I am thirty-three years old Muslimah, who accepted Islam six years ago.
As I was growing up, I preferred solitude and had a very limited circle of friends at school. The activities that girls of my age engaged in bored me and seemed silly. I spent more time on studies and less on social activities. There were times, when my parents would say to me: “Put down the book and go outside!” But even outside I preferred to spend time in nature alone, rather than with friends.
In childhood, I went to Sunday school in church together with my grandfather. I had a sure belief that God does exist. In teenage years, I tried youth group of a Lutheran church, but could not understand, why they talk only about Jesus. If Jesus was God, why didn’t they simply call him God? My love towards God had grown out of stories about prophets – last one in that book was story about Jesus, so maybe this is why it had never crossed my mind that Jesus was more than a prophet in Christianity. In my teenage years, I went to church very seldom; and it was not helpful either that whenever I went there, all the talks always seemed to be the same.
Later, when I grew up, my grandfather encouraged me to attended Bible studies in church. As I listened to what the pastor was speaking, I felt anger boil inside me, as his words did not make sense. If anyone asked him a question, the answer was such that one would understand even less after hearing it. When I came home, I often cried out of frustration. Finally, I decided to switch to a different pastor.
This is an excerpt from the print issue.
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