents and children should have a relationship based on friendship and trust. No matter what age they are, our children need guidance from the inside of the home, not the outside.
2. Home Safe Home
Home should be the most comfortable place for your children. If they are not comfortable staying home for studying, playing and relaxing, they may look for options out of the home, which can become a negative influence on them.
3. Be the problem solver
Trust your children. Give them as much space, as they are comfortable to share with you. If they have a problem, listen to them and help solving it- instead of making a big issue of it, which would encourage your kids to hide from you their other problems.
4. Befriend their friends
Know the friends of your children for ensuring that they are in a good company. Let your children invite their friends to your home, so you can keep a watch over them and get to know them.
5. Keep a hawk’s eye
Keep parental controls over social media, technologies, gaming and mobile phones. There are more wolves out there than you can imagine.
6. Stay tuned to their life channel
Never be overly confident that your child is the purest person on earth. It may happen that our children fall in bad company, which affects them in ways we could not have dreamed of.
7. Family’s day out
Limit the time your children spend with their friends and increase family outings to compensate for it. Sleepover at any friend’s place must be a big ‘no’.
8. Their life, their choice- Accept!
Accept your children’s choices, whenever possible. Often they are not wrong in asking what they wish for, whether it is their career choice or even a prospective spouse.
9. Matured rightly? Time to marry!
Encourage your children to marry early, as that helps in character building and assuming a responsible attitude towards life. This is encouraged also in the Sunnah. From our surroundings, we can see the repercussions of doing the opposite. If you are against early marriage, your child may find an alternative in the form of a girlfriend or boyfriend outside the home. Thus, it is wise to marry your children, both boys and girls, when you are sure they are mature enough to think rightly.
10. Home is not a place, it’s a feeling
Don’t build a luxurious and lavish house for your children, indulging them with the material goods of this world. Instead, make loving homes for them, guide them with advice and nourish them emotionally, so that they are ready to face the adverse environment of today’s society.