The piercing sound of minions struck my eardrums. Without putting a glance I stopped my alarm. I jumped out from my bed at 6:30 a.m. It was Sunday morning; I quickly finished my routine work, wore a black gown known as Abaya, and fixed my scarf along with the Niqab. I took my bag which was a bit heavy, and rushed towards the door where I could see my driver rubbing his eyes and trying to get back to his life again. I had a great sympathy for him, as I knew how difficult it was to wake up in the morning- when nothing looks beautiful except your bed and pillow. But, I flushed out my thoughts and got back into my state.
I recited all the Duas that happened to be the most important act for me. I felt safe then. Suddenly, a drop of water fell on my cheeks and cold breeze touched my skin. I began to think how beautiful my Allah (swt) is, and at that moment my car started and took away my concentration. Forgetting about the driver and few people around me, I visualized myself around the spell-binding weather, cold mizzle and freed birds. I felt so content. The satisfaction led me to some flashbacks.
Rosy pink cheeks with attractive eyes- which were more prominent with well-blended eyeliner and lips were covered with Maybelline colour whisper; and shiny, thick hair flying out the window. Her beauty was attention seeking and she was already well-aware of it. She really wanted to be the perfectionist. Her beauty was enough to beat her plump body. She…I waited a second- why am I calling this girl (I pointed myself) as a third person. Then returning back, I continued- I was appreciated and people used to ignore the fact that I wasn’t a zero figure, I was fat then. Again, I corrected, actually “I am still a fat girl.” I was so much into this world that I forgot about the reality and went astray.
Temporary world’s beautification used to attract me, and it grabbed me so tightly that I was blind; I couldn’t distinguish between falsehood and truth, but what thing changed me? Yes Allah (swt) sent an angel for me who corrected me and made me realize that I went on a wrong path. That angel came into my life and I did come up with the devilish ideas to get that angel out of my life, but that angel didn’t leave me and stood by my side at every moment and situation.
Then one day, the people who used to appreciate my beauty- mocked me and pointed out on my character; they pointed out such things that I had never done, nor did I intend to do. But still, without saying a word, I went out of that place and rushed towards my room and cried as much as I could. Those false allegations on my character weren’t going out of my mind, I couldn’t sleep. My self-confidence, my poise was all gone. I didn’t know why, even though I knew I was pure but nobody believed. I was broken and I couldn’t enable myself to face those accusing faces- I died inside. I was unable to stand in front of my Allah (swt) because I regretted for ignoring Him.
But once I realized, I was scared and embarrassed to face my Only Creator, my Only Supporter. An angel whispered in my ears to open the Quran. And after a war within myself, I opened the Holy Quran with shivering hands, and removed the dust that fully prevailed on its cover. I randomly opened it and wind blew, and the most shocking part of my life occurred, I called it a miracle and it totally changed my life.
I read the bold lines, “Verily, proofs have come to you from your Lord, so whosoever sees, will do so for (the good of) his own self, and whosoever blinds himself, will do so to his own harm, and I (Muhammad (sa)) am not a watcher over you.” (Al-Anam 6:104)
I stood on my prayer mat without any fear and when I went in Sujood, I cried and I got my life back again. Now, I have saved my beauty for my Allah (swt) and for that man whom Allah (swt) has chosen for me. People do call me with offensive names, call me extremist, but I don’t react, nor does it affect me because Allah (swt) has said, “And give glad tidings to those who believe and do righteous good deeds, that for them will be Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise).
Every time they will be provided with a fruit there from, they will say: “This is what we were provided with before,” and they will be given things in resemblance (i.e. in the same form but different in taste) and they shall have therein Azwajun Mutahharatun (purified mates or wives), (having no menses, stools, urine, etc.) and they will abide therein forever.” (Al-Baqarah 2:25)