My Journey Towards Allah’s Love

keep-calm-because-allah-loves-you-2It’s neither an inspiring story, nor is it life changing. But yes, it is a heart changing story. It has changed my perspective about Allah (swt). I have understood that ‘one cannot cheat Allah (swt)’. Most of us tell our children to ‘fear Allah (swt)’. When we do wrong, Allah (swt) will punish us.However, very few people teach their offspring that Allah (swt) does not like to punish; if He wills, He can guide us to the right path, but this will happen only if we understand His love and seek His forgiveness. I was also scared of Allah (swt), but I never really loved Him (swt). His existence frightened me, but never gave me the strength to fight the evil.

I was once a girl who was God-fearing but not exactly very pious. I fell prey to my own wrong desires and went astray from the straight path. Being a married woman, I started falling for someone else. In doing so, I fooled my husband and deceived my loved ones. This betrayal was like playing with fire, without thinking about my values and responsibilities. It was a trap of Shaytan and without realizing my mistake, I was attracted to it. Since life wasn’t easy for me, I found excuses for my behaviour. I convinced myself I was helpless.

I was not being punished but actually Allah (swt) was showing me that He loved His mankind and doesn’t always punish one for the sins. Instead, He gives us a chance to go back to Him. I have realized how much Allah (swt) loved me.

It all ended, when one day I found out that my husband was suffering from a life threatening disease. I was sure this was because of my misdeeds. I was struck by a shocking realization of what would happen if I lost him. My dead conscience was reprised finally. I prayed to Allah (swt), weeping bitterly and repenting for my astray thoughts.

Suddenly, things started to take a different turn and I found they were getting better. Astonishingly, the doctors told me it was a miracle that he was coming back to life. The first thought that struck me was that I was not being punished but actually Allah (swt) was showing me that He loved His mankind and doesn’t always punish one for the sins. Instead, He gives us a chance to go back to Him. I have realized how much Allah (swt) loved me. I was amazed that Allah (swt) could show me the right way without tearing my life apart. Now, I always tell my kids that when you do something wrong, don’t be scared; only feel the love for Allah (swt) and ask for quittance; He blesses, and grants us forgiveness. Stand firm with Him and He will never let you go alone in the darkness. We cannot dodge Allah (swt), because at the end of the day, ultimately we have to go back to Him. He is the absolute love of a true Muslim.

We all need to love Allah (swt), the Merciful, rather than being scared of Him. Islam is a religion which teaches that loving Allah (swt) can overwhelm your heart. Majority of us are scared of Allah (swt). That is why we aren’t true Muslims. I have come back to my real path and feel like a better Muslim: more patient and more content. My faith has become firmer and stronger. It is all because now, “I truly love Allah more than I fear Him, and His love is enough for me”.