Someone once quoted: “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” So we know that a man is known by the company he keeps.
Friendships are formed on the pretext of common interests and similar values. But at times we desperately try to grow a friendship simply to fit into a crowd we consider cool. This may even mean giving up our own identity, changing appearances, anything short of selling our soul just to be accepted. Guess what? If that is the case, we are definitely hanging out with the wrong people and probably at the wrong places too!
A simple quiz can help you assess what your friendship is truly worth. Visualize your close friends and answer the questions below honestly.
- Do I have to put up pretences in the presence of my friends?
- Can I trust my friends with secrets?
- Do my friends agree with everything I do without ever correcting me?
- Do I suspect my friends make fun of me in my absence, especially if they are habitual backbiters?
- In the hour of need, do they make sacrifices for me?
- Are they sincere enough not to misuse my money and belongings?
- When I have trouble with my relations, do they instigate me further?
- Can I reveal my weaknesses before them without becoming a laughing stock?
- Am I hesitant to call my friends over to my house and meet my family?
- Can I call my friends good practicing Muslims who fear and love Allah?
If most of your answers are in the affirmative, way to go! You are one of the lucky ones whom Allah has blessed with good companions. But if your answers are in negative, you need to seriously consider your friendships. It is not necessary that people who are the life of a party can be meaningful friends too.
Example of a True Friend
Abu Bakr (rta) is an unrivalled example of friendship and love for Allah (swt). Our Prophet Muhammad (sa) once said: “If I was to take a Khaleel (intimate friend) in this life, it would have been Abu Bakr. But our brotherhood in faith is enough.”
Abu Bakr (rta) was blessed for being the first and foremost, in his belief, his support and his love for the Messenger (sa). For this quality he was honoured with the title of As-Siddiq (Verifier of faith).
- He trusted Prophet Muhammad (sa) in the most turbulent times, like the incident of Ascension (Mairaj) when the majority disbelieved.
- At the battle of Tabuk, Abu Baker (rta) gave away all of his wealth and possessions for Allah (swt).
- In the cave of Thaur, when hiding from the chasing enemies, Abu Bakr (rta) covered the holes of snakes with his feet, so they would not bite the Prophet (sa).
- Once, he was almost beaten to death by the polytheists of Quraish, while protecting the Messenger (sa). Upon regaining consciousness he asked, “Where is the Messenger of Allah?” and refused to eat or rest until he saw the Prophet (sa).
Potently, friendships formed with good believers are really the ones that survive trials. Mainly because of a unified goal, that is to please Allah. Allah also loves such people dearly and states: “Where are those who loved each other for my sake? I will shade them on a day when there is no shade except mine.” (Muslim)