Stories
Stories are a great tool to teach children good manners. Telling children to “behave” does not have the same effect as being told a story with a good moral. There are amazing books and stories from the lives of the prophets and Sahabah as well as other literature in the market that you can use to emphasize on the behaviour aspect you wish to teach.
Role-Play
How to play: Role-play the following situations:
- Two children are sitting at a table and colouring. One child needs a crayon that is out of his/her reach. It is within the reach of the other child. What should the first child say to the other child nearest to the crayon?
- The children are in line at the school canteen. Another child asks the second child in line to let him cut in. What should that second child in line do?
- The teacher is giving directions and one child in the class has a question to ask about the directions being given. What should that child do?
- One child has forgotten his lunch at home. What should the other children do in this situation?
Brainstorm some more scenarios and help children act it out and figure out the appropriate behaviour.
What it teaches: Empathy, compassion, manners and respect.
Looking on the Bright Side
How to play: Start a story in which something negative happens (“Madiha did not lend her book to her brother”). Ask the children to give a positive reason why this happened (“Maybe Madiha felt the book was not suitable for him”). Continue the story where the character does undesirable things and help the children come up with a positive excuse for that behaviour.
What it teaches: Hamdun al-Qassar, one of the great early Muslims, said, “If a friend among your friends errs, make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own selves.”
The Messenger of Allah (sa) said: “Overlook the slips of respected people.” (Bukhari) It is from the Adab of Muslims to not think negatively of others.
Voice Lessons
How to play: Read 10 sentences from a children’s book using a pleasant voice for some and a whiny voice for others. Each time show the children what a difference there is in the way one speaks.
What it teaches: It’s nice to be nice! The Prophet (sa) said: “…and he who believes in Allah and the Hereafter should say something good or keep quiet.”
“Mother, May I?”
How to play: Line up the players facing and give commands to one kid at a time: “Ali, take one hop forward.” If Ali responds, “Mother, may I?” you can say either “Yes, you may” or “No, you may not.” If your reply is “yes,” make sure that Ali says “Thank you!” before he goes. Anyone, who forgets their manners or makes a move without permission, is sent back to the starting line. Keep playing, until one child reaches Mother. Give each kid a chance to be Mother.
What it teaches: Respect. Messenger of Allah (sa) said: “He who does not show mercy to our young ones or recognize the rights of our elders is not one of us.”
The Cheer-Up Game
How to play: On large squares of paper, draw a series of faces with different unhappy expressions: sad, angry, scared, sick. Put the papers in a basket and ask kids to take turns choosing a face then acting out the feeling shown. For example, a “sad” child might pretend to cry. It’s the job of the other players to help her feel better. First, they should ask questions: “Why are you sad? How can I help?” After the “upset” child gives his explanation (“My friend was mean to me”), the other kids role-play solutions. They may give hugs, say “I’m sorry,” or offer a snack.
What it teaches: Kindness and compassion. Until children know how it feels to have their feelings hurt, they won’t understand why it is important to treat others with respect and kindness.
Manners Tea Party
How to play: Celebrate good manners with a tea party. Discuss the manners that will be necessary at the party: how to be a generous host and a gracious guest, how to wait for your turn, how to behave when you don’t like something to eat, and so on. Teach children to not eat with their mouth full, to start with Bismillah and to end with Alhumdulillah.
What it teaches: Generosity and table manners. The Prophet (sa) said: “…whoever believes in Allah (swt) and the Last Day should serve his guest generously.”
My Pledge for Today
How to play: Ask your children to make a pledge every morning, as the task for that day. For example, they can make a pledge to be kind and use nice words for everyone they meet. Or they can pledge to be helpful and go out of their way for their teachers or parents. They can pledge to be fair and share with their friends.
What it teaches: “… and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al–Masakin (the poor), the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet)…” (an-Nisa 4:36)
Receiving and Giving Gifts
How to play: Remind the children how good people feel, when they give someone a gift, and the person shows their appreciation by saying “thank you!”, “it’s beautiful!”, “it’s just what I wanted!”, “I love it!” Have the children make gifts for each other and then exchange them.
What it teaches: Gratefulness to others, and realizing that no one is entitled for anything. “And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed: ‘If you give thanks, I will give you more…’” (Ibrahim 14:7)
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