How can family members be proactive?
There are two types of people in the world: proactive and reactive. Proactive individuals make choices based on values, whereas reactive people make their choices on impulse, as animals do.
To understand the difference between the two, you can imagine a bottle of water and a can of soda. What happens when you shake a bottle of water? Nothing. It simply remains cool, composed and in control. But what happens when you shake a can of soda? It pops! It lets out fizz, bubbles, sound, etc. It goes out of control.
If you want to be proactive, embrace the following immediately:
- Be kind
In relationships, the little things are the big things. Such sincerely spoken words as ‘thank you’, ‘please’, ‘excuse me’, ‘you go first’ and ‘may I help you’ contribute towards a pleasant atmosphere. Helping family members with small chores when they are least expecting them goes a long way towards building relationships of trust and unconditional love.
For most of us, our sense of security is based on our image, our position or on being right. Apologizing means draining all the juice from our ego. But remember – even if our temper surfaces only one hundredth of 1% of the time, it will affect the quality of our entire life, if we do not take responsibility for it and apologize.
- Be loyal to the absent
Always talk about others, as if they were present. Imagine if our loved ones overhear us making disloyal comments about them, how hurt they would be, and how ashamed we would be. Never lend your ear to gossips; soon, the conversation will loose its spice and shift to other interesting subjects.
You will always remain a victim, until you forgive. Once you have done that, you will open the channels through which trust and unconditional love can flow. You cleanse your own heart and give others a chance to change.
- Never presume
Most of us impose our plans on others without taking their convenience into consideration. For instance, if you know that your elder sister has to submit a really important assignment on a Monday, you should be considerate and NOT invite your friends over on the weekend and expect her to entertain them. Ask such questions as: “Is this alright with you?” before planning anything that affects the rest of your family members.