Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan
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- How to Recover from Heartbreaks and Emotional Pain - October 8, 2018
This Dua is at the conclusion of the 25th Surah of the Quran, where Allah (swt) tells us to say:
“And those who say: Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun.’” (Al-Furqan 25:74)
Those who say: “Our Master, our Lord, gift us, grant us…” We are asking Him to give us a grand gift, an unexpected gift, a beautiful gift. This is a gift you are asking Allah (swt) to give you. This prepositional phrase is brought earlier, especially for us. We are asking for a special favour from Allah (swt). What is this favour that we are asking Allah (swt)?
“Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring…”
In other words, you are not asking for children only; you are requesting for your lineage, for your future generations, to be the coolness of your eyes. Make our eyes cool by means of our spouses and by means of our children.
Benefits of this Dua
I call it my favourite Dua for two reasons. One, I am married and I do have children and a spouse. Two, all of us have to appreciate the power of this Dua because of the crisis of the world today. The world’s fundamental institution of family is under attack.
Muslims or non-Muslims, almost nobody is immune from this problem. In many of our homes, there is a storm. When you find coolness of the eyes, you find refuge from the storm. This storm is not “outside” the house. The storm is actually “inside” the house! You tend to get away from home to get away from the yelling, the screaming, the name-calling, the insults, the depression, the sadness, and the friction between husband and wife, and between parents and children.
Our homes are broken. A brother is not talking to his real brother. Parents are not talking to children. Every day, every one of us experiences such statements as:
- “I have got this problem”
- “I can’t talk to my kid”
- “He yells at me”
- “We can’t talk”
- “He’s doing these things that… I don’t know how to stop”
- “My husband…”
- “My wife…”
Some mother… some father… some husband… some wife… has come up to all of us some day and said one of the above.
This is a crisis inside the home. What better Dua to ask Allah (swt)? The family has become a place of sorrow, of depression, of sadness, of anger, and of rage. People feel like they want to escape it; here, Allah (swt) tells us to ask so perfectly, so eloquently that the home should become the place of refuge. It’s the outside world where the storm is and you suffer on the outside. Your refuge… your safe haven… should be your spouse and your children and that is inside your home. When you see them, your worries should disappear. But for most of us that’s when our worries begin! It’s the exact opposite.
I want to give you a further appreciation of this remarkablly beautiful phrase and how it is used in the Quran. I want to explain this feeling to you that Allah (swt) wants us to have with our families.
Do you know the most strongest of all emotions that exists in the humankind? The strongest emotion that I can think of is the emotion a mother feels for her child. It is the strongest bond. To all the married couples, when you are first married, you are obsessed with your spouse.
- “You are so awesome!”
- “No you are awesome!”
- “How perfect Allah (swt) makes the pairs.”
- “I can’t believe you are my husband.”
You are this weird in the beginning. People look at you in a funny way; you know, the guy has got a goofy smile on his face all the time. The husband’s name is mentioned and she gets shy. Ten years go by; now when the husband’s name is mentioned, the wife like, yeah so?
Anyway, when you have your first child (the husbands will realize this), the following happens all too often. You are talking to your wife about something; the baby is in the other room. You know the husband doesn’t even have the ears for this one; the baby just does a little: “Ehhh”. That’s it! That’s all the baby does. And guess what happens to the mother? Her conversation with her husband is over. He was in the middle of telling her how his day went, it was a really important meeting, and where did he go. But what happened! Spider-sense goes berserk. The mother goes in the other room and she picks up the child. Nothing comes between whom? The mother and the child! Nothing! Nothing comes between them. It is the strongest bond.
Now to the mothers: Can you imagine the state of Moosa’s (as) mother’s heart? She puts her baby in the water. You can’t even leave your child outside the hall. You start calling your husband: “Where is he?” “Where is he?” “Have you seen him?” “Where is he at?” You just can’t stop. You are 30 minutes late picking your child up from school. What happens to you, you know. (I know, because I have been late picking up my kids from school before. So I know what my wife goes through.)
When mothers haven’t seen the child for a long time inside the home, what happens?
- “Where did you go? Abdul Karim, Abdul Karim. Where are you?”
- “I am in the bathroom! Relax, mom! I’m here.”
There is this desperation. Now can you imagine the feelings of Moosa’s (as) mother; she had put her child in what for her was apparently certain death because what was behind was even more graphic. So she was in this desperate situation. Did she know what would happen to the child? She did not. Can you imagine not knowing what is happening or going to happen to your child when you know that they are in a dangerous situation? Can you even imagine this? Subhan’Allah!
On the other hand, there was another woman in the same story. She was married to the Firawn (Pharaoh). You know some times women are in a difficult domestic situation. And usually in a society like ours, you can call the domestic hotline; you can call the cops if there is any abuse.
Now in the case of the Pharaoh’s wife, we don’t know if there was any physical abuse, but the Quran certainly indicates psychological abuse. So much so, that she had to ask for rescue. She was in this terrible marriage and she could not even call the cops. Why not? Because he (Firawn) owned the cops. She could not complain to the government because he was the government. She had got nowhere to turn. So the only place she could turn to was who? Allah (swt)!
She was in the middle of the storm and she couldn’t find a refuge. But when that baby washed up you know what she said? Now think about this… She picked up the child and she said…
- “He will be the coolness of my eyes for me.” (read Surah Al-Qasas)
- “He will be my refuge from the storm.”
- “He will be my only source of joy because… I am in the middle of sadness.”
She was with the child… that childless woman was with a child now. All of a sudden, all her problems disappeared. That was her first reaction to the child. Subhan’Allah! On a separate note she said to the Pharaoh, “I won’t discuss with you.” She separated herself from the Firawn even in that. Further she said: “He will be the coolness of my eye for me and even for you.”
Even to the Firawn, she didn’t say “for us” because she did not associate herself with him. Subhan’Allah! May Allah be pleased with her!
Now, one last thing about this coolness of the eyes… and why this Dua is so beautiful, powerful, and eloquent.
When a mother has lost her child, which in this case she had, and she is re-united with her child, can you imagine the feeling of that mother? Can you imagine the tears of happiness? Can you imagine that emotion?
Now understand how Allah (swt) describes that emotion. Allah (swt) tells his favour to Moosa (as). He says: “So We restored you to your mother, that she might cool her eyes and she should not grieve.” (Ta-Ha 20:40) Allah (swt) is describing the most amazing joy! The most amazing relief! The most indescribable feeling in the heart of a mother! And what expression does He use? The coolness of the eyes!
And so we ask Allah (swt), “Give us from our spouses and our children…coolness of eyes.” That is what we ask Allah (swt). When somebody says, “I want to get married,” he should go further than just wanting to get married. Say: “I want to get married to a spouse who will cool my eyes. I will be the coolness of their eyes and they will be the coolness of mine.”
Allah (swt) took the Dua further and then we understand why he talked about future generations. I’ll conclude with this: “And make us leaders over those who are cautious, conscious, fearful, pious, righteous, and those who are fearful before Allah (swt).
You know what it makes you realize? It makes you realize your relationships right now are not just about you. You are setting a precedent in your family for generations to come. So when you are not acting as good husbands, good wives, good parents and good children, then what are your future generations going to be doing? Who is going to be answerable for that negative trend that was started by you? Who is going to be answerable for that?
It’s an intelligent Dua that we should find coolness of the eyes not only in our immediate family, but the future generations should be amongst the righteous too. When we are raised on Judgement Day, we will be the Imam (leader) over the entire family, whether they were messed up or not. So we better ask for such kind of people in our lineage who elevate our ranks and not drag us down on the Judgement Day. We beg Allah (swt) that He gives all of us those kinds of families. So the biggest favour that you can do to me and your fellow Muslims is to make this Dua for us because none of us are immune from this. This Dua is something you and I …everyone… every Muslim… even non-Muslims need today. They have no peace in their families. So I beg all of you sincerely to make this sincere Dua to Allah (swt) as mentioned in the Quran:
“…Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun.” (Al-Furqan 25:74)
I sincerely pray that Allah (swt) gives us such a spouse and children who become the coolness of our eyes and that He makes us an Imam, a leader over those who are pious and righteous.
May Allah (swt) forgive all our shortcomings, accept all our Duas and make the means of our forgiveness easy upon us. Make Dua for me too brothers and sisters!
Original transcription courtesy www.nakcollection.com; edited by hiba’s team with permission.