By Dr. Muhammad Abd Al-Rahman Al-Arifi – A prominent figure in the field of Dawah and author of more than twenty published works
People usually like to be valued. This is why we sometimes see individuals acting in a certain manner in order to attract attention.
Imagine this: a person returns home form work, tired. He enters his living room and finds his four children sitting. One is watching television; the other is having his dinner; the third is playing with his toys, while the fourth is doing his homework. The father greets them enthusiastically: “Assalam ualaikum!” The first three children remain engrossed with whatever they are doing, and simply mumble an inaudible reply. The fourth one, however, stands up, rushes to his father, kisses his hand and greets him warmly.
Which of the four children do you think will be the most beloved to their father? I am certain it will be the fourth one. This would not be because he is the most intelligent or the most handsome. It would only be because he showed his father that he valued him. Hence, the more you care for others, the greater their love and respect will be for you.
Here is another example: suppose a person enters a gathering and does not find a place to sit. Someone maneuvers a little, offers him a place and says pleasantly: “Please come here and sit.” The newcomer will immediately appreciate this gesture of concern from a stranger and warm up to him.
The Prophet (sa) would give utmost importance to this. While he was delivering a sermon from his pulpit one Friday, suddenly, a Bedouin entered the mosque, walked through the rows, looked at the Messenger of Allah (sa) and said in a loud voice: “O Messenger of Allah, I am a person who does not know what his religion is. Teach me what my religion is!”
The Prophet (sa) descended from his pulpit and turned to the man. He asked for a chair, sat on it and began to speak to the man and explain to him his religion, until he understood. He then resumed his sermon.
Who knows, if the Prophet (sa) had ignored the man, he may have remained ignorant about to his religion, until he died.
If we were to learn about the Prophet’s (sa) character, we would find that when he would shake someone’s hand, he wouldn’t withdraw his until the other person withdrew it first. If a person spoke to him, he would completely turn towards him, meaning that he would turn his face and body towards him, in order to listen with full attention.
The Prophet (sa) would also make everyone feel as if their issue was, in fact, his own problem, and that their worry was his personal worry. Since he also educated the Companions, they would also show concern for others, be approachable and share with them their moments of grief and happiness.
Experience tells us that whenever you show people that you value and care for them, you capture their hearts and are thus, endeared to them.
Adapted (with permission) from “Enjoy Your Life” published by “Darussalam”. Compiled for hiba by Bisma Ishtiaq.