Marriage to Abu Bakr Sideeq (ra)
It was an Arab tradition to hasten to marry their women, as soon as they were of age or had completed their iddah. They understood the worth of a complete family.
When Jafar bin Abi Talib (ra) passed away, Abu Bakr Sideeq (ra) proposed her. Allah (swt) was granting her one righteous man after another. Asma (ra) had no reason to refuse.
Known for his kindness and generosity, Abu Bakr (ra) showered upon Asma (ra) and her children his love and care.
Lessons to Draw: Not only are we delaying marriages, but we are also treating the widows and the divorced women as outcasts. The outcome, we see is not a pleasing one. Hasten to marry the women under your care with him whose character pleases you. Treat your spouse’s children from another marriage with love and kindness as you would treat your own children.
Birth of Muhammad bin Abu Bakr and Hajj
Asma (ra) was travelling with her husband for Hajj-tul-Widah when she delivered Muhammad bin Abu Bakr. She knew she was nearing the end of her term yet packed for this journey. When the Prophet (sa) was informed about the birth of the child he instructed her to take a bath and recite talbiyah. From here we learn, about the permissibility of doing Hajj in this condition.
Lessons to draw: Do not find unnecessary excuses to abstain from worship. Many pregnant women neglect their worship blaming it on their condition. And many families are supportive of this attitude. If we reflect on this, are we expressing our gratitude by not worshipping Him? How can Allah (swt) grant us peace and contentment if with each blessing, we minus one act of worship?
Death of Abu Bakr Sideeq (ra)
Abu Bakr (ra) could not bear the loss of his beloved friend Muhammad (sa) and fell ill. Abu Bakr (ra) willed that Asma (ra) be the one to bathe him. He especially requested not to keep her voluntary fast the day he passes away. Upon seeing signs of death, Asma (ra) started reciting the Quran near him. The recitation of the Quran, comforted this lover of Qur’an and he passed away peacefully.
Lessons to Draw: We learn that a wife can give ghusl to her deceased husband. Many cultures, forbid a wife from even seeing their deceased spouse’s face stating various verdicts. We also learn that instead of crying or being sorrowful near a dying loved one we should act strong and remind them of Allah (swt). And what could be a better reminder than the Book of Allah, itself?
Marriage to Ali bin Abi Talib (ra)
After the death of her two husbands, Asma (ra) made the education and upbringing of her sons the purpose of her life. Ali (ra) decided to take his brother’s wife and his children under his care. And hence, their marriage took place.
Ali (ra) was known for his intelligence and wisdom. Living under his care, Asma (ra) strengthened her intelligence and wisdom as well. One day, a conflict emerged between her son from Jafar (ra) and the son from Abu Bakr (ra). Each boasted of their father being better than the other’s. Asma (ra) resolved the matter by saying that in the entire Arabian Peninsula she did not know of a better young man than Jafar bin Abi Talib (ra). And she did not know of a better old man than Abu Bakr Sideeq (ra). The brothers stopped fighting and hugged one another. Ali (ra) who had been witnessing this argument was impressed by his wife’s wisdom and complimented her.
Lessons to Draw: Mothers, learn the tactics of conflict resolution. Before punishing or unnecessarily rewarding the child, reach for the root cause. Listen to them and their problems. Do not panic. Take parenting as an assignment from Allah (swt) and honour this responsibility.
Asma (ra) passed away soon after the death of Ali bin Abi Talib (ra).
(Adapted from the book: Seerat e Sahabiyat k Darakshan Pehlu by and the lectures of Dr. Farhat Hashmi: Seerat e Sahabiyat)