Because I have never lost anyone close to me, I never knew it would feel like this…
I still remember how I found out a few weeks ago. My distant cousin, also my best friend, told me her grandmother’s kidneys were failing. I had never met her grandmother and therefore, it was quite obvious that all I felt was a little sadness for my friend. I expressed my sorrow, as is proper, and ventured forth to ask about studies, friends, etc. A few days later, I only thought it proper to ask how her grandmother was doing. I thought that maybe she was a bit better and that asking would just show my dear friend that I cared.
Her response was: “She’s hanging on to life, but at least she’s out of pain.”
Three or four days past yet again, and I kept the talk with my newly-made friend. Slowly, I came to know her, came around to feel what she felt. It’s only natural to feel a little sad when a close friend is sad, or to be happy for a friend who is happy. As our relationship became stronger, I didn’t realize what I was putting on myself.
“I’ll be back in half an hour; I’m going to Skype Pakistan to see how my Grandma’s doing,” she said.
It was a lonely night in February and no-one else was online.
“Right, I’ll wait,” I said.
She signed off and I started my long wait. I ripped open a packet of crisps and started munching. Then I played a game, ate yet another packet, chewed a toffee, sipped my coke and bit on some chocolate. Half an hour came and went but she hadn’t come. I sighed in frustration and opened my inbox. That’s when the tinkle rang out, announcing someone had signed in.
Normally, I start a conversation by ‘Hello’ or ‘How are you?’ or maybe ‘What are you doing?’
Today though, I don’t know what had my fingers quickly typing, “How is she?”
“She has passed away,” Came back the reply.
The feeling that shot through every bone of my body was so unfamiliar that I just sat there for a minute, my eyes glued to the monitor. And then, all the junk I had just eaten came one level up in my throat. I had never met the lady, never even heard of her till her illness and my new relationship with her granddaughter, but still I felt a pain that I had never felt. Oh, I had been hurt numerous times in the past, had many injuries inflicted on me, many cruel words showered on me but never this pain, a pain of losing someone close to your heart. Involuntary tears sprang up in my eyes and I put my head in my hands to stop them.
Everyone has to go someday but we do not realize how special they are till they do go. I realized from this incident that I have to be grateful for all those special people in my life even if they have annoying habits. Before they go and leave me to regret my behavior towards them, I should treat them how they should be treated, that is, with respect and love that they have surely earned.