Holding and caressing a baby in the arms is one of the most emotionally fulfilling experiences in life. Then watching a baby grow and thrive is the most rewarding feeling one can ever get. Getting to know a newborn baby in the first few days and weeks is also a thrilling experience, which reaches far more than just caring for his daily needs. It’s like a new chapter of life, in which the baby is the main actor. The baby learns about his parents, the family and the surroundings. He learns to speak his cutely incomplete words “Ma” “Didi” and a variety of others. It is an unforgettable time for the whole family watching a tiny person making sense of the world around him, and his cute gestures are captured for a lifetime.
As this seed grows into an individual through this beautiful experience of caring, parents also develop a sense of maturity and responsibility.
“Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world…” (Al-Kahf 18:46)
Children are a source of vigour to the heart, joy to the soul and pleasure to the eyes. They allure us towards worldly life. Many parents forget the need of proper upbringing of their children, because of their intense love for them; deviating from the right parenting techniques, fulfilling their children’s wrong desires and demands. More than material items, children want time and love from their parents.
Parents are like teachers for their children. If teachers wish to succeed in providing the curriculum in a disciplined and safe environment, they spend time on preparing a lesson plan. Likewise, a parent’s long-term plan is absolutely vital for the development of a child’s physical, intellectual, moral and spiritual life. We all do some planning in our life subconsciously, but tend to ignore that for our after-life investment, because we are so much busy in worldly gains. Those, who plan for efficient parenthood, are eventually rewarded and become proud parents of their shining stars.
The importance of nurturing children is similar to plants in the nursery. The culmination of a plant is a healthy tree with flowers and fruits. Parental care here does not simply mean providing children with good food, dress and shelter. It includes proper education, the inculcation of good behaviour and attitude towards human beings and other creation. Those, who create havoc in the society and become a menace to humanity are generally known to have unfavourable upbringing.
a parent’s long-term plan is absolutely vital for the development of a child’s physical, intellectual, moral and spiritual life.
Unique Child-Parent Relationship
Parents need to change their approach, as the seed is growing slowly and gradually into a beautiful flower – from nurturing the baby to a teenager, and finally a grown up. When I was a teen, I experienced the worst of my mood swings. From extreme happiness to bleakness and bewilderment, all my emotive mood swings were perfectly handled by my parents. As a teenager, when I was too pre-occupied looking at myself in the mirror for hours, conscious about looking beautiful, my clothes and my skin, my parents often used to get annoyed; but it wasn’t deliberate, and finally they started to understand. I had always boasted to my mother, “You don’t understand me!” and she used to respond “My dear, it’s an experience of forty-eight years of my life; I have seen the brutal realities that you haven’t. I may not understand you, and I’m sorry if you’re unhappy, but I can’t see you like this.” This way my mother expressed her immense care and love.
I had the magical feeling and thinking, “It will never happen to me!” whenever my mother would narrate a few of her experiences regarding life. Belief in this magic always made me feel: how can anyone betray you if you truly love him? And my brother always thought he can safely drive in a daredevil manner. But, unfortunately, I was always wrong; whatever my mother said was like an interpretation of the future, which always came true. And, then I used be like, “Oh my Allah (swt), this is exactly what my mom told me.”
So my dear readers, if you ever start thinking your parents are a pain, or that they get in the way, then you lose. Because, when you put your parents in an old folk’s home and forget about them, you can be sure that your kids will put you there one day as well and forget about you. Islam instills into us love and care for our parents, because they helped us take our first step, nurtured us and cared for us like diamonds. The Holy Quran says:
“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.” (Luqman 31:14)