Raising Effective Communicators
Discover Your Child
By Rana Rais Khan
- How will the book Discover Your Child be used?
Ask your children the questions given in the book in a relaxed environment and record the child’s responses silently. Smile when your child smiles, if he laughs, laugh along with him. And if you do not like a certain response, DO NOT react to it, because if you do he might not answer the next question truthfully in the fear of your anger or disappointment.
The real purpose is to bring out what is in your child’s heart and mind, to give you an opportunity to improve your parenting style and to build effective communication. This is to help you make your child realize how much he can depend on his thoughts and feelings. This trust is especially important for building self-esteem.
Children who are constantly criticized and told that their thought process is very disappointing, what they say is untrustworthy and foolish often turn out to have low-self-esteem and face trouble with relationship building.
- What kind of communication do parents indulge in with their children and how is ‘Discover Your Child’ a different experience?
What do parents often talk to their children about? In today’s day and age both parents and children are extremely busy.
Every so often parents only communicate with their children in three ways:
- To give instructions i.e. “brush your teeth before sleeping”.
- To question them i.e.” how was your day at school?”
- To show their anger i.e. “why did you score low marks in the test?” or “Are you not interested in studying”? etc.
The innocent questions in this book are slightly different; this book is a source of providing particularly important knowledge about your child. It is a tool to help you know your values of today and vision of tomorrow. The questions will force your child to think about themselves and as a result child become aware of their conscious thinking and resulting choices. This will help them become comfortable and effective communicators in the future In sha Allah.
- Why do we need to bother so much about what a child thinks today??
Remember what your child thinks today is what he is going to practice tomorrow and that is why our Deen also teaches us to have control over our thoughts, corrects negative thoughts and encourages a positive thought pattern.
Lastly, I pray that we all pray for our children with iklhas, we learn to respect them, we recognize their skills and talents. We must not try and change their identity, in fact provide them with a positive environment and facilitation to nurture the abilities that Allah (swt) has blessed them with. I pray that your children turn out to be obedient Muslims and play a constructive role in the society.