Personality Development: The Jewels of the Household

diamond_1461404cWe are the nucleus of the family- whether a daughter, sister, wife or mother. We keep the bonds strong. The touch of a loving mother is irreplaceable- who wraps her children in a blanket of love, affection and protection, while tending their needs as well as raising them to be good Muslims and Muslimahs. When she hears the call of the prayer, she sits to worship her loving Creator, Allah (swt) and positions her child next to her on the prayer mat facing the Qiblah. A dutiful daughter aids her mother. A devoted wife propels her husband to the summits of success whilst he goes out to earn the daily bread. Indeed, the following saying is true:

‘Behind every successful man there is a woman’.

In Islam, women are not considered as maids of the households rather it acknowledges women’s equality with men in many aspects. Allah (swt) stated in the Holy Quran,

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” (Ar-Rum 30:21)

Exemplary Muslimah in Islamic history

Throughout the Islamic history, women have played a major role in spreading Islam and our beloved Prophet (sa) has praised the following: his youngest daughter, Fatimah (ra), his beloved wife Khadijah (ra), Maryam (as) and Asiya (as), the wife of Pharoah. These diamonds are core role models and legendary beacons of productivity and balance of how we as Muslim women can divide our time fairly between family, work, home and Islam to reach our ultimate goal- Jannat-ul-Firdous. A place free of pain, hardship and sorrow can be replaced with eternal happiness, relief and ease if we learn from the lives of our role models. One of the prime examples is of, Fatimah (ra).

Who was Fatimah (ra)?

A patient and consistent slave of Allah (swt)

She was a passionate worshipper, who put a hard effort in looking after her home and daily chores. She was both- a dutiful wife and daughter, and had a stance in the community for helping the poor and needy, as well as, good Islamic manners. Often, she would give all her food to the poor and stay hungry. She would never complain, no matter how difficult the circumstances were. Aisha (ra) said:

‘I did not see any one resembling the blessed Prophet (sa), regarding all manners, more perfectly than Fatimah (ra), the daughter of the Messenger of Allah (swt).’

She and her husband, who was the Prophet’s (sa) cousin, Ali ibn Abi Talib (ra) led a simple, but content life and had two sons: Hassan (ra) and Hussain (ra) who were very dear to Prophet Muhammad (sa). They also had two daughters Zainab (ra) and Umm Kulsum (ra). Her relationship with Prophet Muhammad (sa) was very close; and it shone with pure love and affection that he said once:

‘Fatimah is part of me, and he who makes her angry, makes me angry’ (Al-Bukhari)

Immense love and respect for her father

He usually visited her house. Her childhood was a shadow of trials and tribulations as her father underwent hardships spreading Islam in Makkah in the time of ignorance. Thus, she grew up with patience and determination. She courageously protected her father, and wept when she saw him bleed. She comforted her father. Once, the disbelievers sacrificed a camel. At the time, Prophet Muhammad (sa) was praying with his companions. Abu Jahl dared his friends to put the bowels and filth on Prophet Muhammad’s (sa) back. Uqbah ibn Abi Mu’it took up of the offer and piled it on the Prophet’s (sa) back. When Fatimah (ra) heard of this, she ran to her father; she removed the filth with her hands from her beloved father’s back, and scolded the disbelievers due to the brutal treatment they performed towards him. When Prophet (sa) completed his prayer, he lifted his hands to supplicate Allah (swt) to hold Abu Jahl, Uqbah and those involved. The Prophet’s (sa) supplications were answered.

Compassionate servant of Islam

Fatimah (ra) even helped during the battles by nursing the wounded. After her mother’s death, she would devoutly look after her father. When he passed away, she was saddened and lived only a few months after him.

Fatimah was an exemplary Muslimah for every Muslim woman- a woman of courage, piety and righteousness. Her aim in life was to serve Islam. May Allah (swt) allow us all to learn from this jewel of Islam on how to find the right balance between Deen and Dunya. Ameen.

Khadijah (rta) – A Guiding Light for Every Muslimah

beautiful-hibiscus-flower-dsc02642Do you ever wish to shake hands with a political figure, or pose for the camera standing next to a high heeled model, or even meet a celebrated Islamic scholar? Khadijah (rta) had the honour of receiving greetings from the Lord of the worlds from above seven heavens.

Jibreel (as) once came to the Prophet (sa) and said: “O Allah’s Messenger! This is Khadijah (rta), coming to you with a dish having meat soup (or some food or drink). When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord, and on my behalf, and give her the glad tidings of having a palace made of Qasab in Paradise, wherein there will be neither any noise nor any toil.” (Bukhari)

Today, we will spend some time with our dear mother and study the traits of this wonderful woman, who attained the certificate of greatest achievement that can ever be; the Pleasure of the Most High and a Palace in Jannah. What made her so outstanding?

Women especially, are champions at complaining. 

The first Muslimah

Khadijah (rta) readily and instantly accepted the message of Islam, without any hesitation. She was well-aware that proclaiming this new faith would mean inviting trouble as she was surrounded by an ignorant, stereotyped society. How many of us refrain from taking a positive step with the fear of what people might say, and there she accepted the call of Islam at the cost of her life. Whilst we are not willing to pay any price for the truth, Khadijah (rta) gave up everything, teaching us a lesson; our reputation, our wealth and our community, nothing is more valuable than faith and the principles of truth.

Whilst we are not willing to pay any price for the truth, Khadijah (rta) gave up everything, teaching us a lesson; our reputation, our wealth and our community, nothing is more valuable than faith and the principles of truth.

Patience and endurance

Women especially, are champions at complaining. A woman not complaining about her servants, husband, children, in-laws and the tiniest struggles of life is very hard to find! Being the wife of the Prophet (sa), Khadijah (rta) had to face the greatest of trials.

After Qasim, Abdullah too passed away soon after he was born. Instead of sympathies and consolation that one would have expected at that grievous occasion, the pagans rejoiced at the news and started making fun of Muhammad (sa). Moreover, Abu Lahab ordered his two sons to divorce the daughters of Muhammad (sa) who were in their marriage. Weren’t these arrows hard hitting for a mother?

Later, came three difficult years of suffering and starvation in the valley of Abu Talib. However, Khadijah (rta) bore the hardships and the uncomfortable lifestyle without complaining even once.. Every other day, her neighbour Umm-e-Jameel would throw garbage in the front yard of the honourable Khadijah (rta). Did she go and scream at her husband about what she had to go through because of him? No she did not! She did have a heart, but what an enduring heart it was!

Spending in the way of Allah (swt)

“Allah (swt) would never humiliate you, for you are good to your relatives, you are true to your word, you help those who are in need, you support the weak, you feed the guest and you answer the call of those who are in distress.” This is the well-known testimony given by Khadijah (rta) about her husband after the first revelation. In fact, in each act of kindness and charity, she had a major role too. She never stopped her husband or crashed his generosity like many of us would have in favour of our own kids.

With Ali Ibn Talib, Zaid Bin Harithah, their children and two children from Khadijah’s (rta) previous marriage, the expenses weren’t few. However, never was a beggar sent empty handed, or a needy one refused from the household of Khadijah (rta). She gave up all her wealth to spread the religion of Allah (swt).

Never-ending support for her husband

Khadijah (rta) always stood alongside Muhammad (sa) firmly and supportively against the toughest of tides. It was her to whom he returned after the perturbing event of revelations and she affectionately reassured him. Khadijah (rta) was like a shelter amidst the pelting stones of harassment and mockery, a refuge after the tiring and heart breaking days of Dawah. She was not the grumpy, selfish kind. Both were like pillars supporting each other. No wonder Muhammad (sa) loved her and reminisced about her so often.

Every Muslim woman, especially the wives of Islamic workers have a lesson in this: Be a bridge between your men and their worship, not barriers. Like the pillars of a house you may be obscure. However, you are the actual source of strength and power!

He once said: “I have not yet found a better wife than her. She had faith in me when everyone, even members of my own family and tribe did not believe me, and accepted that I was truly a Prophet and a Messenger of Allah (swt). She converted to Islam, spent all her wealth and worldly goods to help me spread this faith. And this too when the entire world turned against me and persecuted me. It is through her that Allah (swt) blessed me with children.”

Every Muslim woman, especially the wives of Islamic workers have a lesson in this: Be a bridge between your men and their worship, not barriers. Like the pillars of a house you may be obscure. However, you are the actual source of strength and power!

An exemplary mother

Behind the faith of Zainab (rta), the Hijrah of Umm Kulthum (rta) and the endless courage of Fatimah (rta) was the hand of their mother. Amongst the children of Khadijah (rta), only Fatimah’s (rta) Seerah is available in detail, and in it one can see the generosity, patience, selflessness and love for Islam that she took from her mother. Khadijah (rta) is not just herself one of the top four ladies of Jannah, she’s also the mother of one of the top ladies of Jannah!

Muhammad (sa) once drew four lines on the ground and asked his companions if they knew what those meant. They replied in the negative. He then told them that they stood for the four leading ladies of Jannah: Asiyah Bint Muzahim, Mariam (as) Bint Imran (as), Khadijah (rta) Bint Khuwalid (rta) and Fatimah Bint Muhammad (rta).

This leads to a question that each one of us should ask ourselves. “Do our sons and daughters get a nourishment of faith, patience and Haya (modesty) from us?

We always rush after successful people, praising them and seeking advice from them. Why don’t we dive into the books of Seerah and spend some evenings with these fabulous Queens of Jannah. Forget about Miss Fashion, Miss World and the Miss Universe because “All that glitters is not gold!” Aspire to be amongst the women with the heart of gold: the women of Jannah and the legendary ladies; follow their footsteps in order to accomplish Jannah where they belong.

May Allah (swt) make us enter Paradise and meet the Queens of Jannah. Ameen