Our Families; Coolness of our Eyes

7 coolness of eyes

This Dua is at the conclusion of the 25th Surah of the Quran, where Allah (swt) tells us to say:

“And those who say: Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun.’” (Al-Furqan 25:74)

“Our Lord”

Those who say: “Our Master, our Lord, gift us, grant us…” We are asking Him to give us a grand, unexpected, and beautiful gift. This prepositional phrase is brought earlier, especially for us. We are asking for a special favour from Allah (swt). What is this favour?

“Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring…”

In other words, you are not asking for children only; you are requesting for your lineage, for your future generations, to be the coolness of your eyes. Make our eyes cool by means of our spouses and by means of our children.

Benefits of this Dua

I call it my favourite Dua for two reasons. One, I am married and I do have children and a spouse. Two, all of us have to appreciate the power of this Dua because of the crisis of the world today. The world’s fundamental institution of family is under attack.

Almost nobody is immune from this problem. In many of our homes, there is a storm. When you find coolness of the eyes, you find refuge from the storm. This storm is not “outside” the house; it is actually “inside” the house! The family has become a place of sorrow, of depression, of sadness, of anger, and of rage. You tend to get away from home to get away from the yelling, the screaming, the name-calling, the insults, the depression, the sadness, and the friction between husband and wife, and between parents and children.

Since there is a crisis inside the home, what better Dua to ask Allah (swt)? Here, Allah (swt) tells us to ask so perfectly, so eloquently that the home should become the place of refuge. Your refuge… your safe haven… should be your spouse and your children and that is inside your home. When you see them, your worries should disappear. But for most of us that’s when our worries begin! It’s the exact opposite.

I want to give you a further appreciation of this remarkably beautiful phrase and how it is used in the Quran. I want to explain this feeling to you that Allah (swt) wants us to have with our families.

Do you know the most strongest of all emotions that exists in the humankind? The strongest emotion that I can think of is the emotion a mother feels for her child. It is the strongest bond. Can you imagine the state of Moosa’s (as) mother’s heart? She puts her baby in the water. You can’t even leave your child outside the hall. You start calling your husband: “Where is he?” “Have you seen him?” You just can’t stop. You are 30 minutes late picking your child up from school. What happens to you, you know. (I know, because I have been late picking up my kids from school before. So I know what my wife goes through.)

Now can you imagine the feelings of Moosa’s (as) mother; she had put her child in what for her was apparently certain death because what was behind was even more graphic. So she was in this desperate situation. Did she know what would happen to the child? She did not. Can you imagine not knowing what is happening or going to happen to your child when you know that they are in a dangerous situation? Subhan’Allah!

On the other hand, there was another woman in the same story. She was married to the Firawn (Pharaoh). You know some times women are in a difficult domestic situation. Now in the case of the Pharaoh’s wife, we don’t know if there was any physical abuse, but the Quran certainly indicates psychological abuse. So much so, that she had to ask for rescue. She had nowhere to turn. So the only place she could turn to was Allah (swt)!

When that baby washed up you know what she said? Now think about this… She picked up the child and she said…

  • “He will be the coolness of my eyes for me.” (read Surah Al-Qasas)
  • “He will be my refuge from the storm.”
  • “He will be my only source of joy because… I am in the middle of sadness.”

She was with the child… that childless woman was with a child now. All of a sudden, all her problems disappeared. That was her first reaction to the child. Subhan’Allah! On a separate note she said to the Pharaoh, “I won’t discuss with you.” She separated herself from the Firawn even in that. Further she said: “He will be the coolness of my eye for me and even for you.”

Even to the Firawn, she didn’t say “for us” because she did not associate herself with him. Subhan’Allah! May Allah be pleased with her!

Now, one last thing about this coolness of the eyes… and why this Dua is so beautiful, powerful, and eloquent.

When a mother has lost her child, which in this case she had, and she is re-united with her child, can you imagine the feeling of that mother? Can you imagine the tears of happiness? Can you imagine that emotion?

Now understand how Allah (swt) describes that emotion. Allah (swt) tells his favour to Moosa (as). He says: “So We restored you to your mother, that she might cool her eyes and she should not grieve.” (Ta-Ha 20:40) Allah (swt) is describing the most amazing joy! The most amazing relief! The most indescribable feeling in the heart of a mother! And what expression does He use? The coolness of the eyes!

And so we ask Allah (swt): “Give us from our spouses and our children…coolness of eyes.” When somebody says, “I want to get married,” he should go further than just wanting to get married. Say: “I want to get married to a spouse who will cool my eyes. I will be the coolness of their eyes and they will be the coolness of mine.”

Allah (swt) took the Dua further and then we understand why he talked about future generations. I’ll conclude with this: “And make us leaders over those who are cautious, conscious, fearful, pious, righteous, and those who are fearful before Allah (swt).”

This makes you realize your relationships right now are not just about you. You are setting a precedent in your family for generations to come. So when you are not acting as good husbands, good wives, good parents, and good children, then what are your future generations going to be doing? Who is going to be answerable for that negative trend that was started by you?

It’s an intelligent Dua that we should find coolness of the eyes not only in our immediate family, but the future generations should be amongst the righteous too. When we are raised on Judgement Day, we will be the Imam (leader) over the entire family, whether they were messed up or not. So we better ask for such kind of people in our lineage who elevate our ranks and not drag us down on the Judgement Day. We beg Allah (swt) that He gives all of us those kinds of families. This Dua is something you and I …everyone… every Muslim… even non-Muslims need today. Make this sincere Dua to Allah (swt) as mentioned in the Quran:

“…Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun.” (Al-Furqan 25:74)

Original transcription courtesy www.nakcollection.com; edited by hiba’s team with permission.

Twenty Tips for a Successful Marriage

happy-marriageMarriage is not only about love; it is also about trust. If you are not able to trust your spouse then there can be no love in the relationship. Today’s generation does not know the meaning of marriage. Marriage is an exceptional bond that binds you in a relationship such that whether you have a small tiff or a major problem, you try to overcome it with mutual understanding.

Even the Shaitan is envious of a married couple who ties the knots in a bond that is unbreakable. Every day he sits on his throne ordering his Shaitan servants to go and make the humans go astray. After they accomplish their evil mission, they go to their master and happily tell him about whom they managed to mislead. But the Shaitan (Iblis) is not very happy with their performance. However when one of his servants tells him that he has caused a rift between a husband and wife, he gets excited and praises that servant of his. Allah (swt) has created this couple and through Nikah they are in a special internal bond that is unbreakable. Allah (swt) hates the word divorce whereas the Shaitan (Iblis) loves to break this relationship.

Today’s generation should always think before they start an argument with their spouse; maybe it is the Shaitan who is trying to cause a rift between them. Always sit and talk about your problems to one another. Try to be patient even if your spouse isn’t. A husband-wife relationship is like a car with tyres on each side; when one of the tyres inflates, the car cannot be driven further. So keep this in mind and build such a strong relationship that even a hurricane is unable to shake it. Our Prophet’s (sa) dealing with his wives is an ideal example for us to follow and succeed.

Here are some helpful tips for a successful marriage, Insha’Allah:

  1. Trust and help each other; be good and stay positive.
  2. Please your spouse and make him or her feel special always. For example, cook his or her favourite food or dine out at his or her favourite place.
  3. Be humorous, playful, helpful, respectful and entertaining.
  4. Never bring your past mistakes in your present.
  5. Encourage and give hope to your spouse.
  6. Do not compare each other even over tiny things.
  7. Surprise your spouse with something new. For example, give gifts to each other.
  8. Spend quality time as much as you can.
  9. Look beautiful for your spouse.
  10. Listen carefully and obey sincerely.
  11. Avoid fighting, ignoring, lying, doubting, misbehaving and getting angry.
  12. Be open and discuss your problems/worries with your spouse. Also, make eye contact while speaking.
  13. If one of you is angry, the other should be quiet.
  14. Don’t argue. Simply say ‘Sorry’ whether it’s your mistake or not.
  15. Always make Dua to make your marriage successful and your relationship/ bond strong.
  16. Always be thankful to your spouse.
  17. Say ‘I love you’ to your spouse.
  18. Understand each other by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.
  19. Respect your spouse and be a garment for him or her everywhere.
  20. Eat together, be together and pray together.