“O Allah please guide me to the safest and righteous path there is. Please forgive all my sins and indulge me in all the activities that you admire. Please reward all of us heaven and make us from amongst those whom you love most. Please guide us to the path that Holy Prophet (sa) led and make us his most obedient Ummah.” (Amen)
I was praying after a short session of “READING AND UNDERSTANDING QURAN” after Fajr. It always gives me pleasure to worship Allah when I am in solitude. Especially at Fajr, during a majestic and charming phase of the day. After the usual routine of Salah, Quran and supplications, I thought of my days of when I was a so called Muslim; never bothered to go to Masaajids or reciting Quran with meaning. My pants were always below my ankle for the sake of fashion and I always trimmed my small beard whenever I had a haircut. I abused and did forbidden things which I know were not right but still it all gave me something to be proud about when sitting between friends, sharing the sins committed. Sadly there was no one to correct us or stop us from being such hypocrites.
Listening and memorizing songs so that I could sing themat school occasions and conversing in the worst language possible. It all sends shivers down my spine now. May Allah forgive me and all my friends (Amen). It is not long since Allah Almighty taught me the right way to spend life. I used to change every Ramadan, praying and worshiping to the utmost. All five times prayers along with the Sunnahs and sometimes Nafls too. Reciting Quran daily and listening to lectures by preachers was a normal routine,but unfortunately just for thirty days.
I remember my friends saying rather sarcastically “Oh! Here is Mufti sahib. Come and have a chat with us” I didn’t like it but still I had to sit with them and have them make a fool out of me for doing something right. After Ramadan I was back to same old Anas lending a hand to Satan in ruining my life and this world. I am still ashamed of my past.
It was a blessing to have a mother and sister so loving, who worshipped Allah at all times. I doubt sometimes that if they weren’t there for me when I needed them the most, I may not have been writing this today. I remember times when my mother used to say, “Anas you are the least in worshiping Allah. You only pray at times when someone asks you,” these words probably sparked a change in me.
I was really into songs,especially English ones but I don’t know how my hobby got away from me over time. The first change I noticed in myself was that I didn’t like listening songs as much. Every day when I switched on the computer, I searched for a new and fresh song to entertain myself. I was obsessed.This didn’t get away easily though. I had a habit of reciting supplication while changing clothes and to my excitement, my mouth uttered lyrics instead of supplications. I was worried at first because I didn’t have a command over my tongue but eventually Alhamdulillah I recovered from this obsession.
The next thing that had enormously overcome me was slang language and words of abuse. It was normal routine going to school and picking a pupil to tease him for the whole day with abuse and more. I noticed that it was never the same when I was home but whenever I stepped into school, my language was abusive I was encouraged by one of my friend who was abusive and others would be entertained by him. I wanted to be the center of attention as well and so I did the same. My friends and I even agreed on treaties and agreements whereby we’ll stop using abusive language but it was always broken or left disobeyed. This bad habit began to get on my nerves, since I behaved this way in front of the teachers and girls, so I finally decided to control myself. You would think that how can one who’s always committed a lot of sins put a stop to them at once. I am certain and feel that the love for Allah Almighty and Islam was always somewhere inside me but it just took me a lot of time to discover it.
I was at the door steps of the right path. Waiting to knock for guidance but the only thing that I believe held me back was my distance from Salah and Quran. Even on Eid day, I only offered Eid prayer and skipped the obligatory prayers that come later.I always offered Friday prayer and occasionally offered other obligatory prayers.
However, I began praying Asr and Maghrib at the Masjid a few months back Alhamdulillah.I pray Zuhr at home after returning from school. I kept promising myself that I’ll not these three for starters.
I am 16 now and know there’s a very long time to my maturity but the peace I feel in offering prayers now, I never felt before. Not even in prayers offered at Masjid during Ramadan. Slowly I began praying Isha as well.
More recently I went through a bigger change. Our physics teacher, a God-fearing man occasionally lectured us on the teachings of Islam. A few days back he told us about Allah and His creations, the rewards of doing good deeds and most, the scene of Heaven. He told me how Allah illustrated heaven in Quran. I was carried away through his mind boggling speech and my heart started jumping with curiosity for being a rightful Muslim. Love for Allah and His prophets approached to its maximum and I know I was changed that instance. I ought to obey all that Allah commanded and from then on wards a fire, a desire of being a true Muslim enraged within me. Now I am doing all that I should. I pray to Allah that may he gift each of us with disguised angel like my physics teacher. Everyone has that true Muslim inside him; it just takes a second to explore him.