[Poem] Living in Uncertainty


In this dangerous world,

Price of living is a tonne.

But price of death is none.

Uncertain disasters dispel the whole existence,

Living behind the blood of innocent ones.

In this perilous world,

Bomb blasts, cannons roar, guns blaze,

Reducing to ruins, a land of peace.

Following a routine,

Barbarians invade the city,

Killing without any mercy,

Thousands massacred in frenzy.

No limits to atrocity.

In this dangerous world,

Pity not the dead;

Pity living instead and all

Those living without love;

Begging to die than survive.

In this perilous world,

I dwell, owing to mercy of God

Wishing to die in the name of Almighty God.

The Fog Does Go Away One Day

Image courtesy http://cdn.paper4pc.com/images/pier-on-the-foggy-lake-wallpaper-1.jpg

Inhibiting clarity, it hides the reality

As fog, deceit attempts to fade actuality

The liar for a while takes refuge through it

Forgetful of the consequent falls into a dreadful pit

Destined is the sun to soon clear the entire way

This has to happen today or some other day

The fog does go away one day

Leaving the liar’s life blue and gray

Futile is it to find contentment with lies

When in the end the truth is destined to rise.

The Call


My heart was numb, nothing felt right,
I stayed awake all through the night.
My time flew, but I knew,
I am living a life that was not true.

My eyes were shut, my music loud;
I felt alone, even in a crowd.
I searched around, but could not find-
A moment in life to give me pride.

I sat one day staring at the wall;
Till I heard a call, just down the hall
Hayya Al As-Salah ; Hayya Al As-Salah
Hayya Al Al-Falah; Hayya Al Al-Falah

The words were pure, I could not ignore;
I bowed my head, down on the floor.
I found my soul; I thought I had no more.

I knew at once, this was right, my first step into the light
I found solace in my solitude; I made Sujood in gratitude.
Subhana Rabbi Al Aala………Subhana Rabbi Al Aala

Everything will end, let us not pretend;
So come to the Deen, oh my friend.

In my heart- Forever and Always By!


When I was just a baby,
you sang me your melodious lullaby.
From dusk to dawn you worked in an office,
I was taken care of by Mum and Sis.
As hours passed by…. I became a carefree child,
But, despite my obnoxious demeanour, you were always mild.
You walked me to school each day,
“Don’t leave me father”- with tears I would say.
Bringing me toffees and toys – indifferent to the cost,
listening to my unbearable sulks and taunts.
You were revelry to my heart,
Told me enchanting stories about Prophet Nuh and his ark.
Time flew, once again;
Over the years you were seen with a crooked cane.
You became subtle and old,
a face full of wrinkles and folds.
You became grumpy and cold,
“I don’t want to live”, I was told.
I remembered the times when I would catch a cold;
You’d tell me it came in return of a righteous deed sold.
I repaid your benevolence and love,
With responsibility and affectionate words.
Fulfilled my duties, household chores-
Aiding you while you trotted on the glossy floor.
As days resumed, the moments came near…
When you would become persistent with fear.
The sparkle in your eyes subsided, disappeared-
Before your death, you spoke a few words-
Whispering in my ear, vivid and clear.
“Always remain empathic to commence a noble deed.
These words are golden, so pay heed.
Discover you potential and ingenuity,
Never let hampers defeat your simplicity.
Stay away from decadence and profanities;
Don’t let conceit and aversion weave.
Death is an inevitable phase,
a numerous predicaments you will face.
Have determination and inspiration to dream,
Faith and trust, a strong belief.
Pray for me, as I’ve always prayed for you;
It’s a matter of servitude, ending soon.
Now it’s time to say adieu and good-bye…
But in my heart you’ll stay-
Forever and always by.”

I know I am Blessed


I cried just because I didn’t get what I expected
I laughed because I got what was unexcelled.

My expectations arise,
My desperation begins.

More! More! More! engulfed me,
Looting away happiness from me.

My faith weakened,
My life shaken.

I observed my circumjacent,
I felt complacent.

I bow down to the Almighty,
And I got back the felicity.

I am blessed I know this,
I am endowed I assured this.

My life saviour was an angel

Picture courtesy: arabianbusiness.com

Picture courtesy: arabianbusiness.com

The piercing sound of minions struck my eardrums. Without putting a glance I stopped my alarm. I jumped out from my bed at 6:30 a.m. It was Sunday morning; I quickly finished my routine work, wore a black gown known as Abaya, and fixed my scarf along with the Niqab. I took my bag which was a bit heavy, and rushed towards the door where I could see my driver rubbing his eyes and trying to get back to his life again. I had a great sympathy for him, as I knew how difficult it was to wake up in the morning- when nothing looks beautiful except your bed and pillow. But, I flushed out my thoughts and got back into my state.

I recited all the Duas that happened to be the most important act for me. I felt safe then. Suddenly, a drop of water fell on my cheeks and cold breeze touched my skin. I began to think how beautiful my Allah (swt) is, and at that moment my car started and took away my concentration. Forgetting about the driver and few people around me, I visualized myself around the spell-binding weather, cold mizzle and freed birds. I felt so content. The satisfaction led me to some flashbacks.

Rosy pink cheeks with attractive eyes- which were more prominent with well-blended eyeliner and lips were covered with Maybelline colour whisper; and shiny, thick hair flying out the window. Her beauty was attention seeking and she was already well-aware of it. She really wanted to be the perfectionist. Her beauty was enough to beat her plump body. She…I waited a second- why am I calling this girl (I pointed myself) as a third person. Then returning back, I continued- I was appreciated and people used to ignore the fact that I wasn’t a zero figure, I was fat then. Again, I corrected, actually “I am still a fat girl.” I was so much into this world that I forgot about the reality and went astray.

Temporary world’s beautification used to attract me, and it grabbed me so tightly that I was blind; I couldn’t distinguish between falsehood and truth, but what thing changed me? Yes Allah (swt) sent an angel for me who corrected me and made me realize that I went on a wrong path. That angel came into my life and I did come up with the devilish ideas to get that angel out of my life, but that angel didn’t leave me and stood by my side at every moment and situation.

Then one day, the people who used to appreciate my beauty- mocked me and pointed out on my character; they pointed out such things that I had never done, nor did I intend to do. But still, without saying a word, I went out of that place and rushed towards my room and cried as much as I could. Those false allegations on my character weren’t going out of my mind, I couldn’t sleep. My self-confidence, my poise was all gone. I didn’t know why, even though I knew I was pure but nobody believed. I was broken and I couldn’t enable myself to face those accusing faces- I died inside. I was unable to stand in front of my Allah (swt) because I regretted for ignoring Him.

But once I  realized, I was scared and embarrassed to face my Only Creator, my Only Supporter. An angel whispered in my ears to open the Quran. And after a war within myself, I opened the Holy Quran with shivering hands, and removed the dust that fully prevailed on its cover. I randomly opened it and wind blew, and the most shocking part of my life occurred, I called it a miracle and it totally changed my life.

I read the bold lines, “Verily, proofs have come to you from your Lord, so whosoever sees, will do so for (the good of) his own self, and whosoever blinds himself, will do so to his own harm, and I (Muhammad (sa)) am not a watcher over you.” (Al-Anam 6:104)

I stood on my prayer mat without any fear and when I went in Sujood, I cried and I got my life back again. Now, I have saved my beauty for my Allah (swt) and for that man whom Allah (swt) has chosen for me. People do call me with offensive names, call me extremist, but I don’t react, nor does it affect me because Allah (swt) has said, “And give glad tidings to those who believe and do righteous good deeds, that for them will be Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise).

Every time they will be provided with a fruit there from, they will say: “This is what we were provided with before,” and they will be given things in resemblance (i.e. in the same form but different in taste) and they shall have therein Azwajun Mutahharatun (purified mates or wives), (having no menses, stools, urine, etc.) and they will abide therein forever.” (Al-Baqarah 2:25)


A Warm Welcome to Winter


Just take a walk amidst the cold

You will find a ray of hope

Those white snowy lands, and chilly winds blowing

Makes you realize that Allah (swt) is All-Knowing

He knows the human psyche so well

That He has offered us with variety, to happily dwell

They say winter is depressing, and drains one’s power

I say winter is the month of believer, and an energizer

We often hear people nag about the drop in temperature

It has blessings in disguise; let’s make use of this venture

Days are shorter, nights are long

Return spiritually to Him- to whom we belong

Fast the days, and pray the night prayers

Rekindle the faith, and keep it with care

Activities are put to halt, atmosphere is lazy

Read Quran to remove any perception that is hazy

It is an opportunity to be in love with your Rabb, and strengthen the tie

Buckle up O Muslim, for time flies.


What the heart says…

Mend a broken heart

My heart is dead. My heart is rotten.

Oh, I gave too much time to this world, my Allah (swt) I have forgotten.

I tried to squeeze out happiness from this Dunya, but all I ended up with, is a broken heart.

Oh my heart is dead. Yes, it is rotten.

It’s filled with diseases… that overcame its beauty.

I feel it shrinking as it is becoming a black deep hole.

Yes, my heart I’m describing, you may call me crazy.

But, you’re not aware of a miracle- quite exemplary!

There is a vitamin for a heart that has lost its beauty.

Oh heart… Are you okay? What caused you this misery?

The heart replied in awe. Your sins oh man! Your sins oh son of Adam!

They’re darker than the night. They’re much poisonous than venom.

And the heap you bring in me, Wallahi, I am buried;

Buried in your sins way deep down.

You lied, you backbit, you disobeyed, you envied.

You hated, didn’t love. You danced, didn’t pray.

You listened to music. Wallahi, that destroyed me!

You talked to Na-Mehrem, that made me blind;

there stood a wall in me that would decline any light.

You had no modesty. Your gazes weren’t down.

Your anger was like fire, it burnt all peace in me.

You were disrespectful to your parents. Believe me, that’s when I was doomed!

You spoke ill of others, encouraged their sins. You were selfish and greedy.

You sat in front of that big screen all day. That misshaped me, misguided me, and misplaced me.

You kept earning Haram. You kept eating Haram. How could that ever enlighten me?

You counted your money and restrained from charity.

You thought “money” could bring you happiness only!

You deceived your Lord and no light could ever reach me!

Darkness creeped in till I shrank into a black deep hole.

Oh son of Adam, you’re really such a fool!

You move around with a dead heart, thinking you’re too cool.

Now that you know what caused me to die. Perhaps, I shall tell you, how to make me alive.

Yes it is actually possible! This black deep hole could become an enlightening lantern.

Just keep listening carefully. It’s not at all hard I tell you.

One simple ingredient I long for. One vitamin that has the cure.

Oh son of Adam, “Verily, in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest!” (Ar-Rad 13:28)

I beg you, I do… Just remember Allah (swt)!

Dhikr is the key, the antibiotic to my disease.

Take a doze everyday. Start slow and it will guide you to eternal peace!

Keep your hands busy in worldly necessities. And your heart busy in the Dhikr of Allah (swt).

Believe me, I’ll become a brand new heart.

The darkness will disappear, the holes will fill up, the bruises will heal, I will size-up!

Just remember your Lord, praise Him, love Him. Obey Him, fear Him. Make Him yours!

Because, even after, all the darkness you brought in me, He always loved you. He kept an eye on you in patience, that you shall one day remember Him.

Just ask for forgiveness one single time, and He will forgive you without any complains.

He will make the darkness disappear from me, and light me up in a way you can’t believe.

And trust me, that when I’m healed- you will heal. No power could destroy you, no darkness could reach you, nce you have a healed me.

And if you shall leave me dead again- just crawl back to Him, remember Him.And He shall guide you.

“Fly, O Bird!”

early morning

Marvelling at early morning sky
The velvety clouds,
streaked with gold,
painted so flawlessly
by the Best Painter, Al-Musawwar,
hang majestically in the sky.
A bird
soaring delightfully,
light and free
from any worldly baggage,
holds my attention.

The One, who holds it during its flight,
and does not let it fall or waver-
even in the worst of storms.
Why would He let me fall or forsake me
when He, Ar-Rahman, doesn’t neglect a tiny bird?

He, who brings a bright new day
from the cradle of night.
He, who is Al-Wakeel,
He will surely suffice me.
The Giver of life-
The All-Seeing.

(Inspired from the majestic early morning sky and Surah Mulk, verse 19)

Light at the end of the tunnel

light at the end of the tunnelDarkness had prevailed in her life; she wanted to get out of it, but it was complicated. As she tried to stand up, her surrounding didn’t let her do it. It discouraged her until she lost hope and her brain filled with complexity. She couldn’t blame anyone, as she was afraid of revealing her emotions to those who were busy in their lives; and they never noticed what her heart wanted to say.

“Neglect it! Neglect it!” it wasn’t a spoon-feeding job. Everyone has his own personality that possesses a packet of talent- which neither a teacher, nor the parents are aware of. It can only be obtained by trusting upon an individual.

Her talent was ordinary for others, but totally opposite in her perspective. As she believed that the greatest achievement of all is to do more than peoples’ expectations.

Taking this theory in her mind, she tried to expose that: ”Yes!! Something inside me brightens me up”, but she failed as she forgot that people couldn’t comprehend her feelings and thoughts correctly.

On the other hand, the fake friendships and then the deceitful people stabbing her back grabbed her attention. And, the talk which led her to lose her self-confidence made her life pathetic and miserable. She thought to be the worst terrestrial creature.

But, one day she saw a door through which she saw the rays of sun forming a circle around her and those rays were the message from Allah (swt) which made her realize what she really was. Then a reality struck her mind that this world is temporary, and the testing period will make her way easy to the Paradise. Hence, she welcomed those down phases, removed all the negativity, left behind everything and worked upon endurance and tolerance inside her. She bowed down to Allah (swt) who is omnipotent and omniscient. Still people think of her as an ordinary person, but she knows that Allah (swt) has endowed her with loads of qualities on which she is working, and preventing it from rusting by showing gratitude towards Allah (swt) Almighty Who is her light…the Brightest Light.

A whisper in void


My love and sacrifice for Him, who heals the wounds in my heart- slowly, but perfectly.
My self submitted to His will, who holds my unknown fate.
My faith and belief in the One from whom I beg mercy.
My contentment affiliates with Him who is everywhere I go.
My eyes desperate to catch a glimpse of the One I feel everywhere, but see nowhere.
My head bows to His majesty and greatness, none dares to deny.
My day begins and ends praising Him, who’s worthy of every praise.
My secrets and facts are known to Him, who peeks inside my heart.
My sins and goofs are unknown to the world; He knows and keeps them hidden.
My success and failure, it is He who decides.
My thanks merely paid to Him, who absolves sinners like nobody else.
My God, my Lord, my Allah (swt), enlist me amongst those you love.

The spirit-changing bomb blast

blastThe tricky thing they call: happily ever after!

The blast shook my house to its very core, but by the Grace of Allah (swt), none was harmed- neither my family nor me in any physical sense. It left not a single scratch on our skins. Yet, it wreaked havoc with my previous attitude towards life, and left me plagued with question that clamoured incessantly in my head. If only I had known then that the answer had been a mere arm’s length away, I simply had to reach out.

The thunderous sound and simultaneous reverberation of the windows in their sills and the door on their hinges had all our hearts and breaths accelerating at alarming rates. For a moment we were mute, staring wide eyed at one another, disbelieving- disbelieving that something like that could actually occur so close to home… that something like that could happen to us… that something which clearly belonged to the TV channels could jump out at us into the real world, OUR world, from its usual, harmless enough dwelling place below the “breaking news” caption.

A bomb had gone off a few kilometres from my house. My friends were texting hysterically. My relatives were queuing in for phone calls. An unfortunate acquaintance was recovering from the shock of witnessing all windows of her house being shattered into a fine spray of glittering ash. “What world were we living in?” I wondered. Sadly, I knew the answer too well.

This world is not the ideal place to set up a camp. It is not some retreat where we could drop our bags, hurl our bodies into comfortable sofas, kick up our feet on coffee tables and fix a “home sweet home” banner above our heads. This world is dark and dangerous, unforgiving and unfair, cruel and cold. This world is not our home. What is sad, as I previously stated, is that My Beautiful Lord, Allah (swt) reminded me of this very message every time I bothered to unbind the thick, dust coated covers of The Holy Quran. In bold, simple and direct words, Allah (swt) delivers the clear verses,

“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the Hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” (Ghafir 40:39)

“Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children, as the likeness of vegetation after rain, thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw. But in the Hereafter (there is) a severe torment (for the disbelievers, evil-doers), and (there is) Forgiveness from Allah and (His) Good Pleasure (for the believers, good-doers), whereas the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment.” (Al-Hadid 57:20)

This world is dark and dangerous, unforgiving and unfair, cruel and cold. This world is not our home.

“Everyone shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing).” (Al-Imran 3:185)

“Allah increases the provision for whom He wills, and straitens (it for whom He wills), and they rejoice in the life of the world, whereas the life of this world as compared with the Hereafter is but a brief passing enjoyment.” (Ar-Rad 13:26)

“And the life of this world is nothing but play and amusement. But far better is the house in the Hereafter for those who are Al-Muttaqun. Will you not then understand?” (Al-Anam 6:32)

“And this life of the world is only amusement and play! Verily, the home of the Hereafter, that is the life indeed (i.e. the eternal life that will never end), if they but knew.” (Al-Ankabut 29:64)

“And put forward to them the example of the life of this world, it is like the water (rain) which We send down from the sky, and the vegetation of the earth mingles with it, and becomes fresh and green. But (later) it becomes dry and broken pieces, which the winds scatter. And Allah is Able to do everything.”  (Al-Kahf 18:45)

The Book had always been, exhaustive in its emphasis on the treacherous, deceptive, transient nature of life. How heedless I must have become to skim over these dire reminders that should have flashed like scarlet neon warning exclamation marks in my head, but I acted as if I were reading the weather report. My heart had become fossilized under an impenetrable layer of complacency, apathy and laziness.

Within seconds of hearing the blast, I realized with rising incredulity, the insignificance of not only the things I cared most for, but also how I spent my days, in fact my entire life

I hang my head in shame when I think of the person I had been before that life affirming experience, lounging with carefree ease on my bed, cradling my smart phone and my laptop as if I couldn’t bear to part with those “prized possessions”. Within seconds of hearing the blast, I realized with rising incredulity, the insignificance of not only the things I cared most for, but also how I spent my days, in fact my entire life, till that moment. It was one complete, wasted blur of struggles for attaining meaningless aims and undeserved merriment at reaching useless endeavours. What use were college applications or friends or fictional plots or fashion or food or gossip when I could, without a second’s warning, become buried six feet under a bed of debris and rubble?

Two questions kept me awake, tossing and turning in feverish restlessness, that night.

The first:  ‘Was my life truly meaningless?’

And the second:   ‘Where/when/how will I ever obtain the tricky thing they call as happily ever after?’

Allah (swt), the Most Generous, Loving and Kind, finally manifested the answer I sought. Who knows, perhaps, it is the very same answer that every one of us, was unconsciously searching for. We all may be phrasing it differently; looking in different directions, pegging our hopes on different people, but the answer to our life’s struggle is one and the same.

We are born. Then we live. And then we die. But after that Allah (swt) will raise us all back to life, in a world where our souls will be immortal and our dwelling, eternal. Hence, “No” was the answer to my first question- my life was not worthless. On the contrary, it had the same significance an examination has prior to an important result- ‘The Akhirah’. As for the second question- it was obvious that, if I made the ultimate effort to shatter the fossilized coating around my heart and burst free; ready to engulf, wholeheartedly, my Lord’s message, I, as well as, any of my brothers and sisters, could and Insha’Allah will, discover the where, when and how to reach our elusive happily ever after.


The First Step to Heaven

hijabgreenSalams! I am Zamiya, eleven years old. I pour love from my heart and soul into everything I write.

I never thought I would actually cover my head until, what, eighth grade? To me, it seemed like a tiny, unnecessary part of my life, not an actual purpose. My mother wore the headscarf, and at school, hardly any girl was wearing the Hijab. I thought I would stand out, like neon yellow in a darkened background. I never thought it really was obligatory to wear it at all- until the day I found a special book.

Books are important to me. Writing is my heart and soul, and is not a passion, but a mechanism of survival. I needed it in my life- so of course, when I read that particular piece of art, I could not help, but become mesmerized. It told about a seemingly simple girl from the United States of America, who was struggling with keeping her headscarf – covered head high – she was strong, fiery, and fearless in the eyes of God. Along the way, she was faced with uncountable challenges – her scarf had been forcibly removed, Fitnah, discrimination, and a lot more. When I realized how indifferent she was, even with the Hijab – and that putting it on after reaching puberty was necessary.

I finally went up to my mother one fine day, my thoughts clashing with each other. You don’t need to wear it. You look better with your hair all styled up. Don’t do it for yourself or for others; you must look best in the Eyes of Allah (swt). I went up to her as she typed an article and told her my final decision.

“Mom, I have finally decided to wear the Hijab from the first day of school,” I anxiously announced. It turned out that she was overjoyed, gave me a hug, and took the whole family out for lunch the very next day. She styled my Hijab with pretty pins and a cool outfit, and we all went out. Even though my hair fell out quite a bit due to forgetting an under cap, all went well. Since it was my first time trying out the headscarf, I took a Polaroid picture to remember it. I did not wear it for the rest of the summer vacation, though. However, I did keep my promise for the first day of school!

When I went to school on the first day, my specially-bought blue Hijab wrapped around my head and my eyes sparkling with determination, I felt unbeatable – but also a bit nervous. However, it seemed to be totally okay. Loads of girls complimented me on the style and how well it suited me (even though some were plain snarky); the older girls and teachers congratulated me – and three other girls had worn the wonderful headscarf, too! By the end of the day, the three other Hijabis and I were discussing how we decided on wearing the Hijab. My mother took me out as some kind of celebration after school as well.

When I went to school on the first day, my specially-bought blue Hijab wrapped around my head and my eyes sparkling with determination, I felt unbeatable – but also a bit nervous

Now, it has been almost three months since I put on the scarf and strode with pride. I am now encouraging and doing Dawah, representing how a good Muslim girl should behave in public – but at the same time, being the same old silly girl I always was, striving for good grades, crying over anything and being all smiley the next moment, and being just the same person I was. Nothing has changed during this time. I am sure that when I go to non-Muslim countries like the United Kingdom or the States, I will be faced with puzzled looks and fierce remarks. Still, I will never take off my scarf Insha’Allah. Instead, I will show all of them what a Muslim is, and hopefully change the minds of even the most ignorant ones with the help of Allah (swt).

My journey has just begun. I have a lot more to do – to influence the world with my talents, give them my earned knowledge, and much, much more. After all, I am still a little girl who has a lot more to learn about this world. I pray that our Ummah improves more and converts into something legendary- something so extraordinary that generations will praise us and we are in good books everywhere. Wearing the Hijab was only the first step of the stairway to Jannah – and I profusely hope, with all my heart, that I step upon each and every one of them, and that I eventually reach the glowing gates of the ineffably beautiful place all Muslims hope to reach one day: heaven. I will keep on climbing up to the next level of my Iman, Hijab on my head and eyes determined – being the same girl I always was.

Reflection of This Mirror


As a mother, I want to teach you the important lessons of life

Tomorrow when you stand as a husband or wife,

I might not be around as I am growing old and gray

Caring for you, worrying for you every living day,

Today, when you’re young and spirited so high

You want pleasure and freedom to fly,

Things matter most to you and they better be the best

Your heart is constantly in this world put to test,

My child understand the mirage of the world

Do not lose your grip in this dazzling whirl,

It’s the stuff that allures

But it won’t be long before you want more,

The nature of worldly things is such

It captivates your desires, but keeps your soul unrested much,

Occasionally the make-up may fail

The weight may go up and down the scale,

Dark or fair, don’t worry, don’t fake

Allah (swt) made you and He makes no mistakes,

You are beautiful because of your soul

Not the six pack chest or the beauty mole,

If you believe in yourself and the beauty of what lies within

You will be the happiest person from Bahrain to Berlin,

Befriend Allah (swt) so He lights up your heart

May your Iman and Aqeedah never depart,

Throw the world behind you and let it chase you

Just lead a meaningful life with courage and be true,

Let the stuff be your slave

And with dignity do behave,

You are from the Ummah of the greatest leader of all times

Never should you be the reason for anyone to ever malign,

Our beloved messenger (sa) who cried for you and I

Do not forget until you die,

Allah (swt) has destined your Rizq all along

It is you who has to decide the path right or wrong,

Not a penny will you earn less, not a penny more

Than what you deserve so go on and explore,

I don’t want a grade you earn by cheating others in school

I don’t want you to demean yourself to look cool,

I want to see you live and die loving your Creator

I want you to feel pride in serving His creation,

I want to meet you at the gates of Paradise

I want to embrace you there with no guise,

I pray to Allah (swt) to choose you to be the one

A worthy daughter or a wonderful son,

Oh my child, this life is so precious to waste

Such little time is left, until death we taste,

Rise and stretch high

Sprint and zoom by,

Do not look back, but only to learn from your errors

One day you will become a reflection of this mirror,

I pray to Allah (swt) He forgives my slights

And fulfills all the gaps with His might,

Mould you into what He wants you to be

And as a striving and faulty mother honour me. Ameen

This poem is dedicated to every mother who sheds tears for the salvation of her family.

In The Dark, I See The Spark!


In the dark, silent nights,

The pillow absorbs the warm tears that roll down my eyes.

The aches are still apparent.

The agony which tears apart every inch of my soul.

The memory of letting you down several times.

The hurt of giving priority to those other than you.

The burning feeling of cheating you.

The fear of becoming a hardened one.

The anguish of being lost and alone.

The shiver of spell bound heedlessness.

The denial of standing in front of you one day.

The nervousness of being accountable.

The pit in stomach when hear of your justice and anger.

The forgetfulness of daily obligatory prayers.

I cry and become restless for wasting one more day.

In dark, silent nights,

The pillow absorbs the warm tears that roll down my eyes.

I sob out of love for you Ya Rabbi.

I ask, I ask for Jannah like a stubborn child.

In the dark, silent nights,

I long for your pleasure.

I pray for steadfastness.

In the dark, silent nights,

The hope is still high-

As your blessing is more observant.

Beyond imagination is the love of Allah (swt)- 2

keep-calm-because-allah-loves-you-2Continued from here

10:30 a.m. April 7th 2013

It was not that she had never been insulted before. Being a house help, she was used to people looking down at her. It was not that she had never been insulted because of money. It was always money which made her beg in front of people- people she worked hard for. She had been insulted all her life by them just because she asked for some extra money to pay for some tuition fees or an unexpected medical expense.

But it was different this time.

This time, it was Amir who insulted her.

This time, it was Amir who insulted her because of money.

Money she had borrowed from him some months ago. She never thought of it as a debt. It was her son’s money. She deserved to spend it. She never thought he would ask for it. And in such a way!

“I want my money back!” he frowned with not even a sprinkle of recognition in his eyes, “You said you’d give it back in two months. It has been four already. I’ve been very patient.  But now I need the money.”

“I….I’ll see what I can do……” was all she could mutter.

Why did Allah (swt) make her suffer in the hands of her own flesh? Were her life-long sufferings not enough?

The way Amir looked at her was still alive in her mind. She just couldn’t shake the image off. How can he be so cruel to his own mother? It was so hard for her to accept that fact.

11:30 a.m. March 15th 2013

“Assalamu alaikum.”

“Wa alaikum asalam Farri, How are you?”

“Alhumdulillah Bhai. I’ve made the envelopes as you told me to. I had been so busy with the kids’ exams that I just couldn’t do it before.”

“Oh, it’s ok Farri. I know it must be real hard with kids and all. Take your time. Once you’ll start this, everything will just fall into a routine and it won’t be hard every month. I really appreciate you doing this.”

“Oh Bhai, please don’t say it like this. I’m doing it for Allah (swt) and I’ll get the reward from Him Insha’Allah.”

“Let me know when you plan to deliver these envelopes.”

“Sure, Insha’Allah in a week.”

“Allah Hafiz.”

“Allah hafiz.”

11:00 a.m. April 7th 2013

She had been crying since morning. She was tired. She had to look for a way to return the money to her son. She just wouldn’t allow anyone to look down upon her even if it was her son. She had too much self-respect to allow that to happen. She opened her locker. She had been saving money for a bad time. She never knew her bad time was around the corner. She counted out the cash. It was only 4500. She had to return ten thousand! Where will she get the remaining money from? She just didn’t have the strength to think about it. Suddenly, she made a decision. She had a small pendant left of her jewellery. She had given whatever she had to her daughters and daughter in law. She was saving this pendant as it was very dear to her………the only gift left of her husband. But, the task was more important. She hurriedly went to the jewellery store in the market near her house. It was closed. Who opens a store at eleven a.m.? In her hurry, she didn’t even look at the time.

Clumsily, she walked back home. Everything was going wrong that day.

“Allah (swt) just does not care what happens to me. He just cares about the people who do big things in His way. I’m such a sinner, why would He waste His precious time on me?”

She just couldn’t stop herself from thinking.

9:00 a.m. April 7th 2013

“Assalamu alaikum Bhai, I’m going with Ahmer today to distribute the envelopes so thought I should let you know.”

“Wa alaikumasalam. You still didn’t? I thought you made the envelopes 15-fifteen days ago.”

“Yes Bhai, but Ahmer couldn’t find the time before today.”

“Hmm……I’ve already sent the next installment of the money. Make sure you don’t delay it this time.”

“No Bhai, this is my first time so I’m taking Ahmer along as he knows all the addresses. Once I know the addresses, I’ll do it alone next time.”

11:15 a.m. April 7th 2013

As she returned home to her room, she realized she only had few hours left before her son returned. She had to have the money before that. She just didn’t know what to do. Her eyes kept coming back to the prayer mat folded on the table.

“How can I ask Him? Why would he care?”

“But do you have anyone else to turn to?” someone pleaded inside her.

“I need the money now. How can He help now? I just don’t see any way.”

“Why don’t you just submit yourself? Put your worries in His hands and sit back.” The voice spoke again, but this time with determination.

She stood up and put her head on the floor crying hysterically.

“You know I have nowhere to go. You know I never asked anyone else for help. You know very well if You won’t help me, I’ll be helpless.”

She was just crying her heart out.

“I have no one else but You, Ya Rabbi. Don’t leave me now. I know I have sinned a lot and I’m not a very loyal servant to You, but still I am Your servant. You have to help me. I need You.”

She didn’t know what she was saying. She just wept uncontrollably in front of her Lord.

She was so absorbed in her conversation with her Allah (swt) that she did not hear the doorbell. It was when her grandson came running into the room saying someone had come to meet her. Then she raised her head from the floor.

11:30 a.m. April 7th 2013

“Assalamu alaikum auntie, how are you?”

“Wa alaikum assalam Farzana Beta, it’s been a long time since I last saw you.”

“Yes auntie, it’s been a long time. Were you crying? Your face looks so puffy?”

“I was just resting. Amir’s son told me that you had come. I didn’t even hear the doorbell.”

After twenty minutes, and a cup of tea, Farzana stood up to leave. She handed an envelope to her whispering, “Bhai sent this auntie. He had been planning this for about six months but it took so long to actually happen. He’ll send this every month from now.”

She started to show her disapproval, but Farzana just pressed her hand lovingly.

“Aren’t we your children auntie? Don’t you have any rights over us? Just take this as our mother. Please. You’ll make us very happy if you take this from us.”

12:00 p.m. April 7th 2013

Her hands were trembling as she opened the envelope in the privacy of her room. It was 10-ten thousand rupees,  exactly ten thousand. The same amount she needed. The same amount she had been begging Allah (swt) for. He did listen. He did care. He did answer. She was overwhelmed with emotions.

“Ya Rabbi, You helped me from a way that I never thought existed. I was so foolish to think so low of You. You are the owner of the heavens and the Earth and You love me. How could I think you’d leave me when I make Dua to you.” She was in Sujud again begging for His forgiveness for thinking Allah (swt) would not answer her Dua. Then, out of nowhere, a thought struck her mind! Wasn’t she upset? Didn’t she cry that morning? Didn’t she make Dua for the money? But Farzana said they had been planning to give this for six months. Had Allah (swt) heard her Dua even before she uttered it? Did Allah (swt) love her so much that even when she didn’t know she would need the money, he had started planning how she’d get the money? Can there be anyone else but Allah (swt) to love her? She had attained peace. She had found the greatest friend.